Stiletto Diaries

Hello Shasta,

I found your blog through researching some toys for the bedroom. I know this is a bit strange for the blog, but I’m a male asking a serious question because I am so terribly confused.

My girlfriend and I are looking to get into some anal play, and she has this fantasy where she wants our roles reversed. She was to do me with a strap-on, and having used prostate stimulation toys before, I am quite open to it. The problem is that we have absolutely no idea where to begin. I’ve looked into harnesses and strap-ons, but everything confuses me. Basically I want something that she can wear
that will be inserted to give her pleasure as well as myself pleasure. The Feeldoe fits this bill quite nicely, as it gives vaginal and clitoral stimulation (although you mentioned it was quite weak). I’ve not quite found any harnesses or full on belts that have a vaginal insert/clit stimulator built in, although I know that they
exist.

We are both students, so money is a little tight at the moment– which is why we’re asking for some advice before we put the money down for something. Any help would be appreciated!

Thank you for the excellent e-mail I always love hearing from my readers.

Your question is a good one! I think that I would totally recommend the feeldoe for you two. You can purchase accompanying harnesses that also come with their own vibrating bullets.

Here are a couple that are feeldoe compatible and include their own vibrating bullet (generally in a pouch of some sort):

Corset Harness

Velvet Vibrating Harness

There are other harnesses out there that you can attach dildos to and all that, but honestly, I don’t think they are as good as the feeldoe.

The only drawback is that you can’t use silicone lubricant with silicone toys (like the feeldoe) so if that’s a big problem, let me know and I can find you something else.

Since money is an issue (as it is for most of us) I would suggest you invest in the slim blue feeldoe and try it without a harness to begin with. Some people find it perfectly wonderful just as it is. If you feel you need a harness, then you can purchase that next, when you can afford it

Hopefully that information is useful to you. Let me know if you have any other questions!

XOXO
Shasta

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Hi Shasta!!

I was wondering if you could help me with something. I chose you because of knowing of your polygamous relationships, you’d be able to help.

I am not a polygamous type of guy, have always been a single girl relationship seeker (although x-somes would be fun

The reason I am emailing you is because I love my girlfriend, XXXXX. We’ve been going 26 months, and we’ve been through A LOT. There is this one girl though, her name is YYYY, and I swear to God, no matter what I do, I CANNOT get her out of my head. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen…EVER….and she’s single…

I have no idea what to do, and it’s been giving me heartaches, because I have no idea. This have been going on since about Jan-Feb of last year.

Thanks SG!!

Thanks for the e-mail First off, one correction: Polygamous means many spouses (usually associated with one man marrying more than one person). My relationship style is Polyamory, which means many loves. These relationships do not have to be really serious, but generally feelings on some level are involved. Just wanted to clear that up

Let me ask you if you think XXXXX would be open to the idea of sharing you? Do you think, given the right circumstances, that she could be ok with you loving someone in addition to her? Keep in mind that if she absolutely cannot consider polyamory for your relationship, you are either going to have to leave her to pursue another relationship, or completely give up on YYYY. Either way you need to make a choice, to do what makes you happy.

If you want to try polyamory with XXXXX the first thing you need to do is be completely honest with her about your thoughts and feelings regarding this other woman. Explain to her that while you love and adore her as much as ever, you are ALSO, at the same time, attracted to someone else. Be prepared, she is going to be seriously threatened and angry at first. It could potentially end your relationship.

Is that worth it to you? Is it that important to you to be able to pursue other relationships? You need to ask yourself some hard questions before you go forward with this.

Take Care!

XOXO
Shasta

Do you have a question for Dear Shasta? Questions can be submitted via , or posted in the comments section below. Submitted questions will be answered in upcoming Dear Shasta segments. Questions can be on any topic you wish.

Shasta,

Recently, a friend of mine’s vibrator died. I’d like to get her a replacement, but I’m discriminating in my tastes. Only the best.

The poor girl needs relief. I may be her only hope.

I went through your reviews, and you have several that you rated highly, but…is there ones in particular, should be stuck on an island, that you would just *have* to have?

Thank you for the note

Hmmmm, trapped on a desert island. Well it really depends on what sort of stimulation she likes? Does she prefer clitoral? Penetration? Both? G-spot?

The rabbit is very popular, although prone to burning out if you use it for longer than 20 minutes at a time. If you did want to go with a rabbit, I would suggest you go with the iVibe by Doc Johnson or any rabbit manufactured by them.

Also, my love of Fun Factory toys is no secret. Considered some of the best made toys in the world, just about anything they make (besides the layaspots, which seem to often malfunction) is excellent.

Personally, if I had to choose only three toys to keep from my collection, these would be my top choices:

iVibe Rabbit Vibrator

Galan II G-Spot Vibrator

The Cone

I had almost completely forgotten about The Cone, but amongst my pals, it’s a huge hit (in fact I’m not even sure who has the thing right now, since I like to share the love).

Hopefully one of those will be the right fit for your friend.

XOXO
Shasta

Do you have a question for Dear Shasta? Questions can be submitted via , or posted in the comments section below. Submitted questions will be answered in upcoming Dear Shasta segments. Questions can be on any topic you wish.

Hi,

I came across your blog a few days ago [and I’ve already read through most of it], and it feels a bit strange, e-mailing someone I’ve only heard of through a blog, but I was wondering if you could try helping me out.

From what I’ve read, this isn’t really your thing, but my girlfriend has expressed interest in using a strap on [I’m female, by the way], and I’ve been doing some research online about different harnesses and such, but still have no idea what I’m looking for. So far the most intriguing option is the Feeldoe, which I know you’ve used.

If you’ve got any advice or tips or what have you to help me figure what I’m doing, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for the e-mail, and I am flattered that you’ve taken the time to read through so much of my blog! Please don’t feel strange, I get e-mails quite often from random blog readers

Ok, now for your question. When it comes to strap-ons I actually do have a bit of experience. I own a vac-u-lock harness system that I purchased for personal use ages before the blog came about. Having tried the feeldoe, and talked to a number of lesbian and bi-sexual women about it, I would encourage you to give it a try.

There are a number of harness systems that are compatible with the feeldoe. I would advise you to order a harness if you’re going to be purchasing a feeldoe (especially the larger sizes). Here are three compatible harness systems for the feeldoe:

Corset Harness

Universal Harness

Velvet Vibrating Harness

The most important things to consider when shopping for strap-ons are how comfortable and adjustable the harness portion is, and how many attachments are available for it. With the vac-u-lock for instance, you must buy specific vac-u-lock attachments. With other harnesses, such as the above ones which operate with a ring holder, any dildo/vibe with a flared base will work with harness.

Your specific needs when it comes to the dildos you wish to use will likely play into which harness option you choose.

I hope that helps!

XOXO
Shasta

Do you have a question for Dear Shasta? Questions can be submitted via , or posted in the comments section below. Submitted questions will be answered in upcoming Dear Shasta segments. Questions can be on any topic you wish.