Stiletto Diaries

I’m Not A Whore. I’m A Relationship Technician.

Archive for February, 2008

It’s been one of those weeks. The kind where time passes quickly, and you feel like you’re not getting anything done at all. Or at least nothing of substance.

I didn’t even realise I’d gone nearly 4 days without blogging. I kept meaning to write, and yet, I had nothing to say.

Uninspired: the theme of the week.

Nelek wants to get together again soon, but I’m putting him off. He’s apologised a number of times for being such a major disappointment last weekend, yet I’m not quite inclined to encourage a visit at this point. He’s offered to come down to assist in the house project I am undertaking, and while I probably could use the help, I’m just not sure that would be a good idea (and no, my children would not be present, so don’t get your back up over that).

There are a couple of other males in the peripherals as well. An older (than me) guy who lives closer, has a good job and drives, and who seems to have a Dominant streak in need of nurturing. He’s a single dad, so his free time is seriously limited, which will probably suit me just fine. I’m put off by guys with too much time on their hands.

The other is slightly older, yet clearly less mature. He’s a student, living with his parents about an hours drive from me. I don’t know that he has real dating potential, but certainly could become a fun hang out buddy, with a little casual sex on the side. Clearly more investigation is necessary.

Saturday morning is my first wax appointment with a new esthetician. She’s come highly recommended, so I’m hopeful it will go well. Perhaps I’ll have her leave a fancy little tuft in the shape of a heart or a star… LOL, kidding, really.

Well, I’ve been putting off some other projects long enough. I’d like to get a few other things done before bed, and I’m still feeling really blah about writing. If you’ve been missing my posts (which likely won’t become more frequent or exciting for a couple of weeks) be sure to check my Twitter for daily updates. You can view them in the sidebar there, right under my sexy bookish pin up girl. I generally manage to post something there several times a day, even if I don’t have the time or the inclination to blog.

I wish you all a good night and sexy dreams!


Fuck The Pain Away

Happy CatDisappointment is a funny thing. You can only feel disappointed if you’ve set yourself up for such things through beliefs and expectations. I’m fond of saying that expectations are dumb, and are the fastest route to general unhappiness.

For the most part I make a very conscious effort to avoid expectations. I realize that sometimes it happens without a lot of thought, but really, I do my best not to have them.

Last night I somehow slipped, formed an expectation in the back of my mind, and as a result was thoroughly and completely disappointed.

I don’t feel like getting into details, but lets just say a last minute get together did not go at all like I had wanted it to. This wouldn’t have been so terrible had the result not been a bit of a blow to my ego.

Other than that, the weekend was brilliant. I got to have coffee with my friend Rob, who wrote that excellent book I reviewed some months ago. We swapped stories over lattes in Starbucks, discussing writing and relationships and the party I’ve mentioned here (which he will be attending, along with his lovely girlfriend).

We eventually had to bid each other a good day, since I had other commitments. It was a lovely way to start off Sunday at any rate.

Off to Miri’s house for diner lunch and coffee, followed by relationship discussion and much venting about males and how inconvenient they often are. We snuggled some, since she was nursing a hangover and I was nursing my slighted pride. It was good to have a girls bitch session and some fairly innocent cuddling :P

Around supper time I figured I’d better head home. I hadn’t slept well at all (I rarely do in unfamiliar places) and it was a long haul back to our house. Reluctantly I wished her a good evening and off I went. Thank god for Tim Horton’s and satellite radio.

Self-inflicted disappointments aside, it was a pretty alright weekend. My period is starting today, and I didn’t have ANY PMS, thanks to my regular working out and drinking lots of water. I’m going to keep on my gym schedule this week, and I have a waxing appointment on Saturday, which is always more painful around this time, but I can take it.

Blogging may be light for the next week or so. I bought paint for our house interior over the weekend, which means I will be spending a lot of my time scantily clad with a roller in my hand. I like to paint in my underwear. Perhaps I will grace you with photos.

February is almost over, which hopefully means spring is upon us. I’ve had enough of the snow. On to the nice weather!

Friday has finally arrived, and with it, the beginning of what I expect will be a very good weekend.

To get ourselves into a weekend kind of mood, Nia and I did a yoga class this morning, followed by a nice hot shower at the gym and about 15 minutes in the sauna together. Nia says she is bringing the towels next time though, since the ones I grabbed were hardly larger than a dishcloth and really offered no coverage, LOL. It was a stretch for me to sit down in the sauna totally nude and relax. I’m certainly not bashful in front of Nia, since she’s seen me naked plenty of times on web cam. However, there was another woman in there when we went in, and although I was feeling self-conscious, I made myself let it go.

The sauna was heavenly, and we left the gym feeling energised and refreshed (as opposed to dragging our sore and sweaty asses back to the vehicle like we usually do). It was an excellent way to kick off the weekend.

Earlier this week K booked his plane ticket out for April. It’s all very exciting, between him coming out, and the party that we’re having, I wish it was April already.

I’m going to be spending some more time in the kitchen this weekend, melting chocolate and pouring it into little penis shaped moulds. I’ve decided to get them all made now, well ahead of time, since I want to give a little bag full to each guest. Had I wanted to be really fancy, I could have made them with cream filling :P Tee Hee

Speaking of chocolate, Padme put up a photo today of the chocolate handcuffs I sent her for Valentine’s Day! I also want to congratulate her and Master Anakin on their 1,000th blog post, and thank them for the awesome gifts they sent me for Valentine’s Day as well. You can go check out the neato Webcam Porn Star pin which I have attached to my purse. Very, very cool! They also sent me a super awesome bumper sticker, which I can’t seem to locate on the store site just now.

Tonight I am hoping Jack and I can rent a movie and kick back with some drinks and snacks. It would be nice to relax and cuddle a bit. Maybe even test out the new toy that arrived on my doorstep yesterday :P

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

*David Brin

Good day

Random Friend:

For me, perhaps not so much for you

Random Friend:

Are we angry? Tired? Frustrated?

Random Friend:
Tired as fuck and work is extra gay today, running 2 machines, doing 3 things on each
3 unrelated tasks

Random Friend:
Its gay

Ah, I understand your annoyance

Random Friend:

Just like peach cobbler

Random Friend:

It feels like I’ve had a lot going on this week, until I actually stop and think about it, and then I start wondering, “What the hell have I been so busy with?”

Monday was a holiday here in Ontario; their first ever Family Day long weekend. Family Day is luxury I’d been accustomed to in Alberta for as long as I can remember. We went out for breakfast as a family, lounged about in the afternoon, and then went out for supper as well. It completely threw off my regular schedule however, and so today only feels like Tuesday, which means I feel behind in my week already. Not that I am complaining about the extra day with Jack :)

Nia and I have been hitting the gym four times a week now, which seems to eat up at least a couple of hours on those days. It feels so good to be working out again. I needed to get out of the house this evening, so I treated myself to a new yoga mat and some sexy workout gear. One can never have too many good sports bras or lycra booty shorts.

This weekend I have a couple of dates lined up. Sunday I am having coffee with a friend who I’ve mentioned here before, but who has not been assigned a name as of yet. I did photos for her one Saturday afternoon not long ago, and we’ve hit it off quite excellently. I shall call her Miri, which means ‘mine’ and you can read into that however you will *sly wink*.

Afterwards, I am getting together with Nelek, for coffee and more lascivious things. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I likely won’t be able to spend any time with him again until well into March. Thus, I am going to make the most of Sunday, as they say.

Today was spent indoors, tidying the house while I listened to episodes of Polyamory Weekly on my iPod. Nothing like being elbow-deep in dishwater while Minx purrs on about responsible non-monogamy. She may yet inspire me to try doing a podcast of my own.

Before I leave off for the evening and crawl into bed with Jack, I have a favour to ask! I need some dare suggestions for an adult party. I know I’ve asked for this before, but this time I need them to be short and easily applied to a group of people who don’t know each other well. We’re going to be writing them on slips of paper and giving one to each guest at random. We’ve got things like “Show some skin” and “Introduce yourself to an attractive stranger” but I need quite a few more. So, think about going to a sexy adult party where you might not know anyone all that well. What sorts of dares would you like to see people do? What would you be willing to do? Leave me some comments please :D

Beer?After the complete flop that was Loki (he was totally non-committal as far as getting together went and I only had patience for that the first week) I decided not to mention new guys, and waste perfectly good names on them, until something had actually come of it.

So, last night I had a date with a new guy, who I’ve been chatting to for a week or two. He’s not exactly local (he’s an hour and a half away) but close enough that we can hang out once or twice a month I think. Plus we can meet in the middle or he can come out here.

He’s younger than me, only 21, which doesn’t seem like a lot since I am only 25, yet I feel a bit like a Mrs. Robinson**. Perhaps because I’ve already lived through an awful lot of experiences in that short time. He seems fairly innocent, which I’ll admit makes him greatly appealing. Not because I want to corrupt him (ok maybe a little) but because that wide-eyed wonder reminds me that there are still plenty of discoveries to be made.

Before I get into the details of our evening out, he gets a name. Nia lent me a book about choosing names based on astrology and personality types. The guy in question is a Taurus (the highest match for my Virgo self, LOL) and so I’ve decided to christen him Nelek, which means ‘horn’ because it’s amusing, and pretty suitable in my opinion.

Anyway, all of that taken care of, on to the good stuff!

Nelek and I had arranged to meet in his city and then have coffee together and hang out. I made it very clear that I didn’t want to attach any expectations to this date because of my personal rule regarding not putting out on the first date. Really, I prefer the initial meeting to be about getting to know each other, without any pressure or presumptions about sex. He agreed with me on all points, and so a time and place was solidified.

Although I had written out directions for myself, I still got lost, and ended up on his doorstep half an hour late. He told me later that he had assumed I was standing him up. I generally do not go into strangers houses, however, his older female roommate was sitting right there and I had to go pee so bad I couldn’t stand it. He let me in to use his bathroom, and to snorgle his adorable lab puppy.

We drove over to the nearest Tim Horton’s and grabbed a coffee and a seat. The conversation was light and entertaining, and he was certainly easy on the eyes. We seemed to hit it off, and had plenty of things to say. There were no awkward silences, which was a bonus.

Eventually the conversation became a little racy for the crowd at Tim’s and we decided we’d better relocate before we started getting stared at (not that I mind). I suggested we check out a sex store, since that seems like a perfect place to go on a first date, LOL.

He directed me to a place nearby. A nice little non-chain place with a great selection. I picked up some penis chocolate moulds for my upcoming party, and we browsed the toys and lingerie. Found out he’s a big fan of costumes, and sexy games. Clearly he needs a little schooling, since he doesn’t know a lot about kink and he’s never purchased a sex toy, but that will come with time.

We left the store and drove around some, just talking and getting to know each other more. At one point we stopped at a park to wander outside but it was far too cold, and so that lasted all of 5 minutes before we hopped back into the truck.

I asked if there were any diner’s open where we could grab some nibbles. He suggested a place he knew and off we went. It was a typical 24-hour eating establishment, but there isn’t much open that late at night, LOL. We flirted over french fries, discussing past relationships and hobbies and all manner of random topics. It was decided that once we were done at the diner, we would find someplace to park and talk some more. I still had time to burn and neither of us wanted the date to end quite yet.

We ended up in an unlit parking lot and sat there chatting for quite some time. There was certainly flirting, but neither of us were brave enough to make a move. Silly really, but after some posturing and nervous glances we managed to get the initial kissing out of the way. After that, the awkwardness melted away and we spent some time making out like teenagers in the front seat. Kissing led to groping, which eventually led to his hand down the front of my jeans while I screamed bloody murder and came all over his fingers. I returned the favour in kind, making him twitch under my touch while nibbling his lower lip.

We were both satisfied and breathless, and since it was well into the wee hours of the morning, I decided I should start the long trek home. I dropped him off and kissed him goodnight before grabbing another coffee and driving back to my place. I crawled into bed beside Jack at 3:30am, exhausted but content.

All in all, I felt it went very well (the fooling around aside). I enjoyed his company very much, and it seems that he enjoyed mine as well. He’s also quite open minded, and willing to try new things. It’s too early to speculate on where this is going, but I’m generally optimistic.

*Steven Meretzky

**A term commonly used for an older married woman who seduces young men.


Go! Go Now!

Thanks to a good blogger buddy of mine, my attention was drawn to this incredible article on polyamory over a Freaksexual. I’d never been over to that particular blog before, but I’m certainly glad I found it. Check it out, it’s very well written.

Soft Fruit

Goodhandy's Diamond DollsLast night I had the extreme pleasure of judging the first annual Goodhandy’s Diamond Doll Pageant ‘08. Nia joined me on the judge’s panel, along with James, the third of our little trio.

Todd met us at the bar soon after we arrived and we talked a bit about the pageant. I think Nia and I were both mesmerized by a transsexual gang bang video, which was being played on all of the small screens around the club. To be honest I have practically no experience with the transsexual/trangendered community, however, that porn was hot. Something about watching gorgeous women, who happen to have cocks, fucking some straight lookin guy up the ass, makes me feel all tingly in my girl parts. Yum!

Nia and I had a drink and chatted to some of the girls. Goodhandy’s, by the way, is a pansexual club in downtown T-Dot. They cater primarily to trans/gay/queer folks, but everyone is welcome. I’ve enjoyed both of my visits to the club very much, even though I do not identify heavily with the queer community, I didn’t feel at all out of place or unwelcomed. All of the women were very friendly and sweet. A couple of them were so sweet, I just wanted to dunk them in my coffee.

The opening remarks began once us judges had taken up our perch overlooking the stage. Mandy Goodhandy took the stage to welcome everyone and talk about the pageant. That woman is all kinds of fabulous, she gives me serious clitter© and she has an excellent sense of humour. Clitter© by the way, is a term that Nia uses to describe the female version of an erection. Basically serious sexual arousal. See, you learned a new word today. We’re not just about the hot sex here; we also want to teach you new shit.

The pageant got rolling, the three of us bent over our papers and scratching out notes and scores for each of the contests. Each of them was so incredible and beautiful; I wasn’t sure how on earth we were supposed to score them properly. Their costumes were gorgeous, and let me tell you, those girls can move.

After much humming and hawing and erasing and re-writing, we all handed in our score sheets and then Nia and I headed down to the bar to have another drink while we waited for the crowning. She and I discussed party plans while we sipped our beverages, waiting only semi-patiently for the lovely Ms. Goodhandy to announce the winner.

Eventually she took the stage again, and before getting down to the crowning, she did a little spiel about each of us judges. Let me tell you how strange it was to sit there in the spotlight for a moment while someone talked about my website and my hobbies and referred to me as Shasta Gibson in front of a bar full of people. Surreal and exciting come to mind. I’ll admit I basked in it, just a bit.

After all of the anticipation, the 2nd and 1st runners up were announced, and then the pageant winner was crowned. She was clearly thrilled, and all three of the girls posed together for photos before coming over to our table to give us hugs and thank us. Such lovely girls, I adored all of them.

Todd invited us to hang out at long as we wanted, but it was already quite late and we had a bit of a drive home. Had it been a weekend, I would have taken him up on that and Nia and I could have camped out in the back of the SUV since our parking wait paid until 6am this morning. However, as it was I fell into bed at around 3am this morning and went to sleep immediately.

7:30 came earlier then usual, let me tell ya.

I would like to thank Todd (for probably the 17th time) and Mandy, who also gave us lovely hugs before we left, for being so welcoming and generous. We had a wonderful time and I think both of us are looking forward to attending future events at Goodhandy’s. What a fun and unique way to spend Valentine’s. Quite suitable really, in my opinion, LOL.

I Love You