Stiletto Diaries

I’m Not A Whore. I’m A Relationship Technician.

Archive for January, 2007

Say a photo turns up, of you nakedly doing something that would shame you and your family for generations. Bestiality, whatever. Ask yourself how many people in your life you would trust with that photo.

I can think of 10, how about you? If I don’t get enough answers in the comments section, I’ll make this into a poll for the sidebar. But please do comment, I find it so fascinating to see what people say. So far the average answer is 0-2 people.

The group from here at SD answered as follows:

Jack: 1

V: 5

K: 2

It certainly is an interesting reflection for one’s self on how many people we are totally open with. Or how more or less trusting we are of the people in our lives.

Bah, the nasty little PMS beastie is tormenting me again. This means cramps, feeling sad for no good reason, and general irritation with people and life in general.

My karma seems to be sucking ass as well. Work issues, money issues, emotional crap, and landing myself a huge speeding ticket (yes, my own fault, but still horrible). It’s all adding up and making me feel really icky.

I had a rare date with LD last night. He was wonderful. We sat and had really good conversation for a couple of hours. He pointed out that my resistance to changes (that I have not implemented personally) probably has a lot to do with my dissatisfaction recently. I don’t like change unless it’s my idea, LOL. I’ve reflected on this and he makes a good point. Jack and I are on the cusp of what could be an enormous change for us and for our family. I won’t say too much about it until I know more, but needless to say, one possible outcome is more significant and scary than the other two, and I have resisted acknowledging it as a viable option for us. However, that’s silly, since it is an option, and very likely the way things will end up going in the end, so I’d best accept that things are not going to be the same in a couple of months.

I love how LD brings me clarity about certain things. He adores me but he won’t just tell me what he thinks I want to hear. He challenges my thoughts and my beliefs, so that I know better how and why I think and feel certain ways. When he read this blog post it made him so furious and sad with me that he called and left a lengthy message on my phone to remind me that I am so much more than I seem to give myself credit for. He told me in more than one way that I am beautiful and wonderful, and just so many gentle and caring things. I needed to hear it so badly just then and he came through for me without even being asked. It touched me deeply that he was so effected by what I wrote about myself. I still have the message saved on my phone because when I need to be reminded I know I can listen to it and that all the things he said are still true.

He also showed me his new bedroom furniture. I love his taste in decor, it’s much like my own in many ways. I got to be the first person he tested out the bed with! Woohoo :D It’s a comfy bed, tee hee.

After naked time was over we went to this little Vietnamese place and had a bit of a snack. We talked about travel and about my dream of having my own business and just how that would work. He has loads of connections, which he is more than happy to share with whoever might find them useful. I know that should I go into business for myself, I will have such an awesome support system, failure will not even be an option. It was getting late and as tempted as I was to go for round two of the bed testing, I just dropped him off then then headed home. It was such an excellent night. I hadn’t realized how much I truly missed his company.

I have a wax appointment tomorrow evening, with V, so I am praying that my period holds off long enough. I use Instead cups, but there is always a risk of spillage, and there are few things worse than bleeding on some nice lady while she tortures my genitals with hot wax.

I can’t wait for the day to be over :) Tonight Jack has promised to have a nice, long, hot bath with me. Complete with candles and perhaps some Sloosh Juice. Looking forward to that :P Maybe some fun with one of my waterproof toys. Mmmmmmmmm…

I hope everyone had a good Monday, and I wish you all a good week!

*Ronald D. Moore

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Click Here For: Part One

She thought she might lose her mind, she had reached her limit and panicked at the thought of being pushed over the edge, into the infinite blackness. Her thumb started to depress the button that would end her suffering. She could not possibly endure another moment… and then suddenly, it stopped. She held her breath. She dared not relax for fear he was just changing implements of torture.

His fingertips grazed her back and she shuddered. Her jaw was clenched so tightly around the ball gag that her entire face ached from the strain. He was speaking softly to her, but she didn’t hear his words. She was lulled by his tone, and the gentle caress of his hands on her shoulder, her neck, her cheek.

“Such a good girl” he whispered, unbuckling the gag. She gratefully opened her mouth so that he could remove it and then inhaled a deep breath, exhaling with a great sigh of relief. The anger drained out of her, replaced by her enduring trust in him and an unusual sense of calm.

He continued to sooth her with his words. Very slowly and gently removing the bonds that held her. First her ankles, and then carefully the cuffs around her wrists, so that only the blindfold remained. He caught her in his arms once she was released and she wrapped her very stiff arms around his neck. She dared not try to remove the blindfold herself so she simply let herself be carried to wherever he was taking her next.

The heat from her beating continued to burn across her skin, but she cared not, he was pleased with her. She knew that he was so very proud of her, and it made her heart swell with joy.

The air was warm on her naked skin and she could smell something subtle and earthy. She was shifted forward, and down, and her toes skimmed the surface of something hot and wet. She twitched in his strong arms, not sure what to expect.

“Just relax” he said, and then she was enveloped in water, up to her chest. She whimpered for a moment, the heat from the bath stung the welts on her body, but then her sore muscles started to untie themselves and she laid back contently.

The blindfold was lifted from her eyes but she didn’t open them right away. She felt hands and a sponge, moving in lazy circles over her breasts and her belly. She enjoyed this moment of pampering. He washed her legs and her feet. He caressed the intimate folds of her pussy and she moaned softly, shifting her hips very slightly into his touch. His hands moved off, back up her belly, but she did not protest. He tipped her upper body forward and her head back, and then water poured down over her hair and back. This repeated several time, washing away the tears and the sweat.

He dried her face with a soft fluffy towel and then she opened her eyes slowly. He was watching her lovingly and she smiled and blushed in spite of herself.

“Come now pet, I am not finished with you” and he stood reaching for her hands. She looked up at him, praying he didn’t mean another trip to the dungeon, but he simply grinned and helped her out of the bath. He dried her thoroughly and then led her into the bedroom. There were candles lit all around and the bed was freshly made and turned back. He laid her down and then slowly stripped off his own clothes, looking into her eyes intently.

The cotton sheets felt so good against her tired body. He climbed in next to her, their naked bodies pressed against one another, and he touched her face affectionately, and then drew her to him for a long passionate kiss…

To Be Continued, Yet Again… :P

I have been masturbating like a fiend recently.

I’m not sure what has gotten into me but I find myself stealing away several times a day, grabbing whatever toy happens to be handy, and masturbating myself to a bucking, whimpering, twitching climax.

I can’t help myself, it’s like if I don’t cum I’ll go crazy. I lay on my bed in a pool of afternoon sunshine and rock to the sounds of my heavy breathing and the buzz of some battery operated ‘personal massager’.

My libido has been gradually climbing and climbing since Christmas ended. I don’t think it’s been like this since before I got pregnant the first time.

Having kids killed my desire for sex for a long time. It’s taken Jack and I the better part of two years to get back to the frequency we once enjoyed. People are usually surprised when I tell them that he and I fuck once or twice a day usually. No less than four or five times a week, unless I am on my period. Is that really unusual? It just seems odd to me that people have a perfectly good naked body in their presence and they don’t go nuts with desire.

Jack and I are almost constantly pawing at each other like teenagers. We cuddle constantly and we sleep naked all curled up together. I think we are far and wide the most affectionate couple I know, both in public and private.

Anyway, back to the masturbation thing.

Apparently there is some theory that suggests having more orgasms will cause your body to crave them more frequently. I would say that my recent fixation with touching my pussy is proof enough for me. It seems like the more I play with myself, the more often I want to.

I’ve also noticed how easily turned on I am. Just reading the right phrase, or even seeing just the right image, and I will be dripping like a leaky faucet. This has not been normal for me in the past.

Jack has noticed over the past many months that my pussy is constantly wet. It doesn’t matter if he jumps on me first thing in the morning when I am still asleep, I am always slick between the legs. This is only irritating to me because I sometimes have to change my panties halfway through the day. Jack however finds it both sexy and amusing. It’s nice because we actually never ever use artificial lubricant except for fisting and anal sex. We can have a quickie any old time or place and it never feels uncomfortable. It also saves us money on lube, LOL, although I have enough free samples now that I could fill a kiddie pool.

Another perk of this constantly wet thing, is that it keeps my pussy nice and clean and healthy. I have never suffered from a yeast infection or any illness of the genitals. This is good because I’ll admit I’ve done some pretty non-conventional things to it, and put any number of strange objects inside of it, and it never gets sick.

Thank you vagina for being such a good little orifice. I adore how you keep yourself clean, healthy, and ready for anything.

I’d like to blame/thank someone else for my over-active self-pleasure habit. He knows who he is, and I know when he reads this he will grin with smug self-satisfaction. Thank you my friend, for your inspiring words that plant many a filthy and depraved fantasy in my head. You have been responsible for a number of orgasms the past weeks. You are the idol of pubescent boys everywhere, and the envy of males who aspire to make me cum with only a few well chosen words.

With that, I think there is a puddle of sunshine and a vibrator waiting for me upstairs. I bid you a fine weekend.


Another Wet HNT

Shower Time

Ok, some of you have obviously noticed the name change. I am gradually phasing out the whole “Stiletto Girl” thing because had I known I’d keep this blog as long as I have, I might have chosen a different name. It’s also part of the master plan to move to paid hosting and get my own dot com.

Since some really boring people already own I shall come up with a different address at which to create my new residence.

Shasta is a name I have always liked. Gibson seemed like a sensible ‘G’ last name, since I am quite fond of the nickname SG please continue calling me that.

Just wanted to post this little update :) Hope everyone is having a great week!

Happy Hump Day!

I posted over on the poly community at LiveJournal asking for a bit of advice on dealing with feelings in relation to Jack seeing other people. You can read about it here and it’s going to be fairly relevant to this post. Also I got heaps of awesome advice, so check it out :)

Anyway, let talk about balance, ‘fairness’, and comfort zones when it comes to relationships.

In response to one comment over on the LJ board, I started thinking about my expectations of myself and of Jack when it comes to poly and I broke it down like this:

I expect that I should have the same comfort levels, be OK with the same things, and generally be just like Jack when it comes to poly. Of course this only applies to poly because when it comes to tastes in food, clothing, body art, or what have you, I think it’s perfectly fine to be different from him.

Just not when it comes to poly.

That’s pretty dumb. Like forcing myself to eat mashed potatoes, which I find more vile than eating mud, just because Jack happens to love them a great deal. That doesn’t make a lot of sense. In reality we just eat a lot of rice around here or I cook potatoes for him and have something else myself.

So why can I not translate that into poly. See, I have been beating my head against the wall to try to be OK with the same things that Jack is OK with. I mean, it seems vastly unfair for me to say NO to something that he would say YES to if I asked.

Not because Jack is disagreeable, or even cares. I mean, he’s so accommodating he would drop the entire poly thing in a heartbeat if I asked him. He would even go so far to let me keep at it and just remain mono so that I never have to feel yucky and uncomfortable. He loves me so much that he would just do those things and not even resent me for it because I come first in his world. Gawd I am one lucky woman.

Rather than take advantage of his good nature, I really want to find the best possible way for us to both get what we want. He wants to be able to see other people, I want to not feel like vomiting whenever he gets close to sleeping with someone.

My comfort zone happens to dictate that I need to get to know a person a little bit before I allow them to get naked with the most important person in my life. At least for the time being. Who knows how long that will last. I might decide after it happens that I was prepared for something FAR more horrifying than reality. The rules are fluid, we can change them again if my comfort zone becomes different.

The only other thing I can think of that constantly causes me waves of nausea is this:

Curiosity+Asking Questions=Getting Answers I Really Don’t Wanna Hear

I hate knowing, I hate not knowing, what the hell am I supposed to do? Jack cannot just refuse to tell me because in our relationship that is a huge NO-NO. He would never agree to it lest he later be accused of lying and perhaps earn himself a brand new rectal opening. Nope that will not fly. I have managed to cure myself of snooping through IM archives, because it just makes me feel gross. However, when he goes out with someone, I end up asking him all sorts of questions because I can’t frickin help myself. Of course he tells me the truth and then we are back at the bad place where SG feels ill. It’s totally NOT cool.

“Just stop asking then dumbass” you all say. But HOW? I like to know what is going on with Jack, with the people he is seeing. I like to know what stage of the game they are at.

One thing that might work is if Jack would stop giving me WAY too many details. I mean, I am glad that he had a naughty chat with Miss SoAndSo but I really don’t want to hear that she masturbated for him on her web cam. I think he’s just afraid that something will come out later and I’ll turn on him like a pit bull with lipstick and growl “You NEVER told me THAT!” I don’t blame him for trying to avoid that at all costs. He loathes having to hide or keep anything from me, and vice versa. It’s just not something we do.

How on earth do you find some balance? Does it get easier as you go along?


Our Lady Peace - 4AM


Sugasm #63

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #63? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

That sound (

All she wanted was a cold drink when she woke up (

Once, a long time ago (

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Angelina Jolie’s Real Marvelous Breasts (

Editor’s Choice

What Really Really Sucks (

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Begging for it (

Cheerleading Camp (

Chicago! (

Release (

Sex with D (

Use Me Up (an RPG) (

The Workout ( and Politics

Michigan: Adultery Punishable By Life Behind Bars (

Sex News, Reviews and Interviews

The Eroticism of Dance: Matthew Bourne’s ‘Swan Lake’ (

Interview with a Masturbator (

Stunt Cock Casting Call (

Ultime G-Spot Vibrator Review (

Sex Work

Devoted Pets Learn To Adjust Their Lives For Princess (

My Wonderful Adult Life (

Sexy Sausages And Scary STDs (

BDSM and Fetish

Canings for a good cause (

Happy HNT - Spank me panties and threesome fun (

Is it Friday yet? (

Morning canings at school, re-visited (

No cane, no pain, no gain! (

Spanking the Monkey!! (

Yes Sir (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

A Niners Tale For the Feminists (

Of My Untried Fantasies, and Many Other Thoughts (

Sestina for Zoe (

Thoughts on Monogamy (

You know, every day I wake up feeling like I have the best life ever! I am probably the happiest person I know, and I like it that way :)

Over the weekend Jack and I celebrated 5 years of married life. In many ways we can’t believe it’s been that long, in the same token, it feels like we’ve been together for decades. We find it particularly thrilling that even though we have officially been a couple for 6 years, we are even more in love now than we were when we started.

Saturday evening he took me for a surprise dinner date to a restaurant in Bragg Creek. It’s called The Steak Pit, but despite the sort of deceptive name, it’s the most beautiful and interesting dining establishment I’ve ever been to. The inside is rustic, yet elegant and classy at the same time. Truly spectacular really, I loved every single thing about it.

Jack and I were seated in this intimate little nook, near to the stage, just off of the dance floor. They have live music in the evening, and a rather talented guitar player graced us with a number of excellent songs.

We ordered some white wine and Baked Camembert for an appetizer. The wall beside us was carved and marked with hundreds of hearts and initials. Like a little homage to all of the couples who had sat in that very spot. Jack and I took turns reading names and initials and what years they had been there. We speculated on how many of the couples are still together, how many came back to that place to touch their spot on the wall and reflect fondly.

The Camembert was delightful, and I certainly will be making it at home sometime in the very near future.

For dinner we chose the Chateaubriand for two. In addition to the steak the meal came with baked potato (I had rice instead), seasonal vegetables, a salad that had the most incredible balsamic citrus vinaigrette I’ve ever tasted, fresh rolls, hollandaise sauce, and sauteed mushrooms. They carve the steak (which is really more like a miniature roast) at your table, which was very nice because it keeps all the juices in the meat until right before you eat it.

Let me tell you, that was the most incredible piece of meat I have ever enjoyed in my entire life. You could cut it with a butter knife and it melted in my mouth. Really, it was entirely indulgent and exquisite. Everything about the meal was absolutely perfect. Jack completely spoiled me beyond what I sometimes feel I deserve.

After dinner we contemplated the dessert menu, but decided we were far too full. I ordered a hot chocolate with bailey’s to round off the experience, which was perfect before heading out into the cold again.

On the way home Jack and I were pawing at each other like a pair of teenagers. I had worn a knee-length black skirt, and it’s my custom not to wear underwear with skirts because I like a little breeze around my netherbits. Jack knows this and takes every opportunity to put his hand up there and feel around when I am wearing a skirt.

We were just about home when we decided to pull off onto a side road for a bit of celebratory nooky in the great outdoors. We found a suitable spot, jumped out of the SUV, and he bent me over so I was gripping the front bumper and then proceeded to fuck me wildly from behind. The night was so clear and the stars were beautiful. I can clearly remember everything about those moments. There was snow on my toes and the air was sharp and clean. Hardly a sound, save for the occasional car on the highway in the distance. Jacks hands on my hips and his cock in me, it was a little dirty but so very special all at the same time. It also brought back a lot of memories because before we had children Jack and I were quite fond of stopping for random quickies any time we took a car trip.

The entire evening was absolutely magical. More than I ever could have hoped for. Jack is so thoughtful, he knows exactly what I love all the time, and I hope that I make him even half as happy as he makes me.

Happy Anniversary my darling. Here’s to the past five years and many, many more to come. I love you so much.