So Tired I Can Smell Colors

Posted on December 12th, 2008 in Budge That Pudge, Emotional Angst

My Christmas spirit has been decidedly absent this year, and I’m not entirely sure why.
I grudgingly sent out some Christmas cards.  Only 1/3 of the number I sent last year.  Our tree is up and decorated, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten with trimmings.  My Christmas shopping is not done.  I just feel…lost, and [...]

Published by Shasta // 1 Comment »

I Like Boys Who Play The Guitar, And Pray

Posted on June 3rd, 2008 in Emotional Angst, Mating And Relating, Polyamory

Stupid boys with their stupid boy penises!
I’ve been flipping back and forth between angst and contentment when it comes to Varick.  Basically it seems that I feel content when I talk to him, and then angsty when I talk to Deja.  I adore her, and she’s a good friend to me.  She only wants both [...]

Published by Shasta // 8 Comments »

You’re My Favorite, Don’t Tell The Others

Posted on June 2nd, 2008 in Bucket List, Carnal Confessions, Does All Her Own Stunts, Emotional Angst, Ethics And Morality, Made In Ontario, Mating And Relating, Polyamory, Reading Is Sexy, Resources And Links, Tie Me Up

After the interesting adventure that was Friday night, I was really looking forward to Saturday afternoon and spending some more time with Varick.
I arrived at Deja’s before he did, which gave her and I some time to talk. I filled her in on the incident with the police officer and she had a good giggle [...]

Published by Shasta // 5 Comments »

A Little Slab Of Guilt?

Posted on May 30th, 2008 in Emotional Angst, Mating And Relating, Polyamory, Tie Me Up

The thoughts have begun creeping in already.  Perhaps the nature of our interaction set them off prematurely.  I wasn’t prepared for them to be making an entrance already, and I’ll admit I’m caught off guard.
Is Varick relationship material?  Does he see me as relationship material?  Do I really want to go another round with someone [...]

Published by Shasta // 6 Comments »

Now Hold Onto Me Pretty Baby, If You Wanna Fly

Posted on May 18th, 2008 in Emotional Angst

It often happens when people move, that they find themselves gradually unpacking for perhaps years after they initially get settled in.  Yes, we’re still at it.
Today I decided to crack open one box that I haven’t looked inside since I was a girl.  It collected dust at my mum’s place after I left home, and [...]

Published by Shasta // 2 Comments »

It’s Just Another Phase That I’ll Go Through

Posted on May 5th, 2008 in Emotional Angst, Mating And Relating, Polyamory

During a late-night conversation, Nelek and I came to something of a crossroads in our ‘relationship’.  Long after we had said goodnight I lay awake, pondering the direction I’ve been going in terms of polyamory and dating.
“You have feelings for me” he stated, without any uncertainty at all.
“What makes you say that?” I inquired, honestly [...]

Published by Shasta // 7 Comments »

Relationship Destroyer Battleship

Posted on April 21st, 2008 in This And That

I’m certain my cryptic post late last night has caused some confusion, and certainly inspired some concerned messages and e-mails today.
Please know that I am ok, although angry, and feeling a little foolish.
K and I had a falling out.  The last one we will ever have I am sure, since I’ve decided that giving him [...]

Published by Shasta // 6 Comments »

Happeh…Ur Doin It Wrong

Posted on April 17th, 2008 in Emotional Angst

First of all, thank you so much for all of the awesome comments you left me yesterday.  I really enjoyed the feedback on the new site, and I’m very pleased that everyone seems to approve!  I’ve got gift packs on the go, and if I haven’t gotten your address yet, please e-mail it to me!
As [...]

Published by Shasta // 7 Comments »


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