Stiletto Diaries

I’m sorry that I bothered to say anything.

I’ll return to silently repressing so as to avoid making you feel guilty.

That is all.

Here are a few photos from a recent trip out to Elbow River Falls. Jack took V and I there one evening after dinner. It was a lovely night as the three of us walked along the edge of the river (me snapping pictures, as always).

Click on any of the images below to see the full-sized photo. I’m glad to have these for the memories they represent. I’m still not sure how I am going to manage an entire year without my V…I get so sad when I think about it.

Right this minute I feel like making a picnic and going off somewhere beautiful to enjoy food and friends. It’s not possible at the moment, and I’ll admit I am allowing myself a moment to wallow in my grief. Mourning the loss of memories not yet made, fun not yet had, experiences not yet lived. There will be plenty of that on the other end of course, it’ll be slow for a while in the beginning. Making friends takes time and energy. I’ll have plenty of the former but I suspect the latter will be lacking.

In these moments I question if this was the right decision. Are we really doing the right thing? Am I going to be able to live with this long term? If we hate it we can come back, but to what? Jack will need to find a new job, I will have to find a new house as good as the current one and the one before that. Moving across the country costs a lot of money. We would have to hate it an awful lot.

It’s too late to turn back now, but I can’t stop myself from wondering what the hell it is we think we are doing. Is there such a thing as the ‘right’ thing?? A better question is ‘Was it the BEST thing?’

Time will tell I suppose. My heart is heavy, and it aches in my chest. My brain keeps repeating “This is a Good Thing. We are going to be happy. We are going to love Ontario”. The feelings part of me has a hard time believing it.

It’s sort of like poly in that way. My brain can accept Jack being with someone else…my heart and soul are a different matter. Why do things in life put my logic and my feelings at war with each other?

I need chocolate. I need my V. I need to not be crying.

Boy was I excited when Bliss from Black Label Luxury Sex Toys offered me one of the coolest (and smallest) vibrators I’d ever seen for review. Black Label is a relatively new but sleek little adult site catering to people who don’t want to spend money on cheap sex toys. They only carry the highest quality products and you don’t feel like a pervert shopping there. It reminds me very much of a swanky boutique, and I like that when I am shopping for things to use on my girly parts. Their goal is to make people feel relaxed and comfortably while perusing their tastefully done web pages and I certainly feel that they have done an excellent job of it.

Now, on to the toy!

The Lelo Lily Mini Vibrator is a top of the line sex toys for women who know what they want. Made out of satiny high-grade silicone making it easy to clean and safe for water-based and silicone-based lubricants.

A few other awesome things about the Lelo is the fact that it doesn’t need any batteries! This little baby comes with it’s own charger (similar to that of a cell phone) so you’ll never be scrambling to the drugstore just so you can get yourself off.

Two very simple buttons make it so easy to use! One button turns it on and also increases the vibration, the other turns it off and also decreases the vibrations. Pretty simple really.

The Lelo is also whisper quiet. Unlike some vibes I own which sound like a jet engine starting up, you can use the Lelo anywhere and no one will be the wiser (even in the bathroom stall at the pub! Don’t ask how I know that :P)

This little toy is also ergonomically designed to fit comfortably against the curves of a woman’s nether bits. Tuck it snugly into the front of your panties while you do your housework to provide a special thrill that dusting your thimble collection just doesn’t give you.

I really loved the soft feel of this vibrator, and it’s extraordinarily small. I am talking tiny! Like the size of a chickens egg. I was somewhat concerned about it not being water proof, and I suspect lubricant might build up around the buttons and in the opening for the charger. They may want to consider adding a small rubber plug (again, like you often find on cell phones) to be used during cleaning and use. However, there is also the option of using a condom to cover the toy entirely, but that somewhat defeats the excellent soft-touch surface of this toy.

My only other criticism is that I didn’t find this toy quite powerful enough for my personal tastes. I did manage to orgasm with it after some effort, but I felt it could have packed a little more oomph. That said, many women (such as V) prefer a less intense vibration. While she found the Hitachi Magic Wand to be WAY too strong, I find it quite pleasurable. Different strokes for different folks and all that. This could also be considered a fabulous foreplay toy, much like the Je Joue Massager.

It also comes with a classy box and a sexy little black carrying case. Rawr baby!

This Product Receives:

Dearest V,

This song will forever remind me of you and the hours we spent covered in paint, dancing around my house. I remember the long talks we had during those weekends and how much we laughed. I know we will have more of those memories in the future.

Love You To Atoms,
Shasta

Before I launch into my blog post, I would like to direct your attention to this post, by my close friend and long-distance tease Padme. It reveals the naughty details of our recent web cam play time! Hot stuff, you’ll wanna read it

* * *

I haven’t been feeling myself lately.

This is evident in more ways that one, the least of which having absolutely no desire to blog or share my thoughts. Sometimes I just don’t have anything to say, even if there is much going on.

The source of this sensation has much to do with the current transition we are in. I generally deal well with change, but that doesn’t mean the effects of it aren’t felt on more subtle levels. I’m lethargic, disinterested, and somewhat mopey. The mere thought of the work ahead of us makes me want to crawl back under the covers in the morning, rather than bounce out of bed and face the day.

I’m not complaining mind you, it’s just a lot. I’m entitled to feeling overwhelmed.

I’ve been getting too much sleep, which leaves me feeling lazy and unmotivated. I believe this is directly related to not wanting to be awake and therefore thinking of all the things that need to be done.

There is also the sadness, which is not prevalent, but which plays on my mind none the less.

Soon this will all be in the past and life will resume some semblance of normal (albeit different) rhythm.

This too shall pass.

*Kevin Smith

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #90? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Burlesque

“She performs astounding acts and swirls her perfect ass in circles, like the tassles on her tits.”

Nylon Whispers

“I run my fingers along every bit of my nylon covered flesh”

No Timeless Beauty To Conform To

“While fashions themselves come and go, so do the standards of beauty rise and fall like the heaving breasts of an excited woman.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Welcome to the Redesign

Editor’s Choice

Catalina loves (sex in) Sevilla

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Half-Nekkid and Asking for It

I Feel Myself

Inspiration

Lindsay Lohan Naked Pictures On Internet?

Professional dress code

Time For Tits

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Another Ride

Dirty Lace

A gay lesson

Joining the Half-Mile-High Club San Francisco, part 9

Office Masturbation - part 4

Poker

Postage Stamp Sex

Private Show pt. 1

Rape Fantasies

Repressed

Romance

She Dancin’ with a G

Sex News

Find Your Love Match Among Hegre Art’s Models

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

BDSM Part II; etymolgy, history, psychology

Can you can can?

Commentators

Fuck Your Fucking Ethics

The Glory That Is Myra Breckinridge

I wish I’d known that…

Lip Service

Panties Tell You What I’m Wanting

“Thank You”

Things I Would Like to See in Porn

Tom made me think

Sex & Politics

No Payola

BDSM & Fetish

Featured Fetish - Urophilia (Pee, Piss, Watersports)

Happy HNT - Metal bondage fun and a naughty night with Shasta Gibson

Sick

Singing about spanking

Submissive List

Torrent

This week we have a special treat! My darling reader Esined has generously allowed me to post the first part of a hot little story she has written. Feedback in the comments section in appreciated. Enjoy!

Kainny wanted to go on another one of her adventures. She was feeling restless from the humdrum of Jeuno and decided to go to the beach for a change of scenery. Taking a teleport to Mea, she set off to Bibiki Bay to take the boat there to one of the many beaches. She was disappointed to see that it was clouding over as she neared the docks. She wouldn’t be able to sunbathe on the way to the beach.

She began to worry as the clouds got darker once on the boat. Suddenly, she could see lighting and thunder not too far in the distance and it began to pour down hard and within a few minutes she was drenched. Her clothes clung to her body and the boat navigator was having a hard time keeping the boat afloat, being distracted by Kainny’s appearance. Kainny looked down to where the navigator was staring at and she could clearly see her hard nipples through her shirt. She looked up to the navigator that was staring right behind her in fright. Kainny had just had enough time to turn around and see a giant wave crashing on top of her; the world around her went dark.

When Kainny came to, she could hear the gulls crying above her head, everything looked so bright. As she adjusted her view, she could hear waves crashing and felt the water wash over her feet. She got up slowly being dizzy and weak from the ordeal and looked around. White sand and blue water were the first things she noticed. She focused ahead of her and saw a lush green jungle with rocks, cliffs and caves. She looked down to see her shirt torn and her pants also. She bent down ripped her pants into makeshift shorts and her shirt into a small sleeveless top. She could not fix her shirt to cover her mid-drift, so she left it at that. She then set out to explore.

She came across a small waterfall and was thankful to see fresh water. She then began to undress. She stopped briefly sensing as if she were being watched. She stopped all movement and looked around. The birds were still chirping and she saw no movement within the Jungle aside from the breeze within the trees. She dove in the fresh water and drank from it. She then went under the waterfall to let the water wash over her.

From a distance, a strange creature was watching Kainny. Her feline eyes were taking in the scene of this furless female rubbing her body clean. She watched as Kainny was rubbing the sand off her creamy colored breasts that clung to her skin from being washed ashore. These round feline eyes, focused more, and a purring sound came from within her chest as she watched Kainny’s hands rub all over her bare body. She then noticed this stranger take her hand to the only spot that had dark fur on her body and began rubbing it in rhythmic motions. As she was doing this, her other hand went to her breast and played with the already stiff nipple. The stranger was panting and then moaning, her movements becoming more and more urgent.

The creature’s purring became quicker and she was feeling something build within her body and couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way. Her breathing came in as pants as she saw the stranger in the waterfalls rubbing herself and moaning. She could see her two middle fingers disappear within the dark fur between her legs. The stranger then let out a cry of pleasure. The feline’s eyes widened as she saw the stranger groom herself, or rather the only two fingers that were just moments ago hidden in that dark patch of fur. The feline then shrank back into the shadows of the jungle, with a funny sensation of throbbing between her legs as if she was the one being massaged there.

Kainny oblivious to the onlooker that had just seen her pleasure herself went over to where there were large smooth rocks and lay there to dry in the sun. The rocks had already got warm under the sun and felt cozy to Kainny as she took her clothes to use as a cushion under her head. She sighed in pleasure as the warmth of the sun washed over her. She was glad she was able to release the tension of her body that way. She soon fell asleep under the warmth of the sun and the trickle sound of the small waterfall.

I thought I had seen almost everything on the Internet.

Two filthy Frenchmen have proven me wrong.

Go here and cringe in wide-eyed horror.

Also, this video, brought to my attention by the lovely Chickpea, brings totally new meaning to the expression ‘Balls Deep’

With all of the excitement over Jack’s Birthday I didn’t get a chance to post about my hot and sexy phone conversation with the luscious Padme on Tuesday night.

Since she’s already written a very detailed (not to mention HAWT) post about it over here, git over there and check it out.

I promise you won’t be disappointed *Wink Wink*