Stiletto Diaries

We enjoyed our complementary breakfast on Thursday morning before checking out of the Holiday Inn and heading for Chicago.  A generous blogger pal of mine had offered to tour us around for the day, and we were looking forward to a break from driving and having a chance to see the sights.

On our way to Chicago we crossed over the Mississippi River, which was quite a sight.  It will forever remind me of this song, which I picked up somewhere as a kid.

Chicago traffic was horrific, and we had to stop twice to pay tolls in the city.  TOLLS!  Just for the displeasure of driving on the freeway.

Mags actually did a good job and led us right to the hotel.  We got checked in and smuggled the ferret inside.  Once we were settled I called up my friend, who fetched us from the hotel and drove us around for the evening.

First stop of the day was pizza!  I’d had the Canadianized version of Chicago deep dish pizza, but let me tell you, it is NOTHING like what we had.

Since neither of us were driving, V and I had margaritas.  We ordered the spinach pizza, which was basically crust, spinach, two kinds of cheese, and sauce.

The stuffed pizza is made with a crust that is flaky, like a pie crust, yet still holds together like traditional pizza dough.  They make the pie extra deep, and then layer the spinach on the bottom.  On top of that they add a very generous inch of mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Then they cover it with a paper-thin layer of pizza dough, and spread marinara sauce on top. This preparation keeps the layers and flavours separated, so that you can enjoy them in a more individual way. It was the most incredible pizza I have ever eaten.

422. Eat Chicago deep dish pizza in Chicago

I may go back to Chicago just for the pizza, it was that damned good.

Next our tour guide drove us along the lakeside so that we could see the marina (OMG so many boats) and check out Lake Michigan. We got to see a condominium building where Oprah apparently owns a suite.

We also stopped by Wrigley Field so that I could get a couple of photos for Jack. I think it would be so cool to go to a game there someday (I think it’s on Jack’s bucket list, so maybe I will get to eventually :D)

After parking downtown we walked to Millennium Park. There is a really neat splash park there, featuring two very large, rectangular fountains built out of glass bricks. The fountains not only change colors during the evening, thanks to lights inside, but on the front sides faces are projected onto the glass. The faces change regularly, and generally just stare and blink at each other (the ‘towers’ are situated across from each other, with a pool of water between them).

The kids seemed to be mulling around in front of the towers, apparently waiting for something. We paused to watch, and then the faces pursed their lips, as if to whistle, and water came pumping out of an opening situated where their mouths were. It was so neat, and kind of weird, LOL.

Beyond the splash park, was the enormous silver bean (better known as the Cloud Gate) which is an impressive art instillation, inspired by liquid mercury. We walked all around it and underneath, and our guide snapped a couple of photos of V and I standing against it.

428. Get a photo by the Cloud Gate/Giant Bean

There also happened to be a concert going on at the neighbouring stage, which is an impressive structure in itself.

I almost stepped on an enormous insect, which looked something like a wasp. I still have no idea what it was, but I snapped a picture anyway.

We strolled away from the park and towards the Sears Tower, which was the last Chicago item on my list.

I stopped at a Starbucks to use the bathroom and grab a coffee. Outside, above us, were the raised tracks of the train system in Chicago. They were featured a few times in the Batman Begins. It was really cool to see the sparks arcing off the rails as some of the trains passed overhead.

I was really excited to see Chicago at night, from the top of Sears Tower. We stood at the base and looked all the way up to the top. The Skydeck is near the top of the tower, 1,353 feet up (103rd floor if I remember correctly).

After we purcheased passes, we watched a brief documentary on the building of the tower. It was fascinating to get a glimpse of how the tower was constructed and the length of time it took to be completed.

Once that was over, we got into the elevator and up we went. The elevator ride lasted for almost a minute, and then we stepped out onto the Skydeck.

The view was breathtaking. Pictures really don’t do it justice at all.

293. Take a photo of Chicago from the Skydeck of the Sears Tower

We wandered and looked for at least half an hour. The reflection on the windows from the interior lights made it difficult to get a really good shot, but I did the best I could. I hate shooting through glass anyway.

Once we’d seen our fill, our wonderful guide drove us out of downtown and back towards our hotel. He was kind enough to stop at a liquor store so that we could pick up some coolers, and then dropped us off for the evening. We would never have enjoyed Chicago the way we did without him (and it would have cost us a fortune in cabs) so I hope that he knows how sincerely grateful both V and I are for his generosity, and for sharing some of his interesting knowledge of the city. If you ever come to Toronto my friend, I hope you’ll allow me to show you around

V and I enjoyed the warm evening and had a couple of drinks on the lawn of the hotel. Eventually we retired to our air conditioned room, looking forward to sleeping in the following morning.

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A summary of our Saturday, spent preparing for our week-long road trip can be found here and here.  I won’t bother going over everything that happened that day, but needless to say, our trip was off to an interesting start, LOL.

Sunday marked Day One of Shasta & V Do America.  We said our goodbyes and off we went, south of Calgary towards the Alberta/Montana border.

Neither of us had really driven into the states, so we didn’t know what to expect at the border. Fortunately the line up was fairly short, and we didn’t have to wait long. The cute customs officer was very sweet, and rather than search our trailer, they just gave it a quick scan and sent us on our way. It was a relief to be in and out of there without any trouble.

Cut Bank, Montana was the first stop of the evening, to see the World’s Largest Penguin. We wandered around looking for it, before finally stopping at a little casino to use the bathroom and ask where we could find said penguin. The bartender was kind enough to direct us and allowed us to use the facilities.

We found the penguin just where he said it would be. We parked the truck and trailer in the lot of an abandoned drive-in diner (you know, the kind with the car hops that came out to take your order). The penguin was indeed very large, as you can see from the above photos.

283. See the World’s Largest Penguin

That accomplished, and the sun going down, our next item of business was finding a place to sleep. Our GPS (nicknamed Mags) informed us that there was a camp ground nearby, and so we headed over there, only to find the supposed location populated by houses, and a hill.

Not sure what else to do, we drove east towards Chester, hoping to see a sign for camping. We did see a sign, although the facilities were not exactly what we had in mind. The ‘camp ground’ was basically a park in the middle of town, like a playground, with a grassy area. It was well after nightfall by this time, so we said to hell with it, parked, and set about putting our tent together. Thank gods we bought head lamps before we left Calgary.

There was a hole in the air mattress, and so we made up a bed the best we could, although we were seriously lacking for blankets. It had been so hot that day we didn’t think it would get too cold at any rate. In fact we didn’t bother putting the fly over the tent, so that the entire ceiling was open to the stars above.

167. Sleep under the stars

I heard a tiny meow outside, and decided to investigate, only to find a small kitten huddled next to a tree beside our tent. I approached slowly, V close behind me, but he started up the tree, and when I reached out to touch him, he spat and hissed furiously. So much for that. He was stuck up the tree and continued to cry until after we fell asleep, but there was nothing we could do (he did manage to get down on his own, I checked the next day).

I woke up in the wee hours, freezing to death, cuddled as close to V as possible. We were both curled up tightly, but there wasn’t much hope for sleep. It felt like the night may never end, and I don’t think that I really slept again until the sun began to rise and warm us up.

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GOOD MORNING!!! I am writing this at a picnic table near Sheridan, Wyoming at about 7:30 in the morning. V and I pulled into a KOA (Kampground of America) last night at the end of Shasta & V Do America - Day Two. The trip has been really awesome so far, although our patience and resiliency are being put to the test. A plethora of things have gone wrong right from the beginning (the U-Haul was late being returned before our rental, the lights hook-up wouldn’t work, we packed the trailer until 2am, etc) but we have taken it in stride. We are laughing a whole lot at any rate. I have missed blogging. I feel like I am SOOOOO far behind, with so much to write. Last week in Calgary I was able to visit with some of my friends, and cross off quite a number of list items. In fact, here is a summary of what I have managed to accomplish recently:

167. Sleep under the stars

283. See the World’s Largest Penguin

369. Taste ostrich meat

377. Take a pee in the robot potty in Calgary

381. Eat a cupcake from Crave

449. Ride on the back of a motorcycle through the country

452. Have a Tubby Dog

I have a ton of photos from both Alberta and here in America to get posted once we reach home, not to mention at least half a dozen blog posts to write regarding the tail-end of my time in Calgary and then our road trip across the country.

Getting in to America was far easier than I expected. The border security officer that we spoke to was friendly and easy going (and cute!) and he teased us about bringing V’s pet ferret into the States. They scanned our trailer and sent us on our way. I would say that once we actually got up to the gate, we got through in about 10 minutes total (and that includes the scan thing they did). Super awesome! We love you border security people!

Montana was really gorgeous for the most part, and the people were really friendly (you always get a few of the other kind, no matter where you go). Cell service down here is sort of interesting (I can only get it intermittently) so if I go long stretches without Twittering, that is why.

We are hoping to stay at another KOA tonight, close to Lincoln, Nebraska. Tomorrow we are going to make our best effort to get all the way to Chicago, since we have sight-seeing plans with a fellow blogger, and tentative cocktails with CunningMinx.

V and I are really enjoying the drive through America. We are especially enjoying the much cheaper gas (don’t you dare complain about gas prices America! We pay about $20 dollar more per tank than you do :P)

Well, I’d better get V and the ferret up so that we can get a move on, or we may never make it to Chicago, LOL.

I will do what I can to get another post or two up before we get to Ontario, but no promises

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I’ve never been a big believer in fate or destiny. I prefer the idea that I control my own life, direction, and future. However, I have to admit that I feel something larger than our own choice brought us out to Ontario. I just got a strange sense that this is where we were meant to be, and that the experience is serving some purpose in my life.

Very recently, Jack was offered the opportunity to take a job back in Calgary. Our move would be paid for, other costs of such a transition covered, and the assurance of a position for him upon our…um, re-arrival.

There would be a cost of course. The job in question would be less stable (read could be eliminated within the next couple of years). There would be a pay cut, and little to no opportunity for advancement. We would also have to give up the magnificent house we have here, and the eldest child would have to switch schools mid-year.

However, as Jack pointed out, this will likely be our only opportunity to go back in this fashion (with everything paid and a job at the other end).

You have no idea how badly a part of me wants to say yes. I miss Alberta; I miss my friends, my family, and the luxury of having a night away from the kids with my husband. When I think about the people we left behind…I just want to start packing boxes and booking plane tickets.

There is a larger part of me that knows that wouldn’t be the best choice. We are just beginning to get established here. There are so many things we have yet to see and do. Jack is going to take me to Ottawa and Montreal this year. We want to go camping up in the northern part of the province, and then there is the fact that V is getting geared up to move out here with us. Yes, if we moved back, she would be nice and close again, but not in the same house.

I just don’t think the time is right for us to leave Ontario.

*James P. Blaylock

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Moving is a highly unpleasant experience. One that I don’t wish to repeat in the near future. Moving over 7 metric tons of our life from one end of the country to the other was an extreme exercise in patience and pushed us right to the brink of sanity. I think Jack and I came closer to killing each other than ever before, particularly because this was not one of those ‘happy’ moves. Like when we moved into our first house. It was so exciting, so long anticipated. This move was a mixture of bitter sadness, fear, and irritation.

Yes, there is also excitement, but it’s hard to be excited when you lock the door of your dream house for the last time. A house that I spent WEEKS making our home. It was our first house, we had planned to live there until our kids were grown (perhaps unrealistic but it was our dream anyway).

The new house is also awesome. However, it won’t feel like home until I get around to the painting and decorating and all the personal touches that give it that warm and familiar feeling. Right now I am still mourning. Still trying to let go of something that is no longer mine.

I don’t hate change. In fact I generally embrace it with passion, as stagnancy irritates me. I’m not ready for that yet. Soon I am sure, but not yet. This change is a difficult one, and those sorts don’t pass without at least a little emotional upheaval. Like having a baby or getting married, strain and fear of the unknown is to be expected.

There are some bright spots on the horizon. The Sex Show is coming in October and V is coming out for it. Jack and I are making plans to celebrate New Years Eve back home with friends. Before we know it I’ll be flying out to Calgary to help load up V’s life and drive out here with her. We will paint and decorate her room any way that she likes and then I shall want for nothing.

No, I am not relying on those things to get me through the next year. However, in my low moments I can think about them and it helps me feel better. Having a good attitude about this move is more than half the battle. Jack and I are leaning on each other and keeping up a brave front for the kiddos.

We’ve decided to get involved in a lot of things as soon as we can. Jack is going to join a sports team and I am going to join a gym. We also plan to travel around Ontario, get familiar with things, see the sights. Sitting around and thinking about what we left behind will only serve to make us miserable, so none of that.

I know things are slow here, I imagine they will stay that way for a little while as we get all settled in and sort ourselves out. I’m not ‘going on hiatus’ from the blog, simply posting less frequently for a while.

In the mean time, I found a really amusing blog called Steve, Don’t Eat It!* which is just like it sounds. A blog about a guy eating really gross stuff that he finds randomly at the grocery store (like pickled pigs skin). Sadly it hasn’t been updated since 2005 but what is there is good stuff, although gross.

*Todays post title provided by a quote from the website

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I’ve decided not to change my timestamp for this website, since doing so could potentially effect all past entries, changing the dates of any which were written close to midnight ‘Calgary Time’. It’s not all that important at any rate, since I can manually change the times of each post so that it reflects the ‘GTA Time’ at which it was written.

Just thought I’d let you know.

One of the odd things that have occurred to me with moving to a different time zone (I’m now two hours ahead of my previous time zone).

Also, it’s very humid here. I feel sticky and sweaty all the time, and not in the sexy way. Generally I love hot, humid weather. However, when it’s night time I like things to cool off. Dropping only 10 degrees from The Pit of Hell to The Sahara Desert does not constitute cooling off in my books. We don’t have air conditioning (yet!) and I am interested to see how long I can stand it before I start hallucinating and talking to my house plants as if they were dead relatives reincarnated as foliage.

It’s safe to say this blog is going to see a lot of posts like this over the next few months. I feel lonely and isolated already. Emotional turbulence to follow, in great gaping and shuddering amounts. Good times to be had.

Don’t worry, it’s not going to be that bad

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

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Here are a few photos from a recent trip out to Elbow River Falls. Jack took V and I there one evening after dinner. It was a lovely night as the three of us walked along the edge of the river (me snapping pictures, as always).

Click on any of the images below to see the full-sized photo. I’m glad to have these for the memories they represent. I’m still not sure how I am going to manage an entire year without my V…I get so sad when I think about it.

Right this minute I feel like making a picnic and going off somewhere beautiful to enjoy food and friends. It’s not possible at the moment, and I’ll admit I am allowing myself a moment to wallow in my grief. Mourning the loss of memories not yet made, fun not yet had, experiences not yet lived. There will be plenty of that on the other end of course, it’ll be slow for a while in the beginning. Making friends takes time and energy. I’ll have plenty of the former but I suspect the latter will be lacking.

In these moments I question if this was the right decision. Are we really doing the right thing? Am I going to be able to live with this long term? If we hate it we can come back, but to what? Jack will need to find a new job, I will have to find a new house as good as the current one and the one before that. Moving across the country costs a lot of money. We would have to hate it an awful lot.

It’s too late to turn back now, but I can’t stop myself from wondering what the hell it is we think we are doing. Is there such a thing as the ‘right’ thing?? A better question is ‘Was it the BEST thing?’

Time will tell I suppose. My heart is heavy, and it aches in my chest. My brain keeps repeating “This is a Good Thing. We are going to be happy. We are going to love Ontario”. The feelings part of me has a hard time believing it.

It’s sort of like poly in that way. My brain can accept Jack being with someone else…my heart and soul are a different matter. Why do things in life put my logic and my feelings at war with each other?

I need chocolate. I need my V. I need to not be crying.

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Before I launch into my blog post, I would like to direct your attention to this post, by my close friend and long-distance tease Padme. It reveals the naughty details of our recent web cam play time! Hot stuff, you’ll wanna read it

* * *

I haven’t been feeling myself lately.

This is evident in more ways that one, the least of which having absolutely no desire to blog or share my thoughts. Sometimes I just don’t have anything to say, even if there is much going on.

The source of this sensation has much to do with the current transition we are in. I generally deal well with change, but that doesn’t mean the effects of it aren’t felt on more subtle levels. I’m lethargic, disinterested, and somewhat mopey. The mere thought of the work ahead of us makes me want to crawl back under the covers in the morning, rather than bounce out of bed and face the day.

I’m not complaining mind you, it’s just a lot. I’m entitled to feeling overwhelmed.

I’ve been getting too much sleep, which leaves me feeling lazy and unmotivated. I believe this is directly related to not wanting to be awake and therefore thinking of all the things that need to be done.

There is also the sadness, which is not prevalent, but which plays on my mind none the less.

Soon this will all be in the past and life will resume some semblance of normal (albeit different) rhythm.

This too shall pass.

*Kevin Smith

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Click on any of the pictures to see larger versions. There is also a set available on my Flickr account containing additional photos.

I had the absolute best time of my life on vacation in Ontario. Jack and I decided that before the move it would be nice to get away from it all, let the kids have some time with family, and go on a holiday. I wanted him to show me around Ontario and the area where we will be living, as well as some of the sights around there, like Niagara Falls and Yonge Street in downtown Toronto. It was sort of planned last-minute, but I had such a wonderful time.

I arrived at the Toronto airport and Jack was there to meet me (he was out there already for some work-related reasons) and he looked so cute and excited when I came through the gate. I got a huge kiss and a hug, and then he led me out of the terminal to where he was parked. The first thing I noticed was the humidity, even so early in the morning it was hot and the air felt heavy and damp. I loved it, I adore the heat, I would live in Mexico year-round if I could!

We stopped by the hotel he was staying at, to drop off my luggage. We hardly got in the door before we were pawing each others clothes off and falling into bed together. After orgasms and a quick nap we got dressed and headed south, towards Niagara.

He took me through Hamilton, and then on a long drive through the country. We talked the whole way, enjoying each others company and the gorgeous scenery. After we arrived in Niagara Falls the first thing we noticed was all of the strip clubs. There were like three of them in a row, and then a ‘massage parlour’ that was obviously offering more than just a back rub to it’s male clientele. Apparently Niagara Falls draws a lot of perverted tourists from the US, where stripping is more strictly regulated. Who would have thought. We didn’t visit any of them but I had to laugh at how obvious they are, as opposed to clubs here which could pass for regular bars on the outside.

We parked near the falls and walked down the hill to get a closer look. I’d never been there before, although Jack has. It was…magnificent.

I took some video, and uploaded it to YouTube. I’ve never really tried that before, so forgive me for how short and unexciting they are.

We sauntered along the walk that runs along beside the falls. There weren’t too many people there, and the weather was gorgeous. We could feel the gentle spray from the water, and there were seagulls flying everywhere. I paused often along the railing to take photos. There was a beautiful rainbow, created by the bright sun and all of the water in the air. Jack and I held hands and he told me about visiting Niagara when he was younger. I loved every minute of being there with him. I am looking forward to taking a ride on the Maid Of The Mist, and seeing the falls at night when they are all lit up. I promise pictures from that, as well as some in the winter time when everything is partially frozen.

We went for lunch at this fantastic little out-of-the-way sushi place. It sort of looked like a dive from outside, but inside the decor was clean and simple. The sushi was fresh and delicious, made right there in front of you. I enjoyed it a great deal, very yummy.

Afterwards Jack took me on a tour of wine country. There were orchards and vineyards as far as you could see. It was amazing. I saw a lot of large wineries with familiar names, such as Jackson Triggs and Peller Estates. Jack promised we would take a wine tour sometime soon after we move. I actually did not like wine at all until I started dating Jack. He introduced me to different wines, and eventually got an idea of what I like (I prefer sweet white wines, and the occasional red that isn’t too dry).

Wine country is gorgeous, I think I might like to own a vineyard someday. As the sun went down, Jack took me for a walk along Lake Ontario. He held my hand and we stood on the rocky shore and looked out over the vast waters. You couldn’t see the other side, which is odd to me when it comes to a lake. The sunset was incredible, and it was quite romantic (even to someone as cynical as I am) to walk along, hand in hand.

We drove to Mississauga for a late supper at Milestone’s Bar And Grill. We shared a couple of glasses of delicious white wine from Peller Estates, and I had a dish which consisted of grilled salmon, the best grilled shrimp I’d ever tasted, fresh mango salsa, pineapple rice, and mixed veggies. It was on the expensive side, but totally worth it. For dessert we shared a piece of chocolate torte made with a crushed pecan crust. It was fantastic, made with bittersweet chocolate and served with a homemade caramel sauce.

The next day Jack drove us into downtown Toronto, to explore the city. We parked near the SkyDome (Rogers Center) and then made our way over to Yonge Street. He and I wandered our way down, looking at shops and watching people. It was SOOOOOOO hot! I was loving the weather.

Jack took me into Eaton Center to look around. WOW! What a very cool mall, there was so much to see there. I think we walked around for hours. Jack bought me a skirt at Old Navy, since it was too hot to wear much else. I can’t wait to take V shopping there once she moves!

Eventually we made our way back to the street and Jack took me to this park area with a fountain (see image and video below). We sat down and drank some water and enjoyed the sunshine. There were loads of pigeons (which I think are adorable) and seagulls everywhere. We decided that we were hungry and that it was time for some supper.

We went to a really awesome seafood restaurant called Lucy’s Kitchen. We ordered scallops wrapped in bacon and I had the most incredible salad, with calamari, scallops, and grilled shrimp. It was super tasty.

Another day was spent in the area we are moving to, just outside of Toronto. Jack showed me all around so that I would be able to find important things like the grocery store and the hospital. We had a really great lunch at Turtle Jack’s and then picked up some fresh fruit at the store for snacking on at the hotel.

One morning we went for Dim Sum at this really fantastic place in Mississauga. We sat in this big room and women came around pushing carts laden with steamer baskets and plates covered in tasty little nibbles. We had deep fried squid, shrimp balls, pork dumplings, and a number of other things (and I’m not sure what most of them were, LOL). I was interested to find out that Dim Sum is more of a breakfast thing for Chinese peoples. Not sure that I could handle eating so much meat first thing in the morning myself. It was very very good at any rate.

There were loads of huge black squirrels in Ontario. One climbed right up onto the balcony of the hotel. Jack kept making fun of me because I wanted to take pictures of them all the time, HA HA. I found them adorable.

The shopping out there is amazing. I cannot wait until I am finished my weight loss because I saw so many cute clothes! Wandering around the malls there is sort of like visiting West Edmonton Mall (minus the pool/hotel/amusement park). They have all the trendiest shops and they are way ahead of western Canada as far as styles go.

I got to see the house we bought. I love it more and more every time I see it. We are splurging on top of the line appliances again, since I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and enjoy cooking so much. People think we are crazy to have stainless steel appliances (because of the finger prints) but I think they look sleek and sexy, and it’s not that hard to just wipe them down whenever you notice prints on them.

The only think I am not going to have in the new house that I have here is a gigantic bathtub. We are still getting a large, corner, jetted tub so it’s not like I am getting stuck with a regular tub. However, our current bathtub is large enough to hold a small cow. It empties our entire hot water tank (just running the water hot, no cold until the hot water runs out) just getting it half-full. That’s actually a good thing since once you get two people in there the water level is just right.

On one sunny afternoon Jack drove me the length of the beach near downtown Toronto. There were many sailboats out on the water, and people were all over the beach, sunning and roller blading. My tan got even better while I was there. It was sunny and hot the entire time. Even the one afternoon that it rained, it was still humid and warm outside. The rain was even warm! Jack told me that he intends to make love to me outside in the rain at the first opportunity. Naturally that made me quiver with anticipation.

So many wonderful memories were made during my time there. I really cannot wait to be moved out there, I know we are going to enjoy the area and all of the interesting things to see and do. Jack has promised to buy me a new mountain bike so that I can ride all over the city. It will be a good way to learn where things are, and fabulous exercise for me! I want to get one of those chariots for pulling behind, so I can take the kids with me, and also for picking up fresh fruit and vegetables at the farmers market on Saturdays.

I had a wonderful weekend/week and I’ve returned feeling refreshed and excited. I’ve also lost 10 pounds since I started my diet/exercise plan! Many people have already commented about how good I am looking, and it makes me feel sooooooo good.

I don’t think I’ve been this happy before. Sure I have a few moments of sadness here and there, but all in all, it just doesn’t get any better than this.

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Some weeks ago I had a moment with myself concerning our relocation to Toronto.

By having a moment I mean I got angry. Really angry and upset and bitter.

The idea of the move made me recoil with sadness and irritation. I thought about how unfair it all is, how cruel and inconsiderate life is being. I cursed the company that Jack is working for, I bitched internally over the fact that it couldn’t have happened here in Alberta.

Why Toronto? Why so far away from family and friends and everything familiar?

Please understand that I know what a really fantastic opportunity this is for us. I know that this move is the right thing for us, a wonderful chance to see more of our country and to get to know new people and places. In my soul I know that we are making the very best choice.

Sometimes choices are painful. Even though I had a moment of significant resentment and disappointment, I still know that we are going to be very happy in our new province, community, and house.

Permit me to have the odd temper tantrum if you will.

Despite how much I am looking forward to moving, I am still grieving the loss of people and places that I love. Letting go of my closest friends, all of my family, my dream house, the plans I had for the future…it hurts deeply.

Instead of jumping up and down and screaming I had a nice long shower, where I cried and cried, until there were no tears or sadness left in me. It all washed down the drain like so much soap and water. I felt better afterwards, and I still do.

As I looked out of the plane window on my way back home, it occurred to me that soon home will be in the other direction and I will just be going for a visit the next time I travel this way. My heart is a little sad, but we’ll make it. As long as I have Jack, my children, and eventually my best friend, I can make it anywhere.

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