Stiletto Diaries

So I’m Easy. Is There Really Any Virtue In Being Difficult?

ONOZ!I’ve never been a big believer in fate or destiny. I prefer the idea that I control my own life, direction, and future. However, I have to admit that I feel something larger than our own choice brought us out to Ontario. I just got a strange sense that this is where we were meant to be, and that the experience is serving some purpose in my life.

Very recently, Jack was offered the opportunity to take a job back in Calgary. Our move would be paid for, other costs of such a transition covered, and the assurance of a position for him upon our…um, re-arrival.

There would be a cost of course. The job in question would be less stable (read could be eliminated within the next couple of years). There would be a pay cut, and little to no opportunity for advancement. We would also have to give up the magnificent house we have here, and the eldest child would have to switch schools mid-year.

However, as Jack pointed out, this will likely be our only opportunity to go back in this fashion (with everything paid and a job at the other end).

You have no idea how badly a part of me wants to say yes. I miss Alberta; I miss my friends, my family, and the luxury of having a night away from the kids with my husband. When I think about the people we left behind…I just want to start packing boxes and booking plane tickets.

There is a larger part of me that knows that wouldn’t be the best choice. We are just beginning to get established here. There are so many things we have yet to see and do. Jack is going to take me to Ottawa and Montreal this year. We want to go camping up in the northern part of the province, and then there is the fact that V is getting geared up to move out here with us. Yes, if we moved back, she would be nice and close again, but not in the same house.

I just don’t think the time is right for us to leave Ontario.

*James P. Blaylock

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  1. padme amidala Said,

    Good morning Shasta,
    I can imagine that was a real shock to find out about the offer in Alberta and how tempting that must be for you. I can also understand how stressful that kind of move back would be with having to give up the new house and adjusting to the new area and new friends and that.
    Ottawa and Montreal sound great! I have heard so much about those places from my sister. I hope you have a chance to explore them. :)
    I hope one day to come see Ontario and be able to visit you. :)
    padme amidala

  2. Chelsea Said,

    When J. told me that he was offered the position, my heart screamed that I hoped he didn’t take it. I couldn’t figure it out, I miss the man like crazy, early morning breakfasts and late night movies we hardly watch because we talk over them.
    But some things are just sort of meant to be, whether through our own decisions or through “fate”. There’s something about you two being out there that is right. I know you are both excited for it and it’s given your oppourtunity to explore.
    You made the right decision, I know it! However hard, you have people who support you (and miss you) from 3000km away :D

  3. Black Anubis Said,

    Hi Shasta,

    Been quietly absorbing your blog for a while now (Especially like the toy reviews!)
    I sort of sympathize… I’ve just moved back to the US from New Zealand and am now trying to start up a new life here on Whidbey Island just north of Seattle in Washington.
    Its been a difficult move, not the least because of pressure from my family not to move and to stay near them, but there was no future happening there and I was getting kinda unhappy.
    So took the big leap and have made the move and though I miss family and friends, and things are not easy getting set up here, (still waiting on a house), I think it will all be for the better.
    I think the decision on making a big move really depends on how happy you will be at the end of it all.
    Keep up the good work on the blog though, I really enjoy reading it and have shown your blog & reviews to several of my friends.

  4. Esined Said,

    Ahhh you gotta give me a heads up when u do visit my town :) I hope I can meet ya and Jack.

    I am kinda feeling like heading back to my village, missing family soo much and just feeling so lonley here without my gf’s.


  5. madambutterfly Said,

    I would stay put. Yes, the distance is hard and the time of the offer worse. Having just lost a relative going back home is looking better than it would at another time. The key part is that the job back home is not stable and could be lost at any time. I lived this decision many years ago. We decided to moved back home, hubby moving while I sold the house, and my husband’s company went under the week we sold our house. We were told that the rumors that it had problems were not true by officers in the company. Yes, going home to grandparents has its benefits. But in the long run the job market here has less opportunities for him and it has been hard. I am doing well now, but I am making the money I would have made in the state we moved from years ago. But he has struggled at various other jobs since. Enjoy ,
    your new life and just save up for some visits home. It is much cheaper in the long run … and you will be happier even if it is hard to see this choice in that light now.. Take care, Hugs,

  6. nia Said,

    shasta and jack;
    i hope you’re both feeling more than okay about the decision to stay; you’ve brought so much to our city already, and hopefully you’re gonna get as much back both short and long-term.

    lemme know if you need another night out together and i’m happy to help make it happen :)


  7. Adam Said,

    My wife and I ended up in the city everybody wants to come visit and it happened completely by accident. But ever since we made the move, it’s felt correct. We’re so at home here.

    The first part of moving is hard. But the future is hard to put your finger on. It sounds like this offer has little future, so maybe not the best bet. If you are to go back, that’ll feel right at the time, too.

    I’ve always considered a move to be a chance to add to what I’ve already got, not a loss of anything. True friends and family are yours forever, distance doesn’t take them away. And while you do miss them, you have new places and people to share with the old friends and family when you are together again.

    And when it comes right down to it, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. It sounds like the bird you have is pretty good!

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