Stiletto Diaries

I’m Not A Whore. I’m A Relationship Technician.

Archive for September, 2006

Rabbit VibratorI was recently contacted by The Rabbit Lady of The Rabbit Vibrator website, who generously offered to let me test drive one of the toys her site offers. After perusing the tantalizing selections, I finally settled on the WaterProof iVibe Rabbit Vibrator. I seriously considered the Internet Enabled Rabbit Vibe, because that is just SO cool, but I decided that being able to take a toy in the shower would be more useful.

The anticipation while I waited for that package to arrive was terrible. The moment that Jack brought it in from the mailbox I could hardly control myself. I tore open the packaging and stared in awe at the impressive purple phallus. Since the kids were still awake I had to tuck it away until later.

We finally got the kids to bed and I raced upstairs to get my new toy. It’s rather heavy, compared to some other vibrators, but I imagine it would have to be in order to manage all the impressive functions it can preform.

Fuck My PussyI cleaned it off (always wise before you try out a new toy) and put the required 4 AA batteries into the end of the handle.

Jack volunteered to help me try it out (what a Saint that man is, putting up with all the dirty work I make him do *snickering*). We headed upstairs and got down to business.

Product testing can be such hard work! HA HA

We figured out what all the buttons do before taking it near my netherbits. There are two sets of ‘off’ and ‘on’ buttons, one set for the vibrating “ears” and another set for the shaft. Those buttons also serve to increase or decrease the intensity or speed of the vibration of the ears or the swiveling of the shaft. There are also three ‘function’ buttons which are pre-set to make the vibrator do different things.

WaterProof iVibe RabbitThe shaft can rotate all the way around or swivel from side to side while the ears tickle your clitoris with vibration or pulsation. You can control the shaft and the ears independently, which is excellent.

Once we figured out which buttons did what it was time to give that baby a test run!

I laid back and relaxed while Jack got the Rabbit started and pushed it gently into my pussy. He turned the shaft on to rotate and set the ears to low vibration. When they initially brushed against my clit I thought I was going to climb the walls. The dual sensation of the shaft and the vibration was really incredible.

While I was groaning and panting Jack tried out some of the different functions. I think that I liked the first setting, with the head rotating inside of me and the rabbit ears on medium intensity.

Sex Toys Are FunApparently it only took minutes for me to reach orgasm (Jack was timing). I came long and hard, it was so intense I was left breathless and satisfied.

I think I have a new favorite toy!

As far as some of the more practical aspects, this thing is big and it weighs a fair amount. You definitely cannot take it places with you unless you have a large purse. Not that I would recommend using it any place public, since it is rather loud. If you just use the vibrating rabbit ears you’re ok, but get the shaft moving and you can certainly hear it if you’re standing across the room.

Since this model is waterproof it’s SUPER easy to clean. I wash my toys with a gentle antibacterial soap, and it’s nice to be able to scrub it without worrying about getting moisture in the motor. When they say waterproof they actually guarantee it. I turned it on and dropped it into a bathtub of warm water to check for any air bubbles (in order for water to get into a toy, air has to be forced out). It just rumbled away at the bottom of the tub, no escaping air could be seen.

Rabbit Vibrator Pussy ShotThis is not the toy you use when you want a quickie orgasms. It’s more for prolonged enjoyment, alone or with a partner (or several partners for that matter).

Would I recommend this vibrator? Most definitely! At around $100.00 (USD) it’s a bit of an investment, but it’s made by Doc Johnson so you know it’s going to last you. It’s a pretty impressive piece of equipment, and with sex toys you really do get what you pay for.

When the Rabbit vibrators first made their appearance on the adult toy scene they were highly popular. I mean everyone was talking about them (yes I happen to keep up on the trends). Now I can see why! I warn you about purchasing a cheap knock-off, because it’s not going to last you if you only pay $25 bucks for it. Go cheap on things that don’t have any moving parts. If it’s motorised you want it to be well made.

Guys, if you want to get your girl an awesome Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary/Valentine’s gift (and she is the type that likes getting sex toys as gifts) you’ll score points if you get her a Rabbit Vibrator.

This Product Receives:

5 Out Of 5

As an end note, I hope everyone also enjoyed the pictures. Consider them this week’s contribution to HNT. I was very nervous about posting pussy pictures, so show me some love for being brave and putting them up.

Well kiddos, wheels are turning behind the scenes at Stiletto Diaries.

I may be getting my own hosting for the humble blog, since Blogger has irritating limitations, and as things evolve and the blog becomes increasingly part of my real life, I want to make it more professional as it were.

So, I am surfing through hosting options. So far I am seriously looking at and I would LOVE to hear from anyone out there who might use them for hosting. Also, anyone who uses WordPress in combination with independent hosting, let me know how you like it.

I have also discovered that someone pathetic owns!!! Argh the fury!

Actually I am looking at this as perhaps an opportunity to reinvent this blog and myself. I want to expand this blog, make it better.

I was just saying to LD that I didn’t put a lot of thought into having SG as an alias on here, and now I want something different. I might be doing at least one speaking engagement on poly here in Calgary, and I don’t want to use my real name, nor do I want to go by ‘SG’.

So far the name I am considering the most seriously is: Shasta

I like this name. I want a name that is either charming or sensual, or both. I think Shasta is quite charming.

I am looking at Goddess Names as well for ideas.

Stiletto Diaries as a blog name might be getting a makeover as well. I don’t know, this blog started off very focused on sex, and although it is still quite sexual, it is also a lot of other things. I don’t know that ‘SD’ still suits my purpose.

So, if anyone has blog names or personal names that you think might be awesome, I would love to hear them! I think that our collective creativity would be more productive than me coming up with something on my own.

Happy Hump Day!

Worry not about my last post, however pathetic and depressing as it was (not to mention short, LOL). It was a fragment in time that passed without incident. Damned menstruation and it’s tendency to muck with my emotional stability.

Today is Monday! The start of a new week, and the last day of my monthly pain the the uterus.

Life is good. My weekend was fabulous (save the momentary lapse which made it’s appearance on the blog). Friday night I went to an excellent back yard bonfire party with V and K. The night air was crisp, the company was good, P had way too much to drink, puked a dozen times, and passed out on the grass. However before her intestinal gymnastics, we had an excellent chat. I think I like that girl more and more, especially when she is drinking, LOL. I felt badly for her, we were all novice drinkers at one time or another. Jack recalled fondly a night that I had too much vodka and then ate a shrimp ring (the entire thing, except for the half dozen I made him eat off of various parts of my body). Shrimp and vodka, when forced to socialize in the stomach in vast quantities, tend not to get along. They eventually trashed the place and exited hastily through the passageway clearly marked ‘entrance only’.

But I digress…

On Sunday I got to spend much of the day with V and K. The three of us went for lunch at The Vicious Circle [I would recommend ordering the spinach dip, pot stickers, and a Blue Hawaiian] and afterwards tried to go for Bubble Tea but sadly the place we wanted to go was closed.

I hauled V out to my place for supper and then drove her back into the city later in the night. I stopped by K’s after I left her house to drop something off, and ended up staying to chat much longer than I intended. It was good, we were playful with each other, things are starting to feel more natural again. I think that is a huge relief for both of us, things don’t feel like they are gradually going to hell.

By the time I got home Jack was already in bed. Sometimes I just lie there and watch him sleeping. If I am angry with him I will contemplate smothering him with a pillow (I actually tried that once, in play, but he woke up, tackled me to the bed, and had his way with me). Too bad I am not angry with him more often ;) Tee Hee.

Speaking of weekends, quite a number of exciting things coming up in the next little while. The first weekend of October a friend of mine has invited me to a kink event in Calgary, which I will hopefully be able to go to. We are also hosting Thanksgiving Dinner on the 9th for some of our friends, and I have never cooked a turkey before but I am excited about that! The following weekend is the Kinky Flea Market which Jack has agreed to go to this time around. I am really pumped about that as well!

At some point V and I need to spend a day shopping for Halloween costumes. I am going as a Geisha this year, so getting an outfit together for that will be fun.

I also want to save up some money to get my next tattoo, which I have been planning for a while. Maybe someone will offer to pay for it as a Christmas gift *bats eyelashes adoringly* (OK I know I am terribly obvious, HA HA).

I hope everyone had a good weekend and I wish you a good week! Ta Ta :D


You know what is worse than being miserable?

Being miserable and alone.

Despite what you might think my life is not always perfect and exciting.

Sometimes I still loath myself

On Sunday I convinced O and her friend and V to come with me for waxing :D It was V’s second time, my third, and O and her friend had never done it before.

I think that O and her friend were a little traumatised by it. It hurts like a bitch the first time, but they were fairly brave about it. I don’t think that either of them will ever go back though, LOL.

V said that hers was WAY better than the first time, and I had minimal pain for mine. I am so glad I gave up shaving.

Afterwards the four of us girls met Jack for supper at The Olive Garden. It was fun, and the food of course was really good.

I think I have converted V to waxing now :) As long as we keep going every five weeks it’ll be fine.

I know I have made you wait an entire week to hear about the adventure that ensued after I auctioned myself off on the blog. If it makes you feel any better, the project in my house turned out awesome! Also I’ve been at my mum’s house for a few days, so no access to blogging.

Now I have the time AND the inclination to fill you in, so here it is:

At about 5ish on Thursday night O gave me a call and laid out the first part of my instructions for the night. She asked me if I would mind making dinner for her and a few of her friends. Of course I said that would be great, since I love cooking. Of course there was a bit of a catch :P She wanted it to be something fancy, but it had to be quick to make and suitable to be packed up for transportation to who knows where. Well that didn’t make it difficult or anything, LOL [note the heavy sarcasm, HA HA HA]. So I scrambled around looking through recipes and making a grocery list. Not to mention gathering up a few things I thought I would need. O also added that I was to wear something nice, and to pack with me an outfit that was a little trashy, and a vibrator. I know, that last part made me rather nervous.

So I was dashing around like a maniac so that I would not be late (I was meeting her at 6:15 to buy groceries). However, due to traffic and the weather and poor planning on my part, I was running behind her schedule. She said that I would be punished at some point for that.

We picked up groceries and then went to her friend’s apartment. He’s a single guy and his kitchen equipment left something to be desired. I just want to add here that I really LOATH having to cook in strange kitchens, LOL. Especially under such an incredibly tight time limit. I had to be finished everything and be ready to leave for my next event in 45 minutes.

I seriously felt like I was in an episode of Iron Chef, which is actually VERY thrilling for me, even though it’s stressful. Seriously, cooking under those circumstances is like an extreme sport for me, I get a huge adrenalin rush.

So I was still running a tiny bit late when O packed up a picnic basket with part of the food and sent me off to a tea house in the area. She stayed and had dinner with her friend while I went off to find out what else she had in store for me.

I arrived at the tea house and the only instructions I had were to go inside. I did so, hoping that it would be clear from there what I had to do next. I walked in the back door just as one of my favorite males walked in the front door. I was relieved to tell you the truth, I hadn’t been sure what to expect, it was nice to see someone familiar.

He told me that he had to take me back to his place for the next part O’s plan. I just laughed and wondered to myself what exactly I had gotten myself into.

We went to his place where he made me wait in his room while he made whatever preparations he had to make. After a few minutes he came into the room, made me stand up, took all of my clothes off, and then led me to his bathroom. There were candles, incense, and a tub filled with hot water and bubbles. I felt oddly shy, but he made me get into the tub and then he bathed me while I giggled nervously. It was really very sweet and I enjoyed it immensely. He also spoiled me with a nice back massage. We didn’t have a lot of time before the next event on the schedule was to take place so we got out of the tub, he toweled me off, and then lured me into his bed for a few moments of risque indulgence.

Suddenly an alarm went off and it was time for me to go. I got dressed in a hurry and gulped down the cup of tea he had made me. He accompanied me to my next destination since it was downtown and I didn’t want to get lost. Just to give you an idea about how really frantic everything was, it was 9:30 by then. So about half-way through the night really.

As soon as he made sure I knew where I was and where I was going he dashed off and left me alone. O had instructed me to take the picnic basket to eBadger’s place of employment and have dinner with him there. I was very nervous, I wanted to make a good impression. I walked into the building and he was standing there. He saw me and asked if I was there for O. I said “No, I’m here for you”. The look on his face was quite priceless.

We sat down and ate. He complimented me on the food and we talked about cooking. I enjoy eBadger’s company very much, I find him really interesting.

Before too long we were approached by an older gentleman. You might know him as the man who placed a bid as Z. He was there to take me to the Leonard Cohen movie. We left eBadger and went into the theater. We chatted briefly before the start of the movie, as we had never met prior to this.

The film was actually better than I expected. Z made a few advances during that were surprising and slightly uncomfortable. I was trying not to be rude, but I was not expecting him to be so forward. After an hour and a half of a rather bland documentary and trying to fend off Mr. Grabby Hands, I was rather relieved to leave.

O met us in the lobby and sent Z on his way because the next stage of her plan was being set into motion. She took me to my car to drop off the things I had left from the cooking portion of the evening. She had me bring my backpack which contained my change of clothes and the vibrator (my layaspot for those that are interested). While we were dashing down the sidewalk I related to her what happened with Z and she was obviously quite pleased, teasing me that she had told me I would be punished for being late.

She led me into this pub and told me to go into the bathroom and change clothes and to get myself aroused. I know that I must have turned several shades of red. I changed clothes but I just could not bring myself to git down with my vibrator in the bathroom of all places. I made a half-hearted attempt but I knew there was no way I was going to get horny under those circumstances.

She met me coming out of the bathroom and gave me the gin and 7up I had ordered on the way in. She told me to drink it quickly and then I had to leave. I did not really find it odd that she dismissed me so abruptly, after all, it was 12:30am by that time. I finished my drink, thanked her for providing me such a wonderful evening, and left the pub. I walked out the door and straight into Jack who was waiting for me with a bouquet of roses and lilies. We both laughed out loud and hugged. It was very nice to have him be there at the end of the night.

We went home and ate some of the leftovers from dinner that O had sent home with me. Then we stripped down and curled up together in bed.

The entire night was just incredible. I had so much fun. I would volunteer to do it all over again.


Everybody Knows

I don’t have time to blog the details of last night. You’ll have to wait until my reno project is furthur along.

I can tell you that my night was an unpredictable, action-packed, fun-filled adventure and a half. I want to thank O for all the trouble she went to coordinating it. I seriously had a blast.

I’d like to thank everyone who played along in her little schemes. eBadger, you were charming. Mysterious, thank you for the pampering. Even though you were not the Master Planner, thank you Jack for being part of the surprise. You guys all made it a night I will never, ever forget.

I promise all the details will be posted as soon as I can manage it.

Right now I have a 5 gallon pail of mortar and several dangerous power tools waiting for me. Caio.


Thank you to everyone who bid on the auction. I honestly did not expect so many people to participate, and I’ll admit I am deeply flattered.

I am grateful for every offer that was made, and I would like to extend rain cheques to anyone who would wish to accept that. Thank you all, you are wonderful.

The winner of the auction is the beautiful and mysterious O. How could I refuse an offer such as hers. I will admit, I am slightly nervous. I trust her implicitly, and I think that whatever she might have in store for me by way of having all the control, it will be a wonderful and thrilling ride.

Thanks again one and all who put up such excellent offers of fun and adventure.

I am sure I shall have much to blog about tomorrow, if I am allowed to reveal the happenings of the night that is ;)

I am borrowing this idea from the brilliant eBadger.

I have just been given several hours of free time tomorrow [Thursday, September 14th] evening, from about 6pm to midnight. This is a rare event in my life and instead of tracking down someone(s) to spend that block of time with, I am going to do something slightly different.

I am auctioning it off to the highest bidder here on my humble blog.

Bidding will commence as soon as this post goes up on my blog and will close at 1:00pm tomorrow [Thursday] afternoon.

Bids should be offers of company and activities that the bidder will do with me between 6pm and midnight tomorrow evening. I will chose the winner and offer rain cheques to the runners up. The winning bidder we be contacted by me via e-mail or phone as soon as the auction closes (if you don’t think I have your phone number, please leave some sort of contact information along with your bid).

You may begin ;)

I’ve been meaning to post here for a few days now, but lack of time, lack of motivation, and problems with Blogger Beta have prevented that from happening. Ah well, I’m here now and I have quite a few things to talk about.

First of all, if any of you have stopped by K’s blog very recently I am sure you are wondering what the hell is going on. He has shared his thoughts and now I will elaborate a bit on the situation and share mine.

To start at the beginning, over the summer I have felt like something was not right somewhere in my relationship picture. I passed it off as PMS, or stress, or whatever seemed logical at the time. The nagging in the back of my brain didn’t let up however. I spoke to V about it, and to Padme, in an effort to figure out the source. Nothing seemed to make sense of it.

When everything between K and P (the other woman) came about I sort of forgot about the odd feeling because I was upset about what was going on with that. To clarify about my distress, since I seem to confuse some people with it. I was under the impression from K that he was going to take his relationship with P slowly. She is young, she is inexperienced, she has issues with poly. That is not the sort of person who is ready to jump right in. Since she didn’t seem to know any better I expected K to consider her best interests, as well as mine and how it would effect our relationship. He did not do that in my opinion, and it pissed me off. As I clarified recently to someone who asked: When someone gets involved with me or K or Jack, they become part of our relationship. We do not keep things separated, it’s all a big group type effort. I felt he was thinking with his dick instead of his brain and I was disappointed in him for that. I expected better. Ultimately she couldn’t handle him being poly. Their relationship lasted a week from start to finish.

All that aside, since then I have been thinking again about my unsettling feeling and I came to the conclusion that I have become somewhat overwhelmed by my relationship with K. It has started to feel like an obligation, instead of a desire.

Before you start thinking I am a horrid bitch, let me explain further.

K is pretty needy when it comes to relationships. He does have expectations that I will want to talk to him every day (sometimes eating up hours of my time) and that I will want to see him once a week as per our schedule. K has a lot more free time on his hands than I do, so he really misses me when I’m not around. My life on the other hand is a series of days crammed full with as many people and activities as I can manage. I have commitments to Jack, my children, my family, my job, my many friends. Not to mention the things I enjoy doing by myself, such as blogging, home improvement projects, crafts and sewing, etc. Then their is Jack’s work and social life to schedule around. I can’t do high maintenance relationships, it’s just too difficult to meet those expectations in the current state of affairs.

Yes, it’s true that for the first part of our relationship I was just as gungho and excited about it as K. Chalk that up to NRE and the fact that up until a few months ago my life was more dull than it is now. I HAD the time to give him, I had the energy to dote on him and provide him the attention he wants.

Our relationship is also more serious than I think I can handle. Recently K and I have talked about having a handfasting ceremony or something of that nature. K would like to feel that there is some sort of commitment between us, and I just don’t think that I can ever do that. For one thing, unlike a lot of people these days, I take commitment of any type as a HUGE deal. When Jack and I were dating it took me a while to decide if I could make a life commitment to him. I don’t believe in divorce, and if I am going to promise someone that I will spend my life with them, I honestly mean it. The only thing that will separate Jack and I is death. We both feel the same way about it.

I cannot confidently say that the only thing that will separate K and I is death. I am not being pessimistic, but the reality of the situation is that this relationship will end at some point before either of us become a worm farm. K does not agree with me on this, but I wonder if he has thought of how he will feel living the rest of his life in this relationship. Especially if he never finds another partner. He will never be able to live with me, we will never have kids. He will always be a dirty little secret. There will be no going to family functions together, no spending Christmas’ with me or other holidays. There will not be a time (at least not for the next 16 years) that I will be able to see him more than once a week. Our current arrangement is about as good as it’s going to get. That’s it. That’s the reality. I can’t give him any more commitment than I already have.

I also feel that he has become too dependant on me for entertainment, emotional support, and really the source of most of his happiness. It’s not up to me to save him from himself in that case. However, knowing that makes me feel very very pressured to do what I can to keep him happy. Thus I start feeling obligated to see him or talk to him even if I don’t want to. I don’t want to be saddled with the responsibility for his feelings. I hate to see him miserable, but I can’t do that anymore.

I need my relationship with him to back off about 10 paces. I was starting to feel stunted because if I saw someone more than him he got upset. If I wanted to spend time with someone else instead of him he got upset. If I didn’t talk to him daily he got upset. I don’t like to feel like I HAVE to spend time with someone if I don’t want to. Or that I can’t see ‘Person A’ 3 times in a week and K only once without causing major trouble. Or that if I MUST talk to him if I am online, because I know he’ll be pissed if I chat to others and not him. Or if he has to wait on me to reply because I am having conversations with other people. It started to seem like it didn’t matter if I wanted to see him or talk to him, I had to or else he’d be mad.

I didn’t really figure this out until very recently. So now there is a sudden shift happening. Another factor, as odd as it sounds, is my recent Birthday.

Every year when my Birthday rolls around I start reconsidering my Life Game (as O calls it ;) LOL). I reevaluate my priorities, my goals, and figure out what is going to be important to me for my next trip around the sun. Jack can tell you that right around this time every year, something happens and we go through an upheaval. It’s no coincidence that both of our children were conceived within a month of my Birthday. Nor that my first tentative exploration into having an open marriage occurred last year right around this time. Birthday = Time for big change in the world of SG. It’s not always a conscious thing, but it happens too often to be passed off as coincidence.

That is what I have been doing this past week or so. Mulling things over in my head. I’ve decided that my relationship with K right now is too much for me. I just can’t give him the time, energy, or attention that he has come to expect. I want to use some of that time and energy for other things. Housekeeping needs to go higher up on the priority list for sure, so does taking time for myself so that I don’t get burned out. I also wanted more freedom to schedule things in a way that suits me. That means if I feel like going out with LD four days in a week I can do it without a guilt trip. Or if I feel like taking a hiatus from my social life and just holing myself up for a month of alone time I can do that too.

As I said to K, I want SOOOOOOO many things out of life. Ask pretty much anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I am incredibly driven. Once I set my mind to something, it’s gonna happen, come hell or high water. I know what I want, and I will get it. I am also learning more and more to live in the moment. The last few months have taught me a lot about focusing on now and not worrying about the future. I want to live each day like it’s my last, and I want to make every second count. This is not to say that my relationship with K is a waste of time. Not by a long shot, but it’s going to have to give a little because otherwise I will not have time to achieve my other goals, or to explore new things.

This change is hard on K. He’s feeling lost and somewhat abandoned right now. I don’t like to see him sad, but I do not know any other viable options. I don’t think that K believes it right now, but this is going to be good for both of us. Well it will certainly be good for me, whether or not it turns out good for him is really up to K to decide.

So that is where things stand with him and I. Hopefully that made some sense.

I do have more things to talk about but there isn’t time right now and I think this post is long enough.

I am doing a home reno project this weekend so I may or may not be blogging much. It’s Hump Day today, and I intend to get some tail once my big strong male gets home.

Ta Ta my darlings!