Stiletto Diaries

I’m Not A Whore. I’m A Relationship Technician.

Archive for April, 2006


100th Post!

Yes, it’s been 100 (long) posts since I started this blog. To celebrate I bring you actual search terms from my stat counter that brought people to this blog. The parts in the brackets are my commentary on said search terms

Naked girl eating big loads of poo [Ok, that’s just fucking gross]

mom straddled his cock exercise bike [Personally I can think of better places for sex, but whatever floats your boat]

my married neighbor undressed slowly [This could have been me, LOL. We don’t have window coverings and I do have a tendency to prance around naked]

tease bladder prostate “ready to explode” -gay [Um…]

bareback seattle cockwhore [Two out of three isn’t bad ;)]

The K Experience [He certainly is an experience :P He He]

pubic shaving [I recommend waxing over shaving]

“16 years” “knee high boots” thumbnails [Umm…]

“i am a married” “my pussy” “fuck my ass” [I know all of those phrases are in here somewhere, LOL]

“masturbate in front of” -gay “my sister” “her friends” [Umm….]

car stiletto buy [Good luck with that]

Emotional Angst [Plenty of that around here, LOL]

when people maturbate together […I don’t know much about ‘maturbating’ ;)]

he thrust into me [Many, many times…]

she raped him [Umm… yes but it was all in play]

I hope you will all be around for the next 100 posts as well :) Cheers!

This week’s HNT post is dedicated to Poland, who suggested very nicely that I post a blowjob picture. Here it is darlin’. I hope you enjoy ;)

Blow Job


Catching Up

So far my week has been going very good. Monday night K and I went for wings together. We had a really good time (of course there was lots of sex both before and after) and it was nice to be normal around each other again.

Jack was fine with it all. Our talk over the weekend really made a difference. We have laid out a new schedule in terms of my visits with K. Generally Jack and I get VERY busy every weekend, starting about May. This year will be no exception as we have a basement to finish and a yard to landscape (and we’re doing all of it ourselves). Jack was worried that it wouldn’t always be possible for me to see K the allotted twice a week that we settled on before, and that if I had to cancel plans I would be pouty and resentful. So we decided that there will be one day/night a week that I get to spend time with K at minimum, and on weeks that it works out, a second day/night will also be scheduled. Good, we got that out of the way.

We also discussed how much time I spend talking to K. It works out pretty perfect that K gets home several hours before Jack does, which gives us a large window of time to chat and all that. From now on I won’t let talking to K eat into my time with Jack. Jack is just as entitled to my attention as K is, so there has to be a balance of some sort there.

Jack and I are also going to be spending more time together away from the kids (hopefully at minimum once every two weeks). Jack was feeling jealous that K was getting all the quality time over Jack’s quantity of time with me. Meaning that K and I get to do all kinds of fun stuff together that Jack and I do not, because of the kids. So that had been addressed and we’re working on it. I thought about how I would feel if Jack was going out with someone else all the time and he and I never got to go out, and I can imagine that it really sucks. I am also encouraging Jack to go out with his friends when he can.

He has also promised me that he will make an effort to read The Ethical Slut, because I think it could provide some valuable tools to help him deal with some of his feelings.

Jack also pointed out that I gave up on working things out way too easily. I know that I did. Driving home from K’s after we broke up, I kept thinking that I’d failed Jack by not giving him enough of a chance to work things out. I felt that I had failed K by just giving up on my relationship with him. I was just tired and sick and didn’t feel that there was any hope of resolution. Luckily I was wrong and we were able to recover and patch things up very quickly.

I am feeling more optimistic now. Life is good.

Something very exciting is happening this week. Hopefully I will be able to blog about it over the weekend. I’ll give you a hint. Jack and I are adding something rather substantial to our ‘toy’ collection, and it should be arriving Friday, or Monday at the latest. I will be posting a big long review of it once we get a chance to test it out, so stay tuned for that.

Tomorrow is HNT and I’ll be posting a new pic, so be sure to check back for that.

I hope everyone is having a great week!

Last night I had a hot date…with my husband ;) We finally managed to secure some time away from our children so that we could go for dinner and have a little time to ourselves. My aunt (who adores my kids, and my kids adore her) came over and ushered us out of the house, telling us not to hurry home. We headed into the city and decided to have dinner at a restaurant that we had never been to before.

We settled on The Cactus Club Cafe. I had heard good things about the food there, and the atmosphere was really wonderful. I would rate it as upper middle in terms of ‘fanciness’. The decor was very modern and almost cold, but there were elements added that balanced it out and gave it a warmer, friendly feel.

We ordered some wine, we chose a fantastic German Riesling made by Dr. Loosen. It had a very appealing scent, and tasted delicious. Very sweet, but with a slight edge to it, which kept it from being too overwhelming. I am going to keep an eye out for a bottle of it next time I’m shopping for liquor.

We ordered crab dip as an appetizer. It was very very good. For the entree I ordered the maui chicken, while Jack had the JD BBQ ribs. The food was incredible and we fully enjoyed the entire meal.

We skipped dessert just then as we were both way too full. We decided to go for a drive, perhaps see if there was anything playing that the theater that we wanted to see. I was wearing a long skirt, and Jack took every opportunity in the car to reach up it and fondle my bare pussy. Naturally I wasn’t wearing any panties ;)

We drove to the theater and looked over what was playing. Nothing that we really wanted to see, so we went for a drive around the city. We stopped to check out the new casino that had recently opened. It was very empty, but I didn’t feel much like playing, so we just walked around for a bit and then left.

We drove and talked and talked and talked. It was really wonderful to have time together like that. Finally we decided that we had room for some dessert, so we went to Earl’s, which is our favorite restaurant. Jack ordered this raspberry cobbler with gelato, and I had chocolate mousse. The mousse was incredible, and Jack and I discussed what parts of each other we would enjoy licking it off of. Mmmmmmmmm I may have to make some chocolate mousse this weekend ;)

It was getting a little late, so we decided to head for home. On the way I gave K a quick call, in order to catch him before he went to bed. We chatted for a few minutes and made plans to get together for wings the following evening (tonight). Then we said goodnight since I didn’t think I would be able to call him again before he went to sleep.

Jack and I got home and visited with my aunt briefly before she headed home. It was very late by this time, and I figured Jack would likely be too tired for anything but sleep, however he surprised me by diving between my thighs and licking me. There are few things as appealing (to him) as a nice bare pussy. He licked, sucked, and nibbled while I moaned and wriggled under his attentions. It was really fabulous, and I was so close to cumming several times.

I wanted his cock in me, so he pulled me over on top of him and I impaled myself on him and rode his cock. He muttered all manner of dirty and depraved fantasies to me while I rocked my hips. I used my layaspot on my clit and it didn’t take me very long to reach orgasm. I came hard on his cock, soaking his balls and thighs with my juices. I kept fucking myself on his cock until he came as well, moments later.

We cuddled up, tired but satisfied, and went to sleep. It really was a wonderful evening from beginning to end :)


Wax On Wax Off

Ah the thrills of having your pubic hair yanked out by it’s roots.

Actually it wasn’t that bad at all.

First of all, I made an appointment at a home-based waxing business. For one thing it saved me $20.00 compared to what the local spas charge (the few that even do Brazilian waxing). For another thing I like to support the ‘little guy’ as it were, and I often find small business people are more friendly. Perhaps that is just my experience though.

So the morning of my appointment I decided to wear a long wrap-around skirt, and no underwear. As it were I rarely wear underwear with skirts anyway, plus I wasn’t sure that I would be able to put on panties after my torture session. Since I was going straight home after the appointment I figured commando would be fine.

So I arrived and was greeted by a little middle-aged East Indian woman. She was smiley and kind and assured me that it wouldn’t be so bad. I would have to say the most uncomfortable part of the experience was having to get naked from the waist down in front of a stranger. I reminded myself that I have had two children and many, many people have already seen my koochie, so best just act mature about it and not giggle like an embarrassed schoolgirl.

I removed my bottoms and got up on the table. She went about sprinkling powder on my netherbits, which was sort of funny since it occurred to me that no one has sprinkled powder on that part of me since I was in diapers. Then came the wax, which she spread over the top portion of my pubic area first. Then she smoothed the cotton strip over it and told me to take a deep breath before ripping the strip off in a very quick and smooth motion. I winced, but it was not as bad as I had thought it would be.

She looked to me to see if I had changed my mind. I assured her that I was fine, and so she continued.

The most painful area is the strip right above the clit area. The place where some people prefer to leave a little patch of hair. Now I know why, since that part hurts the most. Still, it was not so bad. Having the outer lips done also smarts a little worse than the rest, but the pain really is tolerable.

She waxed the entire area once, including between the ass cheeks. Then she went over the entire are again with the wax (which wasn’t painful at all) to get any hairs that were left. Then she tweezed the one stubborn hair that removed to budge before having my turn onto my belly. She waxed all the way up between my ass cheeks, and then it was done. She also assured me that the next time will be much less uncomfortable.

She sprayed the area with some tea tree oil to help with the irritation, and then sent me on my way with a package of cookies.

It cost me $40.00 and I will be going back every 5 weeks from this day forward, no more razor burn for me.

The whole area was a little bit tender for the rest of the day, particularly that strip above the clit. Still, the results are fantastic and well worth it. My ass crack and pussy area are SO smooth, and Jack was very pleased. He has no problem with me getting waxed regularly from now on ;)

Anything that inspires him to give me oral sex like he did last night is worth every dime in my books :P

I’ll let you know what K thinks after I see him tonight. Yes, the restrictions are over and he and I will be going for wings this evening (that is if we can force ourselves out of bed long enough to go to the pub).

I didn’t just get it done for the guys though. I really do prefer to be hairless down there just because it feels better to me. I have also convinced V to have it done, so she will likely be making an appointment as well next time I go for mine (if not before).

If you are shaving your pussy, for the love of gawd, STOP doing that. Waxing is so much quicker and easier. The hair grows in softer and it’s not itchy and uncomfortable. Plus you get a way smoother finish than with shaving, and the results last WAY longer. Yes it does hurt somewhat, I won’t lie to you, but I’d say the discomfort is well worth while.

I will post again after my next appointment to let ya’ll know if it is less painful, etc, etc.

You will notice that I removed the previous post (the one with the lyrics to “Goodbye My Lover”). I put it up initially because K and I did have a break up of sorts. I didn’t think that there was much hope of Jack and I working anything out.

However, after a very emotional day, Jack and I had a long talk last night. We settled a lot of the issues around the break, my disregard of the rules, and how we should go forward with this arrangement.

K and I are not over yet, but there is still much talking to be done. Jack and I have to lay out some parameters that will make him more comfortable, while still being fair to my relationship with K.

I can’t be very specific yet, everything is still up in the air. I have caused Jack an overwhelming amount of pain in the past couple of days, and it will take me a while to repair the damage.

I have also put K through some unnecessary pain, and although I am not clear on where our relationship will be going from now on, I hope that he understands I didn’t know what else to do.

Things should become clearer in the coming days. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted and we shall see where this journey takes us next.

I also need to post about my experience getting a Brazilian Wax. Needless to say I am now totally hairless from front to back ;) Jack is very pleased with the result.

More on that soon. Right now we are tidying up, as my aunt is watching the kids for a few hours this evening so that Jack and I can get out for dinner and have some much-needed alone time.

I am feeling cautiously optimistic about everything at this point, but I know for sure that we are at least going in a more positive direction.

Today’s post is likely just going to be a random collection of nothing. I am still sick as hell and coherent thought seems to be escaping me. I know that I wanted to write something of substance, but we’ll see how it goes.

K and I have continued to be under restrictions imposed by Jack. Jack and I have been trying to figure out some solutions to the issue (the issue being that Jack can’t seem to come to terms with my relationship with K). Honestly I feel like I’ve been banging my head against the wall for weeks. It’s distressing and frustrating and I just want it to stop.

Jack doesn’t seem to want to fix it. He refuses to read either of the books I have that would likely help him deal with his emotional issues, nor will he take the time to read anything online (there are plenty of resources, some of which are listed in my sidebar). To me it feels like he isn’t willing to do any work for this, simply because he was not prepared for any of this to happen (were any of us?). So, that leaves us at a loss for solutions. He isn’t going to be able to just ‘get over’ all his feelings, and he won’t try to do anything about them, but he doesn’t want me to break up with K, so that leaves us with…??? I have no idea, I am out of answers.

I love Jack, I don’t want to compromise my marriage. I also love K and I don’t want to lose him. It seems like Jack is punishing me because I have K and he has, thus far, not been successful at meeting any other women.

Anyway, I’m kind of to the point of feeling defeated. I don’t want to keep dragging this out as we are all miserable and there just doesn’t seem to be any way to make it better.

K and I went for dinner Wednesday night and then talked a while about the situation. I basically just said that things were not improving, and that it is very likely our relationship (as in K and I) would be over, at least in the romantic/sexual sense. He and I will remain friends, but that will be it. It’s hard for me to think about that, since I love K and enjoy being with him. It just can’t continue with Jack being upset/jealous/resentful/etc a good part of the time. I know that poly isn’t easy, but I don’t think that it should be like this.

If we don’t come up with a practical solution, or at least make some progress in the right direction in the VERY near future, I am totally done with the whole open thing until we figure out how to avoid this happening again. I don’t plan on limiting Jack at all, in fact I will continue to encourage him to have outside relationships. For myself, I won’t be seeing anyone else until I think that I can do so without a repeat performance of this mess. Not to mention I probably won’t be interested in anyone else for quite some time while I try to get over my feelings for K.

Ok, enough with the depressing for the moment.

In other news I made an appointment for my first ever Brazilian wax! There are few things and exciting as knowing that someone will be spreading hot wax on your genitals and then ripping hundreds of your hairs out by the root, LOL. I’m actually pretty scared, and V won’t come with me because the appointment is Sunday morning and she is planning to get drunk Saturday night.

I’m sure it’ll make for an interesting blog post, perhaps accompanied by some photos of my hairless, and probably bright red pussy (no promises though, LOL).

Jack thinks I’m crazy to pay $50 bucks to let some sadistic lady torture me, but I think that it will be worth it, and I’m sure he won’t be complaining once he sees the results.

There isn’t much else to report. I hope that everyone has a great weekend :)


HNT Is Here Again!


In case there are questions as to what exactly this picture is, that is a close-up of my rear, the chain belonging to a pair of steel shackles that Jack and I have.

There is something highly erotic about the feel of being restrained with cold and unforgiving steel. There is no escape from those cuffs, and Jack bought some very heavy-duty padlocks to go along with them.

I am hoping to eventually have a steel collar as well (I like to have matched sets when it comes to bondage equipment, LOL). Finding someone reliable to make such a collar has been more difficult than I would have hoped. If I ever do manage to acquire one, I promise to post pictures ;)

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday all!

I came across something that was interesting, at least to me, over at SugarBank the other day. I have been meaning to get it posted, so here it is:

On The Phenomenon Of Female Squirting:

I’m going to get mail on this one so read this carefully or risk missing the point.

Porn movies have popularized female ejaculation to the point where you can now buy ‘All Girl Bukkake’ DVD’s. Worse yet, some women now worry that they’re missing out because they don’t squirt.

Fact: Some women can eject fluid when they come.

…but let’s not rush to call it female ejaculation.

Putting aside that there’s no reason for female ejaculation to have evolved and that women lack a prostate gland (calling the paraurethral glands the ‘female prostate’ doesn’t get round this) you also have to consider that when you catheterize a female ’squirter’ you find that what’s being squirted comes from her bladder.

Pornographers know this too. On the set of a squirting movie you’ll notice an excess of empty Evian bottles and bathroom breaks coupled with a distinct lack of anyone who believes their watching women who fake for a living having the sex of their lives three takes in a row.

For people who claim that, like supposed psychic ability, squirting’s a ‘hidden’ capability we’ve lost over time, there’s still no way to address the fact that the half-litre fountains seen in porn films are too large to be anything but pee. If there is anything to female ejaculation it’s got to be a tiny amount of stuff from an organ we don’t yet understand. Drips and dribbles? Maybe. Mugfulls at high velocity? Fuck off.

(Interestingly when you test that fluid it turns out to be of a different composition than “normal” urea - but to call anything from the bladder ‘ejaculate’ rather than ‘pee’ is politics not science.)

Making women paranoid they’re missing out by doing something no-one can find a quantifiable reason for is silly. Believe that what’s sold in porn movies is anything other than a modified golden-shower is stupidity. Besides - women get to have kids. Can’t men at least maintain an exclusive on stuff shooting out of our junk when we’re excited?

Fascinating stuff. You can read the entire article, and the subsequent comments (of which there are many, both for and against this theory, and for sure worth reading) if you click here.

Now I have only experienced what you might call ‘female ejaculation’ once in my entire life. I was masturbating when I was around sixteen I think, and when I orgasmed there was a considerable amount of fluid released. Not knowing anything about ‘female ejaculation’ at the time, I assumed it was pee, even though it certainly didn’t smell or look like urine. I have no idea how I managed it, and have never experienced anything like that since.

As far as I am concerned, I doubt the vagina could really gush or squirt out that much fluid, so I am inclined to believe that it does originate from the bladder. If it is urine or not is another story all together. I don’t know enough about anatomy or the inner working of the female sex organs to even make an educated guess.

Well I had a great blog post all planned out. I came up with it at 3:00 am when I couldn’t sleep because I have the chest cold from hell and also there was a small child determined to keep me awake in my suffering.

Sadly I have forgotten the entire thing, so you’re left with me whimpering and complaining because I feel so sick I just wanna crawl under a rock. Also I’m on my period so that doesn’t help.

Didn’t get to see K last night because A) I was WAY too sickly, and B) Jack had to work late thanks to a project that became a huge pain in the ass.

Jack, of course, was wonderful. He brought me home chicken soup and coffee and waited on me in my pathetic state. This morning he had me take a very long and hot shower before he left for work, to help me feel better.

Anyway, blogging may be slow for a while. I am terribly susceptible to bronchitis, so I am hoping that this cold doesn’t settle into my lungs. All the coughing usually ends up giving me laryngitis which is all kinds of good fun (I’ve had both at the same time more than once, and it SUCKS). So I need to take it easy and rest lots so I can get over this frickin thing.

I need someone to come and cuddle me and look after me damnit!

Hope everyone is having a better week than me. I’ll be back when I am well and have something of interest to say.