Stiletto Diaries

I Routinely Check Closets For Narnia

Posted on August 3rd, 2008 in Are You Gonna Eat That?, Bucket List, Made In Alberta, Photos

I feel totally overwhelmed by the amount of writing I need to do to catch up with everything that has happened to me over the past week, so bear with me if it takes a while to get it all written.  Also, some of it may seem brief, since I am over a week ‘behind’ in terms of posts.

Anyway, here goes

On Thursday, July 24th, Jack and I drove down to the Calgary Farmer’s Market for the first of several list items I planned to get done that day.  Mission #1:  Ostrich meat!

The booth was easy enough to find, since I’d seen it there before. I decided to pick up ostrich jerky, since it’s ready to eat and because I love jerky.

It was quite tasty, and typically salty. I actually prefer it to beef jerky, and it has a nice texture.

369. Taste ostrich meat

Since we were at the market, and feeling a little peckish, I also had the opportunity to cross off an additional item:

87. Buy fresh produce at a farmers market

The raspberries were super delicious, and it didn’t take Jack and I long to eat them all.

From the market we headed downtown, where I dropped Jack off so that he could spend some time with P, while my pal X and I launched our RoboLoo-Cupcake-Tubby Dog Adventure!

Crave was the first stop of the evening, where I picked up a half dozen of thier extra yummy cupcakes, for myself and Jack and the kids.

Some of the icing got a little melty in the heat of the day, before I had a chance to take a photo. Melty icing certainly did not compromise their deliciousness however.

381. Eat a cupcake from Crave

While we were down in Kensington, X suggested we stop in this cool toy store and check it out. I could have spent a ton of money in that store, but I restrained myself and settled for a couple of boxes of mints. Yes, I said mints.

The bacon mints really ARE as horrible as they sound. If the smell isn’t enough to make you wretch, the flavour of a pigs ass full of toothpaste certainly will.

Fortunately Tubby Dog and Robo-Loo are close together, so it was easy to hit them both without having to struggle with parking on 17th Ave.

Robo-Loo (actually called Exeloo) is a glorified, automated, talking outhouse in Calgary. X told me about it ages ago and I’ve been obsessed with going there ever since.

You push a button to enter and a robotic voice welcomes you inside and informs you that you have exactly ten minutes to deposit whatever it is you need to. What happens after that, I have no idea, because I didn’t want to mess with the robot potty.

The robo-loo plays soothing music for your enjoyment while you empty your bladder. It dispenses toilet paper at the touch of a button, and even sprays its interior clean between uses.

I’ll admit I was a little nervous about getting trapped in there, since the door is automated, but all was well. Let me tell ya, if my bathroom sang and talked to me, I might not ever leave it.

377. Take a pee in the robot potty in Calgary

As we made our way up the block towards Tubby Dog, X informed me that there is a ritual one must observe when going to said eating establishment. Apparently shouting ‘TUBBY DOG’ progressively louder as you approach is an important part of the Tubby Dog experience.

If you have never been to or heard of Tubby Dog, it’s basically a hot dog joint for people who are entirely excessive. It’s a popular spot for street meat after a night of alcohol soaked debauchery. They play old school cartoons on a projector screen and the entire place smacks of retro goodness.

I ordered a Cheetah dog, because I love sauerkraut, and X went for the infamous A-Bomb, one of the most popular, and exceedingly messy dogs on the menu.

We grabbed our food to go, and wandered a couple of blocks away, to the front steps of a church. It was only then that we discovered we didn’t bring any napkins.

Somehow we managed to eat them without getting cheese and other toppings all over ourselves, quite the task to be sure.

452. Have a Tubby Dog

It was a lot of fun hanging out with X, since I haven’t seen him in a few months, and because he always has dozens of the most insane stories ever.

After I dropped him off at his lair, I picked up Jack and we headed back to where we were staying to drink some wine and eat some cupcakes and giant bird jerky. It was pretty much a totally perfect day all the way around.