Stiletto Diaries

I’m With The Vampires Of Course

Posted on June 8th, 2008 in Carnal Confessions, Does All Her Own Stunts, Made In Ontario, Mating And Relating, Photos, Polyamory

So much awesome packed into so little weekend.

You know, generally I spend weekends without Jack moping about, feeling lonely and forlorn.  This time, however, a great time was had by the kids and myself, and I feel really great about that.  Particularly for them, because they miss their dad, and I’m glad I could keep them busy during the time he was away.

On Friday evening Varick arrived about an hour after I’d cajoled the young ones into bed for the night.  For some reason I was intensely nervous about having him over, although excited at the same time.  Padme kept me company on MSN while I had a gin and lemonade and waited.  She certainly wasn’t helping my nerves, teasing me quite a few times about him coming over and what was going to happen.  She’s a brat that one

When finally he was upon my doorstep I wished her a good night and logged off.  I showed him in and he complimented me on the house and how nice it is.  If he was nervous he certainly didn’t show it, pulling me to him for a long, eager kiss.

I was feeling sweaty and sticky from the humidity, and all the running around I’d done that day, so I told him I wanted to have a shower.  He accompanied me upstairs to our bathroom, marveling over the house the entire way.  I stripped down and turned on the water.  There is a huge mirror over the double sinks in our bathroom, and perhaps he’d noticed me glance at myself and then look away, but he practically commanded me to turn around and take a good long look while he stood behind me, cupping my breasts and kissing my neck.  Now, I’ve really worked hard when it comes to my body issues, but they seem to creep in on me, particularly when I’m with someone new.  I can’t say if he picked up on it and was just trying to make a point (he also commented on how hot I looked while he forced me to stare at myself in the mirror) or if he just assumed I enjoy my own reflection, particularly when there is an attractive young man groping me from behind.  Either way it was an interesting couple of moments before he released me and gave me a smack on the butt while I got in the shower.

Feeling much cleaner and cooler afterwards, we sat down on the tantra chair together, him resting in the crook and me straddling his legs while perched on the small hump.  We kissed and talked and were playful with each other for a while.  He told me about this other woman that he’s interested in, and I made sure to be encouraging, particularly when he remarked that Deja had seemed displeased at the idea of him playing with anyone else.  Gods love her for being so protective of me.

I told him that I would talk to Deja so that she understood that there is no need for her to play guard dog on my behalf.  I don’t mind Varick playing the field as it were, and actually I prefer that he avoid wanting to settle down any time soon and that would not bode well for he and I.

Later, after I’d turned him to mush with my fingers and hands, we laid together, talking softly, twined around each other like strands of barbed wire.  We both require vast amounts of cuddling, a mutual need that I’m quite pleased exists because we spend an awful lot of time very close to each other, which certainly strengthens this little bond I’m fostering between us.

When I finally revealed that I care about him a great deal he smiled and said “Well, just don’t fall in love with me.”

“Oh?  Would that really be so horrible?” I asked, nudging his nose with mine.  “It could happen you know.”

“It happens to me all the time” he said, and his eyes were laughing now, so I bit him on the chin.

Yeah we have this thing where I bite his chin all the time and he bites my nose.  We are weird.

Varick isn’t particularly good at verbally expressing himself, but his tone and his touch told me everything I needed to know in that moment.  We both know this isn’t going to last forever, but he’s ok with me having feelings for him, and I’m at peace with the fact that what we have is really beautiful in the now, and I’m just going to enjoy it for what it is and not stress about tomorrow or next week (more on that to come).

We talked about poly a little bit, and I wasn’t at all surprised to learn that he’s not sure he could manage it outside of our current context.  He doesn’t think that he could share if he was in a serious relationship with a woman (a woman that didn’t come as part of a set like I do, LOL) but I think most people think the same way when they really don’t know any different.  Poly isn’t a concept he had heard of before, nor is he terribly familiar with how it all works.  I’m thinking that when he’s done with the two current books I’ve loaned him, I’ll be passing him my copy of The Ethical Slut, if only to expand his mind a little more in the way of alternative relationships.

Eventually talking and cuddling led to more lascivious things and I found myself once again writhing with exquisite pleasure while his hand was inside of me.  He seems to have taken to this fisting business like a duck to water, and I was quite certain I was about to make quite a mess all over him when I came, but I think the ability to squirt just isn’t possible for me just yet.  Certainly I can’t complain about the incredible orgasm that rippled through me moments later, leaving me panting and light headed.

He’d been stroking his cock while he’d been down there between my legs, and while I was still twitching from the after shocks of my climax, he knelt up and ejaculated all over my quivering body.  He almost hit me in the face, but fell about an inch short.

After we got cleaned up, we snuggled a little longer before he had to call it a night.  He had to work the next day after all.  He promised he would come back the following evening, and hopefully he’d have a chance to nap after work so that he could survive another night with me

I felt great when I woke up yesterday morning, since the kids had allowed me to sleep in for an hour, and I’d managed to get just the right amount of sleep.  We decided to go to the lake after breakfast and spend the morning playing in the sand and basking in the gorgeous weather.  I rounded up our beach towels, the sun block, bottled water, and a pail with shovels, and off we went.

Unknown to me, the beach we’d planned to go to was hosting dragon boat races.  It was no matter, since it wasn’t crowded, and they were playing music from the commentators tent, which was actually very enjoyable.

The kids were beside themselves with excitement.  I set up towels and parked myself in a sunny spot near the water while they ventured out a short ways into the lake.  I took some photos with my phone and sent them to Jack, telling him that we missed him and wished he was with us.  Sometimes my sappiness is almost nauseating, as I wrote “I <3 U” in the sand with a stick, snapped a picture, and sent it to his cell phone.

 We spent a couple of hours constructing and destroying sand castles, digging moats and filling them with water, and splashing in the waves.  Then it was time to go home and have some lunch and see what else we could get up to for the afternoon.

I decided to give Nia a call and see if she wanted to go on an unplanned adventure with me to pick up a drum from Tribal Thunder, since a drum circle practice is planned for today and I really wanted to be able to participate.  Naturally she agreed to come with me, and so our afternoon expedition began.

Nia and I are both a bit directionally challenged, and although I’d written down directions to the workshop, we took a bit of a detour and then the low fuel light came on in the van and there were about 10 minutes of uncertainty over finding a gas station before we got ourselves even more turned around.

Fortunately we did not end up stranded, and one of the attendants at the station we came across was able to advise us on how to find the street we were looking for.

The kids were quite fascinated with the shop where the amazing people from Tribal Thunder build their drums.  The little ones each got a set of mallets and an Oscar™ drum to play on while the rest of us visited.

I ended up getting an Ashiko Pony drum, which I had wanted very badly.  I’d gone there expecting to come home with a Djembe, because they were out of the Pony style, but as it happened, I was able to purchase the drum I connected with at my first even drumming experience.  This particular drum is very special and has an incredible story.  I’d planned to write about it here, but somehow that just feels…inappropriate.  It’s not the sort of drum you could ever just purchase anywhere else, as there were very few of them made (around a dozen if I remember correctly) and that’s about all I will say.

Nia had a prior engagement to get to, so we bid everyone goodbye and promised to visit again soon (which I certainly will since I want to get a harness made, which makes it possible to play the drum standing up).  I dropped Nia off where she needed to be and then took the rugrats home for supper and then bed.

I was nervous again, although less so than the night before, about Varick’s arrival.  My stomach was in knots, which was silly really, since there was nothing to be so worked up over.  I chatted to Padme again for a few moments, and then got cleaned up and paced about until he was at the door.

He hadn’t napped and I was a little exhausted from the very full day I’d had, so we decided to relax together and watch a movie.  I’d planned for a bath but it was far too hot for anything like that, so we settled for stretching out half naked beside each other on the bed, with the air conditioning on, and we watched Unbreakable.  It wasn’t a terrible movie actually, I quite enjoyed it.

Following the movie we had a snack in the kitchen and then watched some episodes of KINK and A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex.  We dozed some, since it was already getting late and were were both tired.  It was really nice to have company with Jack being out of town.

After a few mutual sexual advances, an orgasm for me and a blow job for him, I ended up bent over the big hump of the tantra chair while he fucked me from behind.  I groaned and pushed back against him, encouraging him to fuck me harder, and faster.  He seemed a little uncertain of himself, not unlike the other not so experienced males I’ve been with, but overall it was a great deal of fun and we were both well satisfied.  Let me tell you, that boy deserves a medal or something for distance, because I swear if I measured how far away from us I found droplets of cum, it would be at least four feet or so (he was quite pleased by this, LOL).

The sun was starting to break on the horizon, which meant it was time for him to go.  We got ourselves sorted out and I made him promise to text me once he got home so that I would know that he made is safely.  I’m a little tired today, although we did manage to get in a little sleeping, off and on.  It’s worth it at any rate, and I can always have a nap once the kids are in bed, while I wait for Jack to get home from his trip this evening.

I spoke to Nia yesterday during our travels to and from the drum shop.  I’d been thinking a lot about the situation while I was out at the beach with the kids, and I feel like I’ve come to some sort of understanding about my emotions and the situation.  I’m often too cynical to put much stock in fate or anything that can’t be explained away with logic, but I honestly believe that Varick is a different story.  I get the impression (not from him, but from somewhere in my soul) that this is meant to be a temporary relationship, and that he has come into my life so that I can serve some purpose for him.  Perhaps restoring his faith in people, which he lost along the way, due to circumstances that he shared with me but I don’t feel inclined to write about here.  He has a few wounds that need healing before he can go on to a healthy and positive relationship, and I think right now he’s in the healing phase and perhaps I am part of the plan to facilitate that for him.  This all sounds totally insane to me by the way, even as a write it, but I can’t help myself it would seem, I think this is what is supposed to happen, and I’m ok with that.  I’m just going to keep caring for him, and let the chips fall where they may.

Now I only have a couple of days to recover and then Padme will be arriving and we’ll be off for quite an ambitious weekend.  I’m so excited I can hardly stand it.  Thursday can’t get here fast enough!  I won’t be blogging much (or probably at all for that matter) over the weekend, but I’ll be keeping up with Twitter, so you can check in for my daily Tweet digests and find out what we’re up to

Also, if you haven’t already, please cast your vote in my sidebar poll there.  I’m curious what you guys would like to see more (or less) of in terms of content.  Multiple choices are allowed, so check off all the things you love reading about here, and it’ll assit me with increasing the types of posts people want more of, while still writing for myself.  Thanks for all the input so far!