Stiletto Diaries

Since tomorrow is my 25th Birthday, I decided to put up a little Amazon wish list I made, mostly for myself, to keep track of the books I want to buy. Since I am not actually expecting anyone to buy me anything off of it, I don’t have a shipping address associated with it (also privacy reasons). However, if you REALLY wanna send me something (particularly my real life friends that read here and maybe feel sorry for how sad and pathetic I am without you) just send me an e-mail and I will provide it for you.

My Wish List

I didn’t manage to round up any exciting plans for the weekend. It’s going to be a low-key family weekend. Jack and the kids and I will likely go for dinner tomorrow night. He’s also offered to take me furniture shopping (we need a new coffee table, and a desk for the office) which will be pretty alright. I may escape for some time to myself, go to Starbucks and have a latte and read a little.

Since I’m obviously suffering some karmic retribution, my period also decided to arrive today, 2 days earlier than scheduled, just to make sure I have no naughty fun during my weekend. Hooray! No, it’s not just because I find sex on my period icky, but menstruation kills my sex drive and also makes my entire pelvic region act all weird. Not at all conducive to good sex.

Things haven’t been ALL bad. A few days ago I received my first (and thus far, only) birthday gift in the mail. Padme, the little sweetie, sent me a really nice card and a gift certificate for Starbucks! I was so touched when I found it in my mailbox, she’s so thoughtful. I’m thinking I’ll use it to get myself a pretty travel mug or coffee cup, to remind me of her always. She had me smiling all day!

She also sent me a really gorgeous faerie postcard that says “Wish You Were Here” on the front. I know she has been making a real effort to cheer me up for my Birthday, and to show me that people are thinking of me. Anyone can send an e-card, and I appreciate those as well, but getting something in the mail is just so special and exciting. I put the card on my fridge and I smile every time I see it.

Also this week tickets for V’s visit in October were arranged. I’m greatly looking forward to that. Since I’m such a planner I’ve already been debating what sorts of places I want to show her and things we can do.

Birthdays are generally a time when I do a bit of reflecting, and also decide on what I want to change or do over the next year, so probably some of that will be showing up here in the next few days.

I hope everyone who gets one, enjoys the long weekend. Party lots for me and then on Tuesday you can all come and entertain me with stories of sex and wild times.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about personal strength and being a woman.

Before I get rolling on this let me say first that I do not really consider myself a feminist, nor have I ever claimed to be one. I’m not trying to say “Hooray for women, we are so great”. I’ve never been able to identify with the feminist label, nor have I done a lot of research into what being a feminist entails. What I do know is that save for a select few, I have strongly disliked most of the women I’ve met who claim to be feminists, mainly due to their tendency to be victims of their life. Also, even though they claim to want equality, most of them seem to harbour a smug superiority complex towards men, which I find revolting.

That aside, what makes for a strong woman?

Many people have commented to me that they are inspired by my personal strength. While I find this highly flattering, it got me to wondering what it is about me that they perceive as strong?

Don’t worry, this post isn’t going to be of the “Yay Me!” variety.

Foremost I believe that strong women refuse to play the victim role in their lives, no matter what the circumstances. Even if they actually WERE a victim, suppose of a rape, they refuse to let that define them, or to control them forever after. The strong women I know tend to be independent (yet still vulnerable) with a solid self image and a clear sense of who they are. Well, as clear as any of us can get, LOL. They do not feed into co-dependant relationships, or allow themselves to stay in situations which force them to compromise excessively.

Generally speaking they seem to live their lives to the fullest they know how. Doing the things that bring them joy and fulfillment without trampling others in the process. They create friendships and connections that are genuine, honest, and open. A strong woman will be upfront with you when you have pissed her off. Rather than avoiding the situation or pushing it aside in order to prevent conflict. She will address the situation at hand, speaking her truth while being accountable for her own experience.

I’m really getting so tired of women who settle for less than complete happiness in life and in relationships. It’s not impossible or unrealistic, and I find it sad and pathetic that any person (man or woman) would rather sit in their own shit, instead of getting up and doing something about it. Why sell yourself short? Don’t you think you deserve the most out of life? Stop letting your partner, your family, or your friends convince you that you can’t do it on your own. Don’t let them tell you that you aren’t capable of doing anything you want to do.

A lot of what drives us to settle or not to strive harder to get what we want is fear. We all get scared sometimes, and if anyone tries to tell you different they are either full of shit, or delusional. Fear doesn’t need to control you however. You know what my motto is?

Fear is the opportunity to be courageous.

It really is you know. Being afraid of something is the perfect reason to tough it out. Stand up, show your strength. Why do you think I get pretty much everything I want in life? Believe me, I do, but not through questionable means. People tell me all the time that they have never seen me fail at anything I have put my mind to. I can be terrified, which I know means I’ll feel totally awesome when I come out the other side successful. What an awesome way to live, don’t ya think?

Of course just resigning yourself to mediocrity is less work. FAR less. You’d best stay on the porch if you’re not up for a lot of pain and ugliness. Getting the most out of life isn’t easy, but then again, nothing worth doing is. Knowing that is part of what makes a woman (or man for that matter) strong.

You all know I get scared. You know I fall and doubt myself and cry and scream and rage. I want to give up sometimes, more often than I care to admit. Maybe the fact that I never do, the fact that no matter how down I am I always get back up, is why people remark on how strong I am.

Maybe it’s all an act right? I am sure people think that, but you can’t fake real strength for long. You’ll crack under the pressure if you’re all talk and no walk. Real strength, the kind that comes from deep inside you, can’t be pretend. You’ve gotta really believe it, and yourself..

Strong women are not manipulative, nor will they be pushed around. They will gracefully admit to being wrong, while fiercely defending what they feel to be right. Most of them are protective of the people they love and will not shy away from emotional situations. They speak their mind without being arrogant or overbearing.

Being strong doesn’t mean being pushy or insisting on having your way. It also doesn’t mean being cruel, proud (in the negative sense) or haughty. Be proud of yourself, and who you are, but don’t be a braggart or a snit. Strength comes not from a sense of superiority, but from fairness and equality when dealing with other people. Really strong people don’t feel the need to prove themselves, ever, to anyone. They are comfortable and confident with themselves, regardless of the opinions of others.

I know that I am not always everything I’ve discussed here. I don’t think any of us are. People tell me that I am strong and instead of shrugging it off or trying to be modest, I say “Thank You” because I know that it’s true. I AM a strong woman, and I won’t pretend to be otherwise to avoid making people uncomfortable.

I’m really proud to be who I am, and I embrace myself, warts and all. What I don’t like, I’m working on turning around, without blaming my shit on anyone else. The only person who can make or break my life is ME.

My wish is that all of the awesome women (and men) I know will be able to say those words and really mean it, to the depth of their soul. I know I do, do you?

*Charles Stross

Thanks to everyone who has voted so far on this post. Also, to the sweet women who offered their thoughts on the situation. I thought I’d share the outcome of our discussion and what we have decided to do so that we are both happy.

Jack generously offered to take off all three days of V’s visit. He’ll just take one day off for the first day of Luke’s school, which will still give him 4 days off in a row due to the long weekend coming up. He also has two other weeks off coming up before Christmas.

He really wants to spend some time with V too. He knows that if she and I are with kids all day the first thing we are going to do when he gets home from work is get the hell out of the house! So V and I are going to run feral in the wilds of Toronto from Thursday to Sunday, and then on Monday all of us (kids included) are going to spend a family day together.

Since he’s being SOOOOOOOOO sweet, I told Jack to go ahead and order the premium sports package for cable that he mentioned recently. He’s quite pleased about that, and we both feel like we are getting a good deal out of this whole agreement.

I have the most wonderful and thoughtful husband ever. I am so lucky, and not just because he lets me have my way most of the time.

Just to be extra appreciative, I gave him a long, relaxing blow job last night before bed. I think he’s pretty content now with giving up some days off in September.

*Steven Meretzky

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #95? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Fisted, first.

“And it was lovely, because the movements made by his fist inside me were so different to a cock.”

The Razor, the Tape and the Man

“He’s never known this lack of control, this unstoppable surge of orgasm, this wave of ecstasy soldiers crossing his territory.”

Sex Work And Religion: Monotone Man

“Religion comes up during calls more than I anticipated when I started doing sex work.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Masterlock Street Cuffs

Editor’s Choice

Watching my girl’s caning

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Butch/Femme, Spanking and Team Gina, Oh My!

“If you jump into bed on a first date, it’s already over” and other Myths

Normal.

Or, When Fantasy Ruins Your Love Life

Sex in the possibly public square

The Storm Cone

When trust faltered…

Sex News & Reviews

Sex Blogger Cocktail Party In Toronto

Sex Toy Review: njoy Butt Plug

Wet vs. dry rub

BDSM & Fetish

The Blindfold

Dinner Party

Happy HNT - Subspace bondage

I’m Not Ready To Play Nice….

Manless

New Store!!! New Videos!!! New Look!!!

Posting tipsy

Social Kink Interviews Steve Diet Goedde

Trashy kisses

Weekend With CD Part I (Figging LFM)

Sex Poetry

Beauty mark

Mischief

NSFW Pics & Videos

Catalina loves To Take Pictures

Gabriella (Gallery Carre)

Jessica Beil Topless

A Reflective Half-Nekkid Thursday

Sandra Shine Nude

Valentina is a goldpiece

WebMistress Feature Gallery: Sultry Striptease

Sex & Politics

We Support the Human Rights Campaign

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Bubble Bath

Cadillac Confessions Vol. 1

Caught Between A Rock And A Hard On! - Part 1

Chatting

Every Six Seconds…#2

No reservations, part 2

Our holiday - part one

Party

Sexytime

Siesta

Sex from the Rooftops

Speaking of Porn Stars….

Sunshine On Naked Skin

That Makes Two

Wanking this weekend?

Warm Wet Velvet

We sleeping wake, and waking sleep

Edit: You may have noticed the title change on this post. When I have posts sitting in draft, I generally assign them an arbitrary title until I post them. I put this one up so late last night that I forgot to insert the new title I wanted to use, LOL. Just wanted to avoid any confusion about it.

Most people here know that I am currently working at losing weight and getting fitter. Over the past three months I’ve dropped 20 pounds and I am feelin hotter than I have in ages. I wanted to share some of joy and success here with you.

Am I the thinnest or healthiest I’ve ever been? Hell no. Then again, 95% of what makes a woman sexy is confidence, the courage to be herself, and her attitude about HERSELF in general. Believe me ladies, no guy ever wants to listen to you gripe about your weight, your skin, your cellulite, or any other self image issue you have. As much as they might love you, the only person who can fix it is YOU!

I’ve not had an easy time losing the weight thus far. Jack is a notorious snacker, and my kids have to have access to a lot of things I can’t eat (no, not junk, but a lot of starches like corn, potatoes, and pasta) They need full-fat foods since they are still growing and very active, unlike their mum, LOL. That means I have food right in my face that I love but I can’t have. Guess what? I didn’t bitch and gripe about it, since it’s not THEIR fault their mother/wife has an issue with food. Why do you need to punish everyone around you just because you want to eat like a piggy? I don’t believe in that. I believe in being in control of my life and what I put in my mouth (don’t get pervy on me here).

The keys to success at weight loss are simple, at least the ones I use:

A) Put junk food into perspective. It was not designed to be eaten all the time. I still eat junk food, ice cream, chocolate, deep fried anything, etc and yet I still manage to lose weight. The trick is not to tell yourself that you can never eat those things again, it’s to tell yourself you can only eat them in moderation. If you have a chocolate habit, allow yourself one small piece of chocolate per day. The 80 or so calories will NOT kill you, or make you get fat. If you love fried food, once a week eat as much of it as you want in one sitting. Had a really crap day? Go ahead and have a piece of cheesecake or a fudge sundae. That’s my way of thinking. I don’t feel deprived, I know I can eat any old thing I want as long as I keep it in moderation! Let’s say I want to go out for dinner this week someplace I really love. I will set that meal up as my big splurge and eat really responsibly the rest of the week (both before and after). During that meal I give myself permission to have anything I want, without guilt, because I know I am making really healthy choices for all of the other 20 meals I had that week. I lose weight this way, and I don’t have to be obsessing over all the things I’m ‘not supposed to have’. Deprivation (either perceived or real) is the fastest way to fail.

B) I eat all the vegetables I want, whenever I want. I hate diets that try to restrict you down to very specific amounts of everything. Never restrict your veggies, eat as many as you possibly can, and eat them raw or cooked with little to no fat. I eat lots and lots of fresh cucumber, yellow and orange peppers, tomatoes, and greens. The only vegetables I restrict are corn, potatoes, and beans/legumes due to the high starch content. Otherwise I eat as much as I please.

C) Starches and carbs are not your enemy. They are vital to your survival. Go ahead and eat 1 or 2 starches per day, just make them Smart-Starches. Whole grain breads, whole wheat tortillas, garbanzo beans, black beans, corn, wild rice. All of those are great dietary options, and you can enjoy them without the guilt because they are good for you! Moderation remember, you don’t need to eat 5 servings a day. Repeat after me: Two Will Do. That is my motto on starches and carbs.

D) Protein is good. You need to have some with every meal. I eat three servings of lean protein a day. Cut back or cut out red meat and pork. Eat more fish and seafood. Chose white meat chicken, and start eating turkey! I really love buying turkey cutlets at the grocery store and grilling them. Or I cut them up and make a little stir fry with some bok choy and bamboo shoots. Yum!

E) Fresh fruit is awesome. Eat it, twice a day, and I make sure I’ve had both servings before supper time. Apples, peaches, grapes, you name it. If you really feel you can’t manage that, have some fruit juice. Make sure it’s 100% real juice though, made from concentrate is OK but fresh squeezed is better. Buy juice that has to be refrigerated, that’s your best bet to avoid preservatives and added junk. I often have a cup of juice in the morning with breakfast, especially if I am on the go.

F) Dairy is good, especially for your bones. I have two servings a day, optimally one for breakfast and one for lunch. I drink 1% milk, because skim is icky, and I buy light cheeses to add to wraps or other dishes. Although I don’t quibble too much over reduced fat dairy, since I don’t eat a ton of it and for the most part it’s the healthy kind of fats. No processed cheese!

G) To make it really simple, go out and buy yourself a plate that looks like this. For breakfast just imagine it’s divided into four and put one serving of each food group on it. For lunch I fill a small section with protein, the other with a starch and the remaining half with vegetables. For supper have a small section of protein and the rest should be veggies. That’s just how I work it but you can mix it up. Basically I try to stick to the formula that supper should be the lightest meal of the day, consisting of only veggies and protein.

H) Drink your WATER! I cannot stress this enough! I easily retain 5 or 6 pounds of water alone when I am not getting in 64 oz per day. If you have a hard time drinking water get some Crystal Light. I prefer to add lemon myself. Make a point if drinking at least 16 oz of water per meal, and then add in the other two whenever is most convenient. DRINK YOUR WATER!!!

I) Reward yourself, but not with food. I generally set up big rewards at regular intervals (lets say for every 10 or 20 pounds you lose). Treat yourself to a day at the spa, a new set of gel nails, having your hair done or colored, a night out, or whatever it is you have been wanting and felt you didn’t deserve. Clothes are also awesome, a new outfit to show of the awesome new body, or fun accessories to go with stuff you already have. Make it be just for you, spoil yourself a little. Avoid putting a tight time-frame on when you have to reach these goals. That way, if you don’t make it to the goal in time you don’t feel frustrated and disappointed with yourself, which will cause you to back-slide. Losing weight takes a LOT of time. Have some patience. I also like to reward myself for other healthy lifestyle changes. Say if you consistently go to the gym, three times a week, never missing a week or going less than three times. Reward yourself at the end of each month you do that. Get yourself a new purse, a book you’ve been wanting, or a coffee date with your best friend. Do something nice for you when you are sticking to your schedule!

J) Keep a food journal, or just a weight loss journal in general, or both! I write down every single thing I eat, every single day. This creates accountability, for me, your mileage may vary. I also track my water per day, and any extras I’ve had (like coffee or a treat). Having a written record will also help you identify areas you need to work on. Maybe you’re not getting enough fruit, or skipping meals, or having too many ‘treats’. Keeping a journal or blog to talk about your feelings or struggles you are having encourages success. You can also use it to write down rewards for yourself, short and long-term goals, and any other healthy living stuff you may want to remember. I also use mine for those great recipes you cut out of a magazine and may never look at again. There are lots of possibilities.

So, those are the 10 things I do in order to lose weight. I know it seems like a lot at first, but I wrote it all from having ingrained it into my lifestyle over the past three months. Eventually, you’ll just ‘know’ and you won’t have to be reading or focusing on your weight all the time. Hopefully I’ve inspired some of you! I know a number of my blog friends are working on weight issues right now so I wanted to post some help and encouragement for them.

Keep at it gals (and guys) because we’re all in this together. I’m pullin for ya! We can do it!

I’m having a bit of a discussion in my head, and with Jack, and so I wanted to put it out here for a little talk amongst all us blogger peoples. Please understand that I am not upset with Jack, nor trying to attack him here. I am just looking for a little perspective on the situation at hand

First off, Jack gets a fair number of vacation days during the year. So far this year some of them have already been devoted to move stuff. He still has quite a number of them left and now there is some discussion as to what to use them for.

Exhibit A:

V is coming out here for 5 days in October, to join me for The Sex Show. We are both really pumped about this since I will not have seen her for some time by then, and won’t see here again after that until early January most likely. We are obvioulsy going crazy missing each other (observe the comments).

Exhibit B:

Jack was planning to take a week off in September, since our eldest starts school and since his job has been psychotic all summer, learning all the new stuff, it would be a nice break for him. I know he’s been really needing some time off to relax a bit and the next opportunity to do so is some months away (in November).

The other day I mentioned to Jack that maybe he could move three of those Septemeber vacation days that he had planned to take, and use them while V is here. My thinking on this is that her and I will have been seperated for about 3 months by then and I’d prefer not to spend all of her time here with kids in tow. Yes we will have Saturday and Sunday, but that’s not a lot when you haven’t seen someone in ages and there are a lot of things you want to show them. Jack also works LONG hours and gets up at the crack of dawn, so her and I might have 4 hours to ourselves late in the evenings, and then have to go to bed so that I could function as a parent the next day. It would be so nice to have Jay home to watch the kids, just for those days, so that I could take V all over Toronto and we could have some fun together. Besides, being a mom means no vacation days for me! Plus I can’t call in sick, ever!

His side is that he was really looking forward to a week off here at the end of the summer. I can understand that, and I do feel pretty bad about asking him to give that up. I would never have mentioned it if it wasn’t really important to me that I have some time with my friend, and a break for myself! Jack works so hard, busts his ass for us so that we can have everything we want. I mean it, he rarely says no to me if I want something. He spoils me rotten, and I know what a very lucky woman I am to have him.

So, to make it easier to get opinions I am putting it to a poll. Feel free to comment if you wish to expand on your opinion or offer us any suggestions on how to make it work so that we both get what we want!

My darling reader Esined has treated us to the second part of a hot little story she has written. Feedback in the comments section is appreciated. Chapter One can be found here. Enjoy!

Kainny woke up shivering and noticed the sun was lower and she was in the shade. The breeze was making her bare skin cold. She put her clothes back on and went out to explore further to find food. Her stomach was growling loudly and she was feeling weak from not eating since the day before. It made her dizzy. She smelled smoke and came to a small clearing in the woods. The lack of food and probably being in the sun made her feel faint and before she could fight it, the world went dark again.

When she came to, she noticed she was naked and her hands were tied above her head, sitting in a swing with her legs apart. The swing made some movement possible, but not enough to escape. She looked around and saw she was in some kind of hut with a fire glowing in a small clay fireplace. Rarab meat was being grilled over the fire and giving off a wonderful scent that made Kainny stomach growl. Too hungry to care what kind of predicament she was in, she called out. “Hello!? Is anyone out there?”

She looked to the door of the hut that was covered with a colorful cloth and saw a shadow moving in front of it. She recognized the shape of the shadow, Mithra! She sighed in relief seeing a familiar person and not some monster. The Mithra came in and went straight to the fireplace and took the food and put it in a clay bowl. Kainny observed this Mithra and noticed how beautiful she was. Her fur was a light color of mocha and her hair was a striking color of bright red, brighter that on any other Mithra she ever saw. She had seen several redhead Mithra’s in Jeuno, but their coloring was leaning more towards auburn and warm brown tones. Her eyes were beautiful also, as blue as the water from the beach, bright and shiny, like jewels.

Her attire was unlike the Mithra attire she was used to seeing in Jeuno or even Kazam. It looked more primitive, skins and fur, most likely from the animals in the Jungle. Kainny asked, “Where am I?” The Mithra just stared at her but did not answer. She came over with the bowl of meat, and Kainny noticed that she must have prepared it while Kainny was busy looking at her. The Mithra started feeding her and Kainny out of hunger ate greedily.

She noticed that the Mithra was also observing her and somehow begun to feel aroused by being under this wild cat’s scrutiny. This feline was looking at her all over. Looking at her eyes, her lips as she took the food into her mouth, to her breasts, her smooth belly and finally down to her center, which was exposed by having her legs spread apart. She seemed more curious of that area than any other. The feline then returned to the table and poured a liquid into a cup and brought it to Kainny’s lips. Kainny drank the sweet nectar greedily yet again and realized that she might have been dehydrated as well as hungry from being under the sun all day. As she drank the juice, some of it dribble over the side of the cup and ran down her cheek, to her neck, all the way down to her exposed breast, stopping at her taut nipple.

The Mithra set the cup back down the table and returned to Kainny’s side. Kainny assumed that she would bring a cloth back to wipe the juice off of her. Instead, the feline took her head down to her breast and started licking the juice off her nipple and breast. Kainny arched against this warm tongue licking her from her nipple to her mouth. The Mithra was licking her mouth and Kainny parted her lips and began kissing her. She looked to see a look of surprise and then pleasure within those deep blue pools. Kainny could hear her start to purr. She began to feel aroused and felt her womanhood becoming moist with arousal. The Mithra’s soft furry hands were touching out of curiosity her bare breasts and body. Kainny started panting and she noticed that the feline smelling her all over her body. Her soft tiny whiskers were tickling where she was sniffing. She became focused on Kainny’s exposed womanhood and was sniffing in the area purring louder. She timidly started licking her inner thighs, torturing Kainny with pleasure, as she made timid mewing sounds.

Kainny could feel her warm breath so close to her spot and started whimpering wanting to beg and thinking; Oh! Please lick me! Lick me! Suddenly she heard a roaring sound that made the redhead Mithra become alarmed and shrank away. Kainny hearing this roar became very concerned that they were being under attack from a predator. She noticed that it had gotten dark and that the sun must be setting. Her encounter with this sexy cat had distracted her to the point that she had not realized time going by. Looking at the Mithra she saw that she was scared and trying to keep calm. Kainny was getting scared also.

She then saw what she thought she would never see in her whole life, a Manthra! He had a mane of a lion but was black as night. His dark eyes were the eyes of a predator and he was tall. He was almost as tall as an Elvaan and muscular, but lean and stealthy unlike those big clumsy Galkans. He had an intimidating presence and his eyes glowed in the hut that was getting darker as dusk was nearing. Kainny could not help but flinch as his eyes set upon her. Many other Mithra’s were at the door of the hut peering in, seeing if their male cat was pleased with their offering of her. That is when it struck her. Kainny was a mating offer to their leader.

He growled a deep growl of what seem to be approval, looking Kainny over. He then turned around and growled ferociously at the curious Mithra’s peering in. They all left in fright, including the pretty redhead. He turned around and faced her. Kainny could not help herself as she flinched under his scrutiny. He looked like he was about to devour her.

I’ve been quite busy lately and thus have become back-logged with reviews. Today I am featuring a nifty little clitoral vibrator from Pleasure Me Now which arrived some time ago and has been languishing in a box.

The Ivy Intimate Touch Palm Massager may not look like much. I was hardly impressed when I first pulled it from the plastic packaging and turned it over in my hands. Made out of hard plastic (except for the nubbins at the end and the circular finger ‘grip’ in the middle) and very light weight, I was skeptical.

However, doing my job I popped some batteries into it and turned it on with the single button it has. The package said it had 7 different vibrations. I was immediately impressed when it started buzzing away at a fairly good strength. The subsequent pushing of the button resulted in the vibration increasing in strength twice (so three steady vibration settings, of increasing intensity) and then it flipped into some interesting vibration/pulsation patterns.

Hmmmmmm… perhaps this wasn’t going to be disappointing after all!

I stretched out naked on the bed while Jack was ironing his shirts (hell no I don’t do it for him) and started applying the nubbly end of the vibrator to all of my sensitive bits.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Very good.

He watched me at some points, but honestly, around here seeing me masturbate is such a regular occurrence that he can control himself now, even though I noticed something straining in the front of his shorts

While I am not really a fan of pulsing vibration, some people are, and this toy actually does a very good job of it. The steady vibration was plenty strong enough to rock my world and I came quite enthusiastically.

The price also makes it very attractive. Affordable but of acceptable quality, and certain to get the job done. If you only wank once in a while or don’t require a lot of bells and whistles on your toys, this is a great little vibe. Certain to get the job done without a lot of fuss.

Cleaning it is a tad more complicated, due to the nubbins and the fact that this toy is not water resistant. Also the seam around the silicone parts, where they join the plastic parts, is a perfect place to harbour bacteria. However, a q-tip and some adult toy cleaner should do the job. Just be sure to get into all the little groves to kill off any little ickies that might be hiding there.

I really enjoy this little vibe. I was really impressed with the power in such a low-key package. It also proves that toys don’t have to cost you a kidney to get you off

This Product Receives:

I should open this post with a disclaimer of some sort, LOL. It’s PMS time in the lair of Shasta and I’ve been right irritable all week. Luckily not at Jack, since so many other people seem to be giving me plenty to be annoyed about.

Take The SmartAss for one. Some days ago he made something of a crude reference to me and him and this other fuck buddy of his having a threesome. Perhaps it was his delivery but I felt insulted and annoyed. I remained polite but declined stating that I wasn’t interested in getting involved with that (the list of reasons is long…we’ll see if I feel up to including them here in a minute).

The subject was left alone for a day or so and then brought up AGAIN. This time he mentioned that he had told her about my reviews (he knows that I do them) and that I had done a review of the feeldoe. According to him she is quite eager to help me with any future testing. For some reason, I find that, I dunno, a bit presumptuous? She also apparently wanted him to send me some naked photos of her, to see if I would be interested, which I also declined. Do you think I am crazy for being a bit turned off by it all? I mean she doesn’t know me at all, he hardly knows me for that matter, and yet is so very eager to have a threesome with me?

Either he’s highly slimy or she is in the habit of hopping into bed with just about anyone who will sleep with her. I think he finally ‘got’ it after I explained in no uncertain terms that I am not inclined to have random sex with a girl (she’s only 22) that I hardly know. Men are different for me, maybe because my bisexuality is minuscule at best.

I’ve been intimate with 2 women in my life, I had known each of them no less than 7 years at the time we were together. I can count on one hand the number of women I’ve ever encountered who I actually wanted to have sex with. It’s kind of like a solar eclipse, it’s a rare thing. I had never given The SmartAss reason to believe that I was interested in a threesome with him, nor with sleeping with other women. The topic hadn’t been discussed which is why he was surprised to learn about my lack of experience. Why is it that if a woman is more free and open minded about her sexuality, men assume that she is a wild bisexual?

Perhaps that’s the assumption that makes me so irate about the whole thing. Am I wrong to be somewhat put off by that? I feel like any interest I have in him has come to an abrupt halt. I suspect a little of it also comes from his constant talking…nay, bragging, about her. It’s generally subtle, and I think he finds the ability to talk about it with me, due to the open nature of me and my relationships, quite novel. I don’t find myself the least bit jealous, but nor do I wanted to be treated like one of his locker room buddies. I don’t need to know how often he is seeing her, sleeping with her, or what have you. I’d rather not be chatting to him and have him say “Oh, she has the whipped cream out, laters” before departing.

Then I start to wonder if I am just being unreasonable. Maybe being poly means I should be down with that. I’m perhaps not used to it. None of the males I’ve ever been with before bothered to talk much about who else they were seeing. My relationship with K was a different story because of the nature of what we were, I am not speaking of him in this circumstance.

LD never really alluded to seeing others. I know he was, I never asked for details. Maybe that’s the thing, I don’t ASK The SmartAss for details. He just volunteers them and I certainly don’t encourage that. Likewise with Q or H. When I am involved with a man I am just fucking, and not in love with, I don’t really care to hear about who else he is screwing. It’s not that I like to pretend it’s not happening. I am comfortable with that knowledge, and generally I assume that it’s going on even if I don’t know. Just spare me the details because it’s not something I am all that interested in.

It doesn’t make me hot or turn me on, in fact it puts me off because I wonder if you’re talking to her about our sex as well, which is not a sexy thought AT ALL!

Obviously she knows about me and that he and I have been naked together. I wonder what he has told her? Yes indeed, that puts me off a lot!

So I am not sure what the future is for The SmartAss and I, if any. Honestly I’ve found any attraction for him waning with this whole threesome thing and all the talking about his fuck buddy. Perhaps I am just being unreasonable and temperamental.

I know one thing, being so easily irritated leads to some interesting blog posts

*Stephen R. Donaldson

Tonight I have been seriously rubbed the wrong way. It started off that I got all owly about one thing and since it’s not my place to vent about that, a phone call from Jack has got my back up over something else.

Namely, flaky people.

What do I mean by that you might wonder? Just to be crystal clear, this is not directed towards Jack but towards other people whom seem to enjoy toying with someone very dear to me. People have remarked that I make a brilliant friend. Loyal, honest, loving…you can see it in my writings to V, my writings to Jack, among others. I care deeply for people, I am very forgiving, and I accept and appreciate all aspects of the people I love.

However, there is a dark side there which rarely gets exposed because most people heed well the warning that getting on my bad side is a very, very bad idea indeed.

I don’t say that to sound menacing but if you ask some of the people who’ve seen it, I am one hell of an enemy.

You have to push the limits very far before you can personally hurt me or piss me off to the point that I become really angry. Even then, I am quick to forgive and I dole out second (and third, fourth, 118th) chances like it’s going out of style. It’s hard to fuck with me to the point that I’ll dislike you.

On the other hand, if you cross someone I love or irritate them in any way, I will crucify you as soon as look at you.

Jack is completely capable of taking care of himself. He doesn’t ever need me to get involved in his personal situations and might even be irritated with me for writing this now. I feel the need to say something though, so I’ll risk it and hope that he understands I have some pent up annoyance that is looking for an outlet.

There is a situation at hand that I’ve watched play out in the not so distant past. Someone significant to Jack basically blew him off without so much as an explanation. No warning, no indication as to why they suddenly had zero interest or time for him. As much as it pissed me off at the time, I did my very best to stay out of it. Eventually a few e-mails were exchanged and I realised this person was not someone who could be reasoned with. Being so self-centered and completely inconsiderate of anyone but themselves, asking for an explanation was as productive as watching paint dry. It hurt Jack to some extent and had I known how manipulative and cruel said person was going to be I would have done something a lot sooner.

Now it seems a similar set of circumstances is unfolding, and try as I might to explain it to myself, I am coming up short. I really like the person in question, who shall remain unnamed, but now she is causing my husband grief and it really pisses me off. A lot. Nobody treats my man like crap, ever. He might be too sweet to say it, but I’m not because it won’t be the first time I’ve lost friends over something I write here.

Jack has never been anything but wonderful to you, even though you make really questionable choices sometimes and your insane schedule makes you difficult to be friends with. He cares about you a great deal, and you have been avoiding him for over a month. While I realise that life gets very busy, especially being privy to a lot of what you have gone though, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you at least return a phone call, or follow through with either solidifying or declining tentative plans. Leaving someone hanging with no explanation is rude and selfish. Not the sort of behaviour I would ever have expected from you. I am hopeful there is an explanation of some sort, besides just “I’m so busy” because we all get busy and some of us have never made a habit of blowing people off without at least some notice or explanation, followed by an apology.

Did he say or do something inappropriate that made you uncomfortable? Sometimes Jack crosses the line, we all do it, often unintentionally. If I had to count the people I’ve offended I’d need at least a dozen of my readers to take their socks off and hold out their fingers. If that is the case then the grown-up thing to do is to tell him that. If you don’t want to do it face to face or on the phone there is always e-mail. Avoidance never solves anything and it makes you look like a flake.

If, for whatever reason, you no longer wish to be his friend, just come on out with it already. You dislike being strung along, I know that because we’ve talked about it. Why would you inflict that on someone else?

Suppose though that you don’t feel that things have changed at all? Would you at least be willing to look at your behaviours in the recent past and question that? Have you called him back when he phoned you and left a message? Have you done any follow up on plans that were mentioned in passing but not yet set in stone? Has he been making all the effort to see you and yet you cannot possibly spare an hour of your time for him during the very rare occasions that he’s in your area? Have you been treating him the way you would like to be treated in return?

I am certainly not trying to stir up shit or call you out. I haven’t mentioned who you are because I am hopeful that this can all come to some comfortably resolution. I just know Jack, and I know he’s too sweet to tell you that he’s hurting because of your disinterest in being his friend. If you are angry with me, that’s OK, please don’t punish him for any beef we have with each other. He can’t be held responsible for what I write because I am my own person and he respects that enough that he won’t control me.

Know that I won’t speak of this again, I just felt I needed to say something, now I have and I’ll quite happily go back to my usual chipper and adoring self.

*David Brin