Raw Foods - Day Nine

Posted on February 9th, 2009 in Budge That Pudge, Emotional Angst

I’m having a difficult time today.

I feel resentful and deprived.  I wish that I’d not committed to going quite so raw.  I wish that I’d built in an allowance for even one cup of coffee a day.  If not the coffee, then maybe one cooked thing a week.

Why don’t I just go ahead and change the rules, you might wonder?  It is MY thing after all.  There aren’t any rules that I’ve not created on my own.  No strict guidelines that must be adhered to.

Something in me just won’t let me go changing my plan now.  I feel like if I do that, I’ll be a failure at this.

V seems to be adapting with ease, which makes me glad for her.  It also makes me feel that I’m weak, or that there is something wrong with me.  I feel like I should be able to breeze through this.  It’s only a month, after all.  How hard should it really be?

Jack has mentioned that I seem less happy.  V has made the same observation.  I know that it’s true.  Part of it can be chalked up to the flu, which has now transformed into a sinus infection.  Still, I know that I’m touchier than normal.  Less inclined to laugh.  Moodier.  Not my usual self by any stretch.

One one hand, I think I need to cut myself some slack.  I don’t want anyone to think that going raw overnight is supposed to be simple, or comfortable.  I never thought that this would be a walk in the park.  On the other hand, I don’t think that it’s healthy to become so miserable over a state of perceived ‘depravation’.

As Jack points out, I can quit any time that I want to.  Except that I can’t, because I’m too stubborn.  I can’t even give myself permission to have a cup of tea, because although most raw foodists still drink tea, or even coffee, I’ve decided to set a standard for myself that I now resent.

I don’t want to change the rules part way, just to make myself more comfortable.  It’s like I’m trying to punish myself.  It would seem that I feel this entire month should be a process of suffering, and that I shouldn’t make any exceptions to make it all a little more bearable.  WTF?

I really don’t want to go through the next three weeks by gritting my teeth and forcing myself to endure it.  I either need to find a way to embrace this raw foods thing, or I need to allow myself to make a few adjustments for my own mental health.

Published by Shasta

7 Responses to “Raw Foods - Day Nine”

  1. tonya cinnamonNo Gravatar Says:

    so dont quit do allow yourself 1 cup of tea or coffee at the end of the week. cause when you do off the diet and start back on foods and stuff again it will be a shock to your body. this way you can ease back in to it and not feel like a failure. im proud of you.your not a failure no matter what. try adding a variety of spices to things or lkemon juice or even honey if allowed..
    plus if your sick your body does need some nourisment and not just antibotics.
    hugs you

    [Reply To The Above Comment]

    ShastaNo Gravatar reply on February 10th, 2009 3:48 pm:

    Thank you for the encouragement :) You’re so very sweet!

    You’re certainly right about the shock thing. We plan to go back on cooked foods very gradually.

    I really appreciate the comment.


    [Reply To The Above Comment]

  2. EsinedNo Gravatar Says:

    You should always leave room to breath and reward yourself with something. EVen as simple as a cup of cofee or tea if it makes you feel better.

    What Tonya said about the shock to your body is right. I went vegetarian and I gotta warn you, when I stopped going vegetarian once up north (veggies are not fresh and its expensive) I went back to eating worse than before. SO make a plan after you are done this strict regimen so you don’t backslide into old bad habits.

    Don’t be hard on yourself, and don’t compare yourself to another. I admire your commitment to this. If I followed what you did… I’d probably have given up after being sick.

    [Reply To The Above Comment]

    ShastaNo Gravatar reply on February 10th, 2009 3:50 pm:

    We plan to ease back into the healthy eating structure that we were following before the raw foods. I am sure that I’ll never go back to eating junk. I love how healthy I feel when I eat right :)

    Thank you for your friendship and encouragement. It means so much to me to have such a great little group of commenters, especially when I feel down or frustrated.

    I’m still hammering out how I will work on making this diet go more smoothly, but I feel more validated now, thanks to you and the others.


    [Reply To The Above Comment]

  3. Jezebel VonTizzleNo Gravatar Says:

    I agree, breathing room is very important! and there are very few raw foodists that are super super strict. Head up, you’ll make it, just dont sacrifice your mental health or its counter productive.

    [Reply To The Above Comment]

    ShastaNo Gravatar reply on February 10th, 2009 3:51 pm:

    Amen to that!

    I am beginning to discover what you said about raw foodists. Many of them still drink coffee or eat the odd cooked thing. Most of them aim for 90-98% raw, which leaves some wiggle room.


    [Reply To The Above Comment]

  4. ShayNo Gravatar Says:

    Oh man, I don’t think I could do a raw foods diet. I’m just not a diet girl - I would rather kill myself at the gym every night and eat whatever I want (within reason)!

    [Reply To The Above Comment]

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