Stiletto Diaries

My Crotch Area Is Too Tight Now*

Posted on July 2nd, 2009 in Does All Her Own Stunts, Made In Ontario, Mating And Relating, Polyamory

On Tuesday evening I drove down to Kade’s for the first date we’ve had in a month.  I’ve missed him very much, and we were both looking forward to spending some time together.  As Wednesday was Canada Day, and Jack didn’t have to work, I had the luxury of staying at Kade’s overnight, which I hadn’t done before.

We discussed a possible camping trip towards the end of July, as he’s never really been camping and I’ll use any excuse to sleep in a tent.  Although neither of us really want to think about what my leaving means for our relationship, I’d like to make the most of the time I have here.  There are still plenty of things on my list that are Ontario-specific, and I’m hopeful that he’ll help me cross at least a few of those off before we move.

We cuddled up on his bed together to watch movies and make out.  I’d nearly forgotten how much I enjoy kissing him.

I doubt we actually slept more than an hour during my visit.  We talked and kissed and touched, late into the night.  We didn’t have sex.  We actually didn’t even take our clothes off.  He’s still very anxious about sex and intimacy, and I didn’t want to push him, so we kept it pretty PG.  I could tell that he wantedto go further, but something is still holding him back.

Really though, making out like teenagers and being too ‘nervous’ to get down to things is really building up the sexual tension, and I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when we finally do fuck each other.

Here are a few of the Tweets I posted yesterday on my drive home from his place:

Had a really good sleepover with Kade although we didn’t have sex. Left his place “climbing the walls” horny.
9:51 AM Jul 1st from txt

It was like the female version of having a 10 hour erection.
9:55 AM Jul 1st from txt

It’s like being 16 again and not going ‘all the way’ but getting so turned on that you feel as though you might spontaneously combust.
10:07 AM Jul 1st from txt

In other news, we only dozed for about an hour and now my brain feels like it’s trying to escape my head, via my temples. Helloooo coffee!
10:10 AM Jul 1st from txt

Jack was quite happy to provide an outlet for all of that built up excitement ;)  After making me come and then thoroughly fucking me, he left me to nap.  I probably could have slept the rest of the day and well into the night, but I managed to drag myself out of bed when he woke me a couple of hours later.

Kade and I had a chance to chat later that afternoon.  We talked about his anxiety and how frustrated he is that he didn’t just go ahead and do all of the things that he wanted to do while I was there.  He has decided that he’s had enough, and that he’s just going to have to go for it next time, regardless of how nervous he is.

Even though I know that it’s his decision, I’ll admit that I wonder if it’s wise for him to have sex with me.  Considering the looming possibility of us moving away, and the fact that I would be his first, I just feel as though he’s setting himself up for a broken heart.  Perhaps he doesn’t care though.  He knows that we may be leaving and he wants to spend as much time with me as we can manage between now and then.

*Title Courtesy Of My Spam Folder