Stiletto Diaries™

How To Install Linux On A Dead Badger

Posted on May 3rd, 2010 in Are You Gonna Eat That?, Emotional Angst, Made In Ontario, Mating And Relating, Migration Paths, Photos

The weekend passed with very little incident.

On Friday night Aiden went and picked up our friend, Dex, and the three of us went to see How To Train Your Dragon.  It was a SUPER cute movie, and we all really enjoyed it.  Jack and P took the kids to see it during her visit last month, and they kept telling us how fantastic it was, even for adults.

Saturday was comprised of cleaning out the garage and packing up boxes.  Not the most fun job ever, but Aiden and Dex pitched in while Jack occupied the children and worked on things in the house.  It was nice to make some progress anyway.  After cleaning up Jack wanted to take Dex out for dinner to celebrate his recent birthday, and so the six of us went for sushi at our favorite Japanese restaurant.  The food, as always, was delicious.

After dinner Aiden took Dex home while Jack and I watched part of a movie on TV and then went to bed early.

Sunday was Luke’s first communion, after which Aiden and I took the kids to meet his family for the first time.  I was anxious over the entire affair, but the kiddos were exceptionally well-behaved, and didn’t say anything awkward.  Aiden’s mother seemed thrilled to have them, and they got to meet his siblings and grandparents as well.  Everyone complimented me on how cute and well-behaved they were.  It went better than I expected, and I’ve had to promise that I would bring them back again.

The rugrats fell asleep in the back seat on the way home while Aiden and I talked about the impending move and how poorly I have been dealing with the stress of it all.  Jack remarked recently that he has been concerned about how sad I’ve seemed lately, and the only explanation I can come up with is anxiety over everything we need to get done before July gets here.  I haven’t been sleeping enough either, which negatively impacts my ability to deal with anything.  It’s getting pretty bad.  I feel like if I am not fighting with one of the guys, I am fighting with the other.  The kids grind my nerves much easier than usual.  I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed.  The first day I began packing, I literally stood there with an empty box and was at a loss for where to begin.  Just looking around made me tired.

I am glad that after pacing around a little, I just opened a drawer and began purging and sorting.  It seems as though it got the ball rolling, and I feel like I have more direction and a better game plan now.  Working on the garage helped, because we made a VISIBLE dent, which adds to the good feelings of accomplishment.  It’s difficult to get really excited about having done something when you can’t even tell that there was a lot of hard work poured into it.

I feel badly that the guys have been suffering through the brunt of my crazies.  I know I haven’t been easy to live with.  I am going to work on keeping my emotions in check, and taking better care of myself, because both of those things have been seriously lacking.  We only have 65 more days until the new house is ours, and I would rather have 65 days of hard work and pulling together as a family than 65 days of ripping peoples heads off at the slightest provocation.  I don’t like myself when I get like this, which only adds to the aggravation and frustration I feel.

Hopefully I can make it up to them, and remain extra-conscious of my emotional state over the next two months.  For now I am off to fill some more boxes.  Every time I tape one shut and add it to the growing stack, I feel a little bit better about everything