Stiletto Diaries

I’m Not A Whore. I’m A Relationship Technician.

Archive for June, 2007

It’s not by accident that I haven’t written a very personal or detailed post about The Polyamory Experiment™ in about 4 months. That’s a long time to go without the usual emotional angst and “Oh Woe Is Me” around here.

To be honest, I haven’t felt like sharing that aspect of myself here. As always there is constant movement under the surface. Although the move has pushed it somewhat to the back burner, it lingers there, always scratching gently and waiting for my attention.

The truth is I go back and forth on how safe I feel exposing my soft underbelly here. Yes, it’s my blog, that’s what it’s here for, but doing so also invites sometimes cruel criticism. That is the nature of blogging, I know this, which is why I allow comments, and don’t moderate or delete them. However, when I don’t feel like having to deal with that, or I am particularly sensitive, I just don’t write about that here. I keep it fluffy and fun, because even when things are icky and raw, my life is still a fabulous adventure.

I have continued to fight and claw and struggle against my insecurities. I’ve talked until I have no words left. I’ve read and studied everything I can find on dealing with jealousy. I have spent a LOT of personal quiet time, just mulling everything over, churning it ’round in my brain until I develop a headache.

Progress has been made, although Jack has not yet had sex with another woman. Part of that is due to circumstance (he’s been working like crazy for months) and part of it is due to his worry over potentially causing a tremendous fracture to our relationship.

Currently though we are right on the cusp of leaping off of that cliff and seeing what happens at the bottom.

As I was gathering my thoughts to write this, the most amazing thing happened. A new Polyamory Weekly podcast popped up on my BlogLines. Wouldn’t you know, it was a special about jealousy! So I hit play and settled back to listen, and then began taking notes here in this post. I think that the Cunning Minx just changed my life, and the way that I process my jealous feelings. Please allow me to share with you what I wrote down from the show:

* * *

Dealing With Jealousy

Step One - Acknowledge The Feelings

“I feel jealous and insecure”

Say it out loud. Own those feelings verbally.

Step Two - What Does It Mean?

If Jack kisses another woman then:

I feel threatened. I feel that Jack is doing something with her that I wish he would do more of with me. Jack and I ‘peck’ all the time, but we generally don’t spend a lot of time making out. When he does this with someone else, I feel less special and less desirable. I fear he would rather make out with someone else than me.

If Jack is sexually intimate with another woman then:

I become uncomfortable, because I am afraid that he will find her more physically attractive than me, and that he will prefer being with her over me. I wonder if she will be more sexually satisfying than I am, or better at handjobs/blowjobs. I fear not being good enough.

If Jack has sex with another woman then:

He may not want to have sex with me as often. He may want to spend more quality time with her than he does with me. I am afraid that he will find her prettier/sexier/more attractive. I fear being less desirable. I fear being ignored and neglected.

Step Three - Uncovering The Fear

Do I believe that Jack is with me because of how I look?

No. Jack is not a shallow or superficial. I know that he loves me because of the person I am and the wonderful qualities I bring to our relationship. I would not be with him if I felt he only loved me for my looks.

Do I believe that Jack is with me because of what I offer him in bed?

No. While sex is a vital and important part of our marriage, it is not the be-all/end-all. The frequency/intensity/length ebbs and flows, as is normal in relationships. During times when our sex is less frequent, I do not feel that he loves me any less than when we are having more sex.

Do I think that if Jack finds a partner who is prettier or thinner, that will make our relationship less special?

To be totally honest with myself, no. Jack admires other women, he watches porn, and flirts. There are women out there who are certainly thinner than I. There are also women who are prettier. Him looking at them and finding them attractive does not mean that he then looks at me and finds me ugly. We have been together for almost 7 years, if that was going to happen, it would have occurred LONG ago. When I look at a particularly attractive man, it does not make my love and affection for Jack any less real or special.

Is it possible that Jack is with me for reasons besides how I look?


What are those reasons?

I am a fun, dynamic, and interesting person. Jack is more of an introvert, while I am an extrovert, and he adores how I draw him out of himself. I am very supportive of him, I encourage him, and I rub his back when he wakes up in the morning, which he loves. I take care of our home and our children. I do his laundry. I am strong for him when he needs me to be his rock. I love him with all of my being. He loves and admires my drive to do the things I set my mind to. He appreciates that I am tough, independent, and sexually adventurous. He adores my soft side, and that I tuck love notes into his socks when he travels for work. He loves that I claim to hate getting flowers, yet he can see how pleased I am when he surprises me with them… I could go on for a long time, but I am sure that gives you a good idea.

In light of those things, is it reasonable to assume that someone else could replace me?

No. Even if he loved and cared for someone as MUCH as he loves and cares for me, she would be different things to him than I am. I am special. No one it me, and I cannot be replaced.

What value do I add to his life?

I bring him great joy and happiness. I hold him up when he feels like life is crushing him. I provide companionship. I fulfill his need for physical touch. I make him laugh. I make him think. I have very intellectual conversations with him. I assist him in fulfilling his life purpose. I am his best friend. There are more, but I can add more later, when it’s not 1 o’clock in the morning, LOL.

Has Jack ever said/done/implied anything that would lead me to believe that he would leave me if he meets someone more physically attractive than I am?

No. Those words didn’t come from him. My source of low self-esteem related to my body image comes from years and years of being teased and called fat as a child. I also come from a family of overweight people who have been obsessing over their weight for my entire life. My mom especially has never held back when she felt I was getting too fat. While I don’t feel at all that Jack would leave me, I fear not being good enough or thin enough. I was never thin enough for my mother. I was never thin enough or pretty enough to be popular in school or with the boys. I feel like I am not good enough because of my body. Jack has never once called me fat or implied that I need to lose weight. He is VERY supportive of my weight loss when that is what I want. When it is not what I want, he is supportive of that as well.

What Can The Partner Do?

- Create a safe place for the jealous party to express themselves

- Just listen at first. Let them work though it on their own a little. Give them at least 10 minutes of JUST LISTENING quietly. Hold their hand, nod, acknowledge them, but don’t speak

- Give reassurance (reasons why you love them aside from sexual things or whatever is causing the insecurity)

A Closing Note:

Give yourself permission to freak out. Communicate to your partner that freaking out does not mean they have to STOP what they are doing, but that talking needs to happen ASAP. Then go though the above exercise with your partner and by yourself related to whatever is causing the freaking out.

* * *

See? Was that not an awesome exercise?? The best way to go about it is actually have your partner ask you the questions verbally. Answer them out loud, write down your answers if you like. That can actually be helpful for looking back on when your sweetie is out on the town and you are at home freaking out. Re-read your answers (as I intend to) and they may provide some comfort in the situation.

None of the stuff I wrote up there is new to me. I knew all that stuff already, but I think getting it out in that format really clicked with me on a more profound level than just going over it in my head.

It also forces you to rationalize your feelings rather than just running around with that gross feeling in your stomach going “OHNOZ! OHNOZ! I’m Jealous! OHNOZ” like a psychotic animal.

I am at the point where I feel that next step it to tell Jack to go for it, and push through any emotional distress to get to the other side. Who knows how I will feel once it occurs. Perhaps the build up and anxiety will all be for not, and my imagination is so much worse than the reality. Perhaps there will be a tremendous fall out and I will discover that really, poly is not for me. The fact is I don’t KNOW for sure. There is only one way to find out, take the plunge.

I am sure there will be more on this, possibly lots more in the very near future. I am just going to close my eyes, hold on tight, and roll with it.

*Rockne S. O’Bannon

The Calgary Stampede 2007

The Calgary Stampede is less than two weeks away! I am already getting pumped for it, since Jack and I are going to be able to take in quite a bit of the festivities this year.

I am looking forward to seeing Hinder and Good Charlotte preform. Anyone else planning to come out for those concerts? I really can hardly wait.

This year I was hoping that someone would want to come on the rides with me, particularly the spinny ones the flip you upside down. Jack gets motion sickness, so he prefers not to join me, but I just LOVE the midway, I am such an adrenalin junkie. P loves rides too so she has generously offered to be my date for the rides this year! We both wanna get those unlimited rides passes and really enjoy the midway! Last year I managed to drag K onto two of them but he bitched and complained both before and after, and I’m not in the mood for that.

Jack enjoys playing the games on the midway. One year we went to the Stampede and he won me several stuffed animals, including a huge blue wrinkle dog. I was totally wooed by that since no guy had ever gone to that much trouble just to get me a stuffed animal before, it was super sweet.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the weather is nice on the evenings we are able to go. Last year it was gorgeous the days that I went, so here’s hoping for more of the same.

Don’t get me started on the food at the Stampede! P mentioned mini donuts today while I was chatting with her and then we got going on all the delicious things there are to eat. I am going to remain responsible about my eating, as hard as that might be, and only allow myself a couple of treats, like the mini donuts and maybe a caramel apple.

Looking forward to the awesome fireworks shows they have every night as well! Maybe I’ll take some video of that to post here (yes, more of my thrilling YouTube contributions, HA HA).

Since it’s probably going to be my last Stampede for a long while, I am going to take full advantage of it this year and have a fabulous time. The invitation is open to anyone who wants to meet up and hang out there, get in touch via your usual methods.

O'My Natural Personal Lubricant<br />” /></a>My very first lubricant review, thanks to <a href=Pleasure Me Now. I have something of a love/hate relationship with lubricant, so I was quite keen to give O’My Natural Personal Lubricant a run.

I went through nearly 6 months of anal sex without ever using lubricant. I’ve never needed to use it for vaginal sex because I am the polar opposite of ‘vaginal dryness’ and I don’t think I was even aware of lubricant during my late teens when I started experimenting with males.

Jack was the first guy who ever bothered with lube when it came to ass fucking. I remember being so relieved, here I was thinking that anal was supposed to be excruciating. Since then I’ve tried my share of different kinds of lube. KY is at the top of my list of favorites, with astroglide being my mortal enemy. It burns when applied to delicate areas and I have no idea why.

Anyway, in order to test this product enough to come to an adequate conclusion, we put it through three different situations:

Jack using it as lubricant with a masturbator sleeve - The lubricant was adequate, didn’t dry out too fast or become too sticky. A couple of pumps from the handy dispensing top, and he was good to go.

Anal Sex - Trying lubricant for anal sex usually makes it or breaks it for me. I am quite sensitive back there, most lubricants cause me irritation. O’My held up, it didn’t burn or itch or otherwise make me squirm uncomfortably. I would say it’s as good as KY Jelly and it didn’t become all icky and sticky before we finished off. I appreciate the fact that it’s natural and neither flavoured nor scented.

Vaginal Fisting - While I don’t require lube for vaginal sex or while using sex toys, I do need it for fisting. My own lubricant is too thin to provide a slick enough entry for Jack’s monster sized hand. I got myself relaxed and turned on before we began. I laid back and relaxed and let Jack do his thing (he’s very experienced and totally capable when it comes to fisting). I am not sure if it had anything to do with the lubricant but I didn’t feel like we managed it as easily as we sometimes do. I’d rather chalk that up to my body than to insufficient lubrication. I did not feel like there was any dryness below, and I don’t think Jack had to apply more lubricant than usual, which is a good sign.

All in all we really liked this lubricant. It’s made with hemp seed oil and ginseng, and being all natural it appeals to people who are sensitive to the chemicals found in other lubes (like me). It also comes in a variety of flavours for the more adventurous among us.

This Product Receives:

5 Out Of 5

Eventually all of our battery (or otherwise) operated friends reach the end of their pleasure-providing lives. Some are here for a good time, not a long time, and some of them see us through years of frantic masturbation and sex. Since I feature so many products on my site I thought I would share with you how long (or short) some of the lasted me. This list will be updated as needed.

LayaSpotLayaSpot: Ah my darling LayaSpot. How I loved you while you were working properly! Sadly you only lasted about 5-6 months before you began acting oddly. If I left batteries in you (something I do not recommend) you would turn on spontaniously, as if calling me to use you. Eventually your controls became stuck on one speed and I was unable to turn you up, down, or off. What a sad day when I plunked you into the garbage like so much soiled tissue. Thanks for the good times my little elastomed wonder.

Silicone Beaded MatadorCock Ring: You had so much potential, and yet you crapped out before we even got to use you once. Such a disappointment that you were barely active a few moments before your vibrating bullet sputtered to a stop and never started again. I wish you had been better because I looked forward to your arrival for several weeks, only to be let down by the lack of performance.

UltimeUltime: You were so unique when I saw you amongst all of those other G-Spot vibrators. I wished for you for months, pining away over your image late at night, wondering how you would feel nestled snugly between my thighs. It was nearly a dream come true when you arrived on my doorstep in your classy frosted plastic box. Eagerly I pulled you from the packaging to caress your soft blue curves. I put batteries in you and flicked you on. It was just like I imagined as you hummed to life in my hand. We had one amazing night together. I won’t forget the internal and external stimulation you provided all at one. It was like heaven. Certainly you had flaws. Your hard plastic body and the germ-collecting seam that ran along your length, but it was nothing a condom couldn’t fix. The next time I went to turn you on I got no response. No longer would you purr for my attention. There was something wrong inside of you that could not be fixed. At least we had that one amazing night.

Tilt MasterTilt Master: What fun we had with you. My party guests loved to imitate lewd acts on you, and my children found you a brilliant and fun piece of furniture. I loved your soft velvety feel under my naked ass, I loved that you had handles which I could grasp in the heat of an earth quaking orgasm. You were so odd to look at, sort of like an enormous black packing peanut, but inside you were so much more. In the end the strain of our relationship became too much for you and you exploded under the pressure. I will always have fond memories of you and our times together.

I hope you found this list amusing. Click on any of the images to check out my review of that product.

The Ride Of Your Life!We are enjoying a quiet and relaxed weekend here at the House Of Jack & Shasta. It’s been great just taking it easy and spending time together.

Friday night, after the kids were in bed, I filled our mammoth-sized jacuzzi with nice hot water. I lit all the little candles I have around the bathroom, and then opened a bottle of Canadian ice wine (if you don’t know what ice wine is or how it’s different from regular wine, I really suggest checking out the link. It’s an interesting read). Ice wine is a special treat, since it’s quite expensive (around $45 for 12.5 oz/1.5 cups) but so worth every penny! If you are a wine enthusiast and you’ve never tried it, I encourage you to splurge on a bottle at least once in your life.

Jack came upstairs and we stripped down and got into the tub. I dropped a Lush sex bomb into the water and sat back and closed my eyes. The smell of it was intoxicating, and we talked and laughed while sipping our wine. I turned on the jets once the bath bomb had dissolved and the swirling, steaming water quickly washed away the stresses of the week. Jack and I relaxed and shared quite a sweet and romantic half hour together, kissing and touching and nuzzling each other. It was wonderful.

Once we started to get sleepy we drained the tub and crawled into bed together, where we made love and then fell asleep pressed against each other.

Yesterday afternoon we have V and M over for BBQ and margaritas! I made some delicious chicken skewers, marinated in a sweet soy ginger sauce. I bought some Indian naan bread and whipped up some fresh hummus to go with it. We also had grilled veggies and Cesar salad, and homemade blueberry pie for dessert.

I made many batches of strawberry margaritas from scratch. I bought some really cute margarita glasses to serve them in, and they tasted SOOOOOO good. V, Jack, and I got good and giddy (M doesn’t drink but he indulged me and had a small margarita with us). Eventually I got tired of mixing up margaritas and then I made two or three batches of long-island iced tea which went down too easy. We watched America’s Got Talent and laughed and laughed, and then I pulled up some David Hasselhoff music videos on YouTube so we could laugh some more. My stomach was killing me, and I’m sure you could hear V and I laughing for miles around. We had such a fantastic time. As M put it, good food, great company, what more could you want?

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, M and V decided to head home (M was driving of course, V was by far too drunk, LOL). We bid them a good night and then headed to bed. I hardly remember falling asleep, we were so tired I think we were both out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

This morning we made love again, which is by far the best way to start the day.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend. I am gearing up for what could be a really fun week, with possibly some more kid-free time!

*Marc Laidlaw

Click on any of the pictures to see larger versions. There is also a set available on my Flickr account containing additional photos.

Niagara FallsI had the absolute best time of my life on vacation in Ontario. Jack and I decided that before the move it would be nice to get away from it all, let the kids have some time with family, and go on a holiday. I wanted him to show me around Ontario and the area where we will be living, as well as some of the sights around there, like Niagara Falls and Yonge Street in downtown Toronto. It was sort of planned last-minute, but I had such a wonderful time.

Niagara FallsI arrived at the Toronto airport and Jack was there to meet me (he was out there already for some work-related reasons) and he looked so cute and excited when I came through the gate. I got a huge kiss and a hug, and then he led me out of the terminal to where he was parked. The first thing I noticed was the humidity, even so early in the morning it was hot and the air felt heavy and damp. I loved it, I adore the heat, I would live in Mexico year-round if I could!

We stopped by the hotel he was staying at, to drop off my luggage. We hardly got in the door before we were pawing each others clothes off and falling into bed together. After orgasms and a quick nap we got dressed and headed south, towards Niagara.

Niagara FallsHe took me through Hamilton, and then on a long drive through the country. We talked the whole way, enjoying each others company and the gorgeous scenery. After we arrived in Niagara Falls the first thing we noticed was all of the strip clubs. There were like three of them in a row, and then a ‘massage parlour’ that was obviously offering more than just a back rub to it’s male clientele. Apparently Niagara Falls draws a lot of perverted tourists from the US, where stripping is more strictly regulated. Who would have thought. We didn’t visit any of them but I had to laugh at how obvious they are, as opposed to clubs here which could pass for regular bars on the outside.

We parked near the falls and walked down the hill to get a closer look. I’d never been there before, although Jack has. It was…magnificent.

I took some video, and uploaded it to YouTube. I’ve never really tried that before, so forgive me for how short and unexciting they are.

Niagara FallsWe sauntered along the walk that runs along beside the falls. There weren’t too many people there, and the weather was gorgeous. We could feel the gentle spray from the water, and there were seagulls flying everywhere. I paused often along the railing to take photos. There was a beautiful rainbow, created by the bright sun and all of the water in the air. Jack and I held hands and he told me about visiting Niagara when he was younger. I loved every minute of being there with him. I am looking forward to taking a ride on the Maid Of The Mist, and seeing the falls at night when they are all lit up. I promise pictures from that, as well as some in the winter time when everything is partially frozen.

FountainWe went for lunch at this fantastic little out-of-the-way sushi place. It sort of looked like a dive from outside, but inside the decor was clean and simple. The sushi was fresh and delicious, made right there in front of you. I enjoyed it a great deal, very yummy.

Afterwards Jack took me on a tour of wine country. There were orchards and vineyards as far as you could see. It was amazing. I saw a lot of large wineries with familiar names, such as Jackson Triggs and Peller Estates. Jack promised we would take a wine tour sometime soon after we move. I actually did not like wine at all until I started dating Jack. He introduced me to different wines, and eventually got an idea of what I like (I prefer sweet white wines, and the occasional red that isn’t too dry).

VineyardWine country is gorgeous, I think I might like to own a vineyard someday. As the sun went down, Jack took me for a walk along Lake Ontario. He held my hand and we stood on the rocky shore and looked out over the vast waters. You couldn’t see the other side, which is odd to me when it comes to a lake. The sunset was incredible, and it was quite romantic (even to someone as cynical as I am) to walk along, hand in hand.

We drove to Mississauga for a late supper at Milestone’s Bar And Grill. We shared a couple of glasses of delicious white wine from Peller Estates, and I had a dish which consisted of grilled salmon, the best grilled shrimp I’d ever tasted, fresh mango salsa, pineapple rice, and mixed veggies. It was on the expensive side, but totally worth it. For dessert we shared a piece of chocolate torte made with a crushed pecan crust. It was fantastic, made with bittersweet chocolate and served with a homemade caramel sauce.

Lake OntarioThe next day Jack drove us into downtown Toronto, to explore the city. We parked near the SkyDome (Rogers Center) and then made our way over to Yonge Street. He and I wandered our way down, looking at shops and watching people. It was SOOOOOOO hot! I was loving the weather.

Jack took me into Eaton Center to look around. WOW! What a very cool mall, there was so much to see there. I think we walked around for hours. Jack bought me a skirt at Old Navy, since it was too hot to wear much else. I can’t wait to take V shopping there once she moves!

CN TowerEventually we made our way back to the street and Jack took me to this park area with a fountain (see image and video below). We sat down and drank some water and enjoyed the sunshine. There were loads of pigeons (which I think are adorable) and seagulls everywhere. We decided that we were hungry and that it was time for some supper.

We went to a really awesome seafood restaurant called Lucy’s Kitchen. We ordered scallops wrapped in bacon and I had the most incredible salad, with calamari, scallops, and grilled shrimp. It was super tasty.

Another day was spent in the area we are moving to, just outside of Toronto. Jack showed me all around so that I would be able to find important things like the grocery store and the hospital. We had a really great lunch at Turtle Jack’s and then picked up some fresh fruit at the store for snacking on at the hotel.

Hockey Hall Of FameOne morning we went for Dim Sum at this really fantastic place in Mississauga. We sat in this big room and women came around pushing carts laden with steamer baskets and plates covered in tasty little nibbles. We had deep fried squid, shrimp balls, pork dumplings, and a number of other things (and I’m not sure what most of them were, LOL). I was interested to find out that Dim Sum is more of a breakfast thing for Chinese peoples. Not sure that I could handle eating so much meat first thing in the morning myself. It was very very good at any rate.

Downtown TorontoThere were loads of huge black squirrels in Ontario. One climbed right up onto the balcony of the hotel. Jack kept making fun of me because I wanted to take pictures of them all the time, HA HA. I found them adorable.

The shopping out there is amazing. I cannot wait until I am finished my weight loss because I saw so many cute clothes! Wandering around the malls there is sort of like visiting West Edmonton Mall (minus the pool/hotel/amusement park). They have all the trendiest shops and they are way ahead of western Canada as far as styles go.

Downtown TorontoI got to see the house we bought. I love it more and more every time I see it. We are splurging on top of the line appliances again, since I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and enjoy cooking so much. People think we are crazy to have stainless steel appliances (because of the finger prints) but I think they look sleek and sexy, and it’s not that hard to just wipe them down whenever you notice prints on them.

The only think I am not going to have in the new house that I have here is a gigantic bathtub. We are still getting a large, corner, jetted tub so it’s not like I am getting stuck with a regular tub. However, our current bathtub is large enough to hold a small cow. It empties our entire hot water tank (just running the water hot, no cold until the hot water runs out) just getting it half-full. That’s actually a good thing since once you get two people in there the water level is just right.

Fountain In TorontoOn one sunny afternoon Jack drove me the length of the beach near downtown Toronto. There were many sailboats out on the water, and people were all over the beach, sunning and roller blading. My tan got even better while I was there. It was sunny and hot the entire time. Even the one afternoon that it rained, it was still humid and warm outside. The rain was even warm! Jack told me that he intends to make love to me outside in the rain at the first opportunity. Naturally that made me quiver with anticipation.

Park In MississaugaSo many wonderful memories were made during my time there. I really cannot wait to be moved out there, I know we are going to enjoy the area and all of the interesting things to see and do. Jack has promised to buy me a new mountain bike so that I can ride all over the city. It will be a good way to learn where things are, and fabulous exercise for me! I want to get one of those chariots for pulling behind, so I can take the kids with me, and also for picking up fresh fruit and vegetables at the farmers market on Saturdays.

I had a wonderful weekend/week and I’ve returned feeling refreshed and excited. I’ve also lost 10 pounds since I started my diet/exercise plan! Many people have already commented about how good I am looking, and it makes me feel sooooooo good.

I don’t think I’ve been this happy before. Sure I have a few moments of sadness here and there, but all in all, it just doesn’t get any better than this.

Rain On MeSome weeks ago I had a moment with myself concerning our relocation to Toronto.

By having a moment I mean I got angry. Really angry and upset and bitter.

The idea of the move made me recoil with sadness and irritation. I thought about how unfair it all is, how cruel and inconsiderate life is being. I cursed the company that Jack is working for, I bitched internally over the fact that it couldn’t have happened here in Alberta.

Why Toronto? Why so far away from family and friends and everything familiar?

Please understand that I know what a really fantastic opportunity this is for us. I know that this move is the right thing for us, a wonderful chance to see more of our country and to get to know new people and places. In my soul I know that we are making the very best choice.

Sometimes choices are painful. Even though I had a moment of significant resentment and disappointment, I still know that we are going to be very happy in our new province, community, and house.

Permit me to have the odd temper tantrum if you will.

Despite how much I am looking forward to moving, I am still grieving the loss of people and places that I love. Letting go of my closest friends, all of my family, my dream house, the plans I had for the future…it hurts deeply.

Instead of jumping up and down and screaming I had a nice long shower, where I cried and cried, until there were no tears or sadness left in me. It all washed down the drain like so much soap and water. I felt better afterwards, and I still do.

As I looked out of the plane window on my way back home, it occurred to me that soon home will be in the other direction and I will just be going for a visit the next time I travel this way. My heart is a little sad, but we’ll make it. As long as I have Jack, my children, and eventually my best friend, I can make it anywhere.

One of my goals for 2007 was to eat at 10 new restaurants, and thus far I have almost doubled that number. Tonight over seared tuna I hit #15. Life is…wonderful. I don’t think it gets any better than this. So far on this trip I have enjoyed fine sushi, pineapple rice, absolutely amazing dim sum, grilled seafood, and as I mentioned, a wonderful seared tuna. There was more, oh YES was there more. Naturally in reasonable portions combined with plenty of sight-seeing in order to keep my weight loss on track.

I’ve had more fun so far this weekend/week than I have in a long time. Jack and I are enjoying so much alone time, we are playful and care-free, which is a nice change from the normal stress of life. He has spoiled me to no end! Catering to my every whim and desire, making me feel like a terribly spoiled princess.

He took me shopping yesterday and bought me a beautiful long, white peasant skirt. I didn’t pack appropriately for the heat and I needed something lighter to wear, so off to the mall we went. Not just any mall, but an enormous mall filled with more incredible shopping than I could imagine. He bought me a skirt and let me look through every shoe store I cared to go to.

I’m getting ahead of myself, I only wanted to put up a quick post before Jack and I fall into bed again. I’ll give you the whole story (and pictures!) in a couple of days. Happy Monday All!