Stiletto Diaries

I’m Not A Whore. I’m A Relationship Technician.

Archive for January, 2008

So I guess it’s about time I update you all on the happenings of last weekend.

Friday night was supposed to be my date with the guy, who I’ve just now realised needs a name…

Hmmmmmmm, I am thinking Loki, since it’s a name I’ve always quite liked, and the man in question is a bit of a trickster (he teases me all the time about taking him too seriously).

Anyway, Loki got home Friday night and was feeling decidedly unwell. He said he was going to take something for his stomach and lay down for a bit, in the hopes that he’d get over it. Unfortunately, he was tired from work and totally passed out, not waking up until nearly midnight (I was already in bed with Jack by that time). He felt just awful about it the next day, but I told him not to stress, it happens.

Besides, I was already well into Saturday, which was absolutely fantastic. Nia and I had a wonderful time with our new friend. The second girl was ill that day and had to cancel (must be something going around). We spent the day snapping photos, snacking, and generally hanging out. I got some lovely pictures for the calendar, and the three of us totally hit it off. By the end of the day we ALL had our photos taken, in various states of undress. I even got to flex my Dominant side a bit, with some light play on each of them. Being generous gals they didn’t leave me out, and I spent at least half an hour bent over the arm of a couch with my skirt hiked up around my waist. Mmmmmmm, great times.

It was creeping into the hours of Sunday morning when I crawled into bed with a sore bum and a satisfied smirk.

Sunday was another fun-filled adventure. I took my friend into Toronto’s downtown and we spent hours shopping and laughing. Often she makes me laugh so hard I nearly pass out from lack of oxygen, it’s brilliant.

I didn’t buy anything exciting, just some household goods, but we had a lovely time. She hadn’t been into downtown much, and thought I was amazing for being able to do so without becoming nervous (even after we missed our exit on the 401 and had to backtrack without a map). I drove her through China Town and Portugal Village, and promised we would go to the Banu for vodka in the near future. I would like to try their Zaban (braised cow tongue) and maybe even the lamb testicles if I’m feeling particularly adventurous.

The weekend was lovely, and Loki has tentatively rescheduled our date for this Friday night. Jack, the kids, and I are going on a bit of a road trip Saturday, to spend the night up in cottage country. It will be nice to get away overnight with them. The only downer is that my period is due today which means I’ll likely not feel totally on the ball, LOL.

I can hardly believe that February is already upon us. January passed by so quickly, I could hardly catch my breath. Not that I am complaining, since I can hardly wait for spring to arrive, I’ve had my fill of winter.

*Orson Scott Card

Toy Lust TuesdaysI’ve heard a lot of great things about Tantus silicone toys, and after having a go with the Feeldoe, I was eager to try some of their other items. Thus, the Tantus Silk Medium Dildo came into my possession via Pleasure Me Now. This particular Tantus actually comes in three sizes (small, medium, and larger) and a couple of different colors. They are made out of very high grade silicone, and perfectly smooth to the touch. Very attractive.

This particular design is curved slightly, ideal for prostate stimulation or for stimulating the G-Spot. It’s slender, and the wide base makes it perfectly compatible with most ring-style harnesses. It also provides something to hold on to for manual use, and prevents it from going too far in during anal play.

Tantus Silk DildoJack and I tested out this toy with one of our strap on harnesses and we enjoyed it very much! The silky smooth feel of this toy makes anal very comfortable, and I liked that I could select the perfect size for what we wanted.

Tantus toys are also very easy to clean. A little antibacterial soap and warm water will do it, or you can boil this toy for a couple of minutes (do NOT leave it unattended during that time, it’s easy to forget and ruin your play things).

Another important reminder, never use silicone based lubricant on your silicone toys. Water based lubes are the only type that I recommend for these toys. Please also be sure to keep your toys away from anything sharp which could pierce or otherwise damage the surface of the toy. Nia’s cat chewed on a lovely Tantus butt plug she owned, completely ruining it. Once the surface has been compromised, you can no longer effectively sterilize it.

Used alone or with a harness, this particular Tantus toy is certain to offer you years of anal or vaginal pleasure (provided you care for it well).

This Product Receives:

5 Out Of 5

Dear ShastaHi Shasta!!

I was wondering if you could help me with something. I chose you because of knowing of your polygamous relationships, you’d be able to help.

I am not a polygamous type of guy, have always been a single girl relationship seeker (although x-somes would be fun :)

The reason I am emailing you is because I love my girlfriend, XXXXX. We’ve been going 26 months, and we’ve been through A LOT. There is this one girl though, her name is YYYY, and I swear to God, no matter what I do, I CANNOT get her out of my head. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen…EVER….and she’s single…

I have no idea what to do, and it’s been giving me heartaches, because I have no idea. This have been going on since about Jan-Feb of last year.

Thanks SG!!

Thanks for the e-mail :) First off, one correction: Polygamous means many spouses (usually associated with one man marrying more than one person). My relationship style is Polyamory, which means many loves. These relationships do not have to be really serious, but generally feelings on some level are involved. Just wanted to clear that up :)

Let me ask you if you think XXXXX would be open to the idea of sharing you? Do you think, given the right circumstances, that she could be ok with you loving someone in addition to her? Keep in mind that if she absolutely cannot consider polyamory for your relationship, you are either going to have to leave her to pursue another relationship, or completely give up on YYYY. Either way you need to make a choice, to do what makes you happy.

If you want to try polyamory with XXXXX the first thing you need to do is be completely honest with her about your thoughts and feelings regarding this other woman. Explain to her that while you love and adore her as much as ever, you are ALSO, at the same time, attracted to someone else. Be prepared, she is going to be seriously threatened and angry at first. It could potentially end your relationship.

Is that worth it to you? Is it that important to you to be able to pursue other relationships? You need to ask yourself some hard questions before you go forward with this.

Take Care!


Do you have a question for Dear Shasta? Questions can be submitted via , or posted in the comments section below. Submitted questions will be answered in upcoming Dear Shasta segments. Questions can be on any topic you wish.


Ten To One

Found this on a friends blog and thought it was excellent, particularly while trying to guess if any of his 10 things were directed at me. Steal and re-post as you wish.

Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don’t list names):

1. Often I am terribly envious of you.
2. I know you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for.
3. If I ever wanted a second husband, you’d be my first choice.
4. I avoid talking to you because you are so negative and pessimistic.
5. You deserve so much better than the relationship you are in, why are you wasting your time?
6. When we got the chance to move back to Alberta, I told Jack no because I like being this far away from you.
7. I really want to kiss you, but I’m too chicken.
8. Your life choices are the reason I don’t want to be your friend anymore. Shit or get off the pot.
9. Stop trying to make me feel obligated to help someone who clearly doesn’t want to talk to me about it.
10. I’m so very sorry that I took you for granted and treated you badly. I didn’t appreciate having you around last year, and now I miss you terribly.

Nine things about yourself:

1. I have a very small birthmark on the outer side of my right breast. It’s shape reminds me of a skunk
2. I love shopping at the Dollar Store
3. I loath the color navy blue
4. When I masturbate, I never fantasize about men
5. I have OCD
6. I really like melted marble cheese and mustard sandwiches
7. I never, ever touch wet naps because I find them completely vile
8. I sometimes care more about what other people think that I would lead them to believe
9. I love my kids but I can’t wait for them to grow up so that I can have my life back

Eight ways to win your heart:

1. Spend real, honest to god quality time with me
2. Don’t be afraid to be affectionate with me in public
3. Cook me something
4. Don’t try to fuck me on the first date, but make it clear that you are attracted to me
5. Read books that you know I love
6. Make the first move
7. Let your guard down and trust me with your secrets
8. Love yourself

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:

1. Sex
2. What shall I blog about today?
3. Photography
4. Food/Cooking
5. Is there something wrong with the people here, or is it just me?
6. I think I spend too much time online
7. What the hell can I make for supper tonight?

Six things you wish you never did:

1. Started smoking
2. Spent so much time being depressed
3. Caused emotional pain to others
4. Procrastinated
5. Taken for granted what a wonderful life I have
6. Felt bad about myself

Five turn-offs in a guy/girl:

1. Bad hygiene and teeth
2. Too much baggage
3. Neediness
4. Stupidity
5. Low self-worth

Four turn-ons in a guy/girl:

1. Soulful eyes
2. Positive attitude
3. Intelligence
4. Drive/Motivation

Three smileys that describe your life:

1. :P
2. ;)
3. <3

Two things you want before you die:

1. Get paid to do sometime I love and feel passionate about
2. Travel the world with Jack

One Confession:

1. I often worry that I am a terrible mother

Random Friend says:
I’ve been having some erotic dreams

Random Friend says:
you know the kind right?

Shasta says:
LOL, do they involve a 300 pound dominatrix named Helga, a goat, and a tub of lard?

Random Friend says:
No not at all

Shasta says:
I have no idea then

I present to you, for anyone who hasn’t yet been scared for life by this short clip, Mr. Hands

Come on and watch it, you know you wanna ;) I swear it’s not as bad as 2 Girls 1 Cup (by the way if anyone just wants me to describe 2G1C to them, I’m willing to do so in the comments). If you’re into sick shit, maybe take a peek at 2 Girls 1 Finger as well.

Say Cheese!It’s difficult to believe that it’s only Wednesday, and yet my week has been all kinds of fabulous already!

First, over the weekend, I began talking to someone new, whom I met online at one of those questionable chat sites. Certainly it might seem like a skeezy way to connect with someone, improbable that they are really interested in more than fucking me.

I figured though, that since I am on there, and not a sleaze bag, some of the other users must not be sleaze bags either. Why not at least give the guy a chance?

He’s 30 years old, and lives in a city about 45 minutes away from where I live. He has an old motorcycle that he rebuilt himself, and an impressive career that required significant post-secondary education. He’s a born and raised Ontarian, never been married, and has no children (that he has mentioned). He seems to be quite keen on the concept of poly, although he has no experience with such things. With a bit of a dominant streak, he doesn’t come across as particularly needy, which is very attractive.

Earlier this week he asked me out on a real date. Not a “lets do drinks and then hopefully you’ll get naked with me” date, but a “can I take you out to a movie and get to know you” kind of date. This Friday night he’s taking me to see Cloverfield. I’m quite excited, although cautiously optimistic. Thus far it seems he would be a suitable boyfriend, but I realize it’s way too early to tell. I promise to spare no details however, although you might not get them until Monday, because on Saturday I have more plans!

Nia and I are off to spend the day with some other gals and I’m going to be taking some photos for a calendar. Yes, my first real photography ‘job’ which will be a fantastic opportunity to expand my portfolio of work. Also I get to spend the day in the company of gorgeous ladies, so it’s pretty much win-win all around. I’m looking forward to it to no end, since I can always use more friends and all the better if they are sexy women in corsets!

Sunday I am taking a day trip downtown to Eaton’s Center and area with another mum I recently befriended here. She’s quite a bit older than me and is not privy to my secret life, but she makes me laugh so hard I can’t breath, which I like. She’s not inclined to drive downtown by herself, so I suggested that her and I have a shopping day together, leaving the young ones at home with our respective husbands. There are some tea shops down there that I wish to visit, although Jack might have a breakdown if I bring home even one more packet of tea leaves (I think I have somewhere around 25 kinds these days).

I should be good and exhausted by Sunday night, since I doubt I will get much sleep all weekend.

Aside from all those thrilling weekend plans, I’ve had a great week here at home. The house is tidy and becoming more organized every day. Jack and I are recovering from the gorge-mania that was Christmas and getting back on the horse so to speak with healthy eating. Nia has suggested that her and I sign up for fitness classes of some sort, which I think I will discuss with her more this weekend. I’d love to look into kickboxing or perhaps even something a little more racy, like pole dancing lessons/strippersize.

I’m feeling a lot better about myself, and about the state of life in general. I also feel very content with our decision NOT to move back to Alberta any time in the foreseeable future. Things seem to be coming around here, falling in to place slowly but surely. Nia suggested earlier this week that Jack and I indulge in a few more date nights while she wrangles the young ones, so that we don’t feel so lonely and overwhelmed at times. What a sweet and generous suggestion on her part don’t you think? I intend to take her up on that, perhaps very soon since I have a craving for good Indian food and I know a little place not far from here that serves up a wicked curry.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finalize my brunch menu for Saturday (since I love to feed people I’ve informed our hostess that I will happily provide the morning meal) and make a grocery list. Come Monday I should have a good number of stories to share.

Happy Hump Day! Jack and I celebrated with a quick, half-conscious, morning romp before he headed to work, tee hee.

However, I felt a need to post a little something about Bloggers For Choice Day.

I’d write my own long-winded thoughts on the topic, but a witty young thing already said it better than I could, so just go read her post.

Comments are off since this isn’t up for debate here (trust me people, you’re not going to change my mind, you all know how bloody stubborn I am). Please don’t go posting them to other entries or I may have to turn on comment moderation, which I REALLY don’t wanna do.

That is all.

Toy Lust TuesdaysI’ve been eyeing up a certain rear end toy for some months now. “Can a person really have too many sets of anal beads?” I asked myself, while browsing the products at Buy Vibes. The answer was, of course not, and so Flexi Felix (made by Fun Factory) found his way to my doorstep and later, between my cheeks.

What makes him different from other toys of this nature? Well Felix is made out of high-grade silicone, unlike most anal beads, which are made of plastic, or a rubber derivative. This means Felix is easily sterilized, which is oh so important when it comes to things that go in your butt. You can even boil him, but some antibacterial soap and warm water should be enough to keep him clean and ready for action.

Flexi FelixFelix also has a very ingenious ‘handle’ unlike most anal beads, which makes me less nervous about the possibility of loosing him up inside myself. His eyes also provide handy loopholes for your fingers, for those climactic moments when you want to quickly (or slowly) yank out the whole string.

Speaking of string, promise me that you will never, ever, EVER purchase an anal toy that has uncoated string between the beads/balls. Some stings are coated in silicone (like on the smart balls) which protects the fibres from bacteria and fecal matter, which are difficult to remove from such a porous material. I don’t know about you, but the idea of icky little microbes having a hay day in/on any of my toys makes me want to writhe with disgust. Just, don’t do it. If you have such a toy I beg you to throw it away.

The beads of Felix are fairly small, making it ideal for beginners to anal play, or those like me who don’t need much to enjoy the sensation. Please remember not to use silicone lubricant on Felix, since it will ruin him. Water based lubes are fine.

I really enjoyed this little toy. He doesn’t look like much but man does he deliver. He’s small enough to hang out comfortably in my rear end while having vaginal intercourse, and his smiling face never fails to make me feel all tingly inside. He’s very flexible and even a little bit stretchy, which makes him all the more appealing.

This Product Receives:

5 Out Of 5

ONOZ!I’ve never been a big believer in fate or destiny. I prefer the idea that I control my own life, direction, and future. However, I have to admit that I feel something larger than our own choice brought us out to Ontario. I just got a strange sense that this is where we were meant to be, and that the experience is serving some purpose in my life.

Very recently, Jack was offered the opportunity to take a job back in Calgary. Our move would be paid for, other costs of such a transition covered, and the assurance of a position for him upon our…um, re-arrival.

There would be a cost of course. The job in question would be less stable (read could be eliminated within the next couple of years). There would be a pay cut, and little to no opportunity for advancement. We would also have to give up the magnificent house we have here, and the eldest child would have to switch schools mid-year.

However, as Jack pointed out, this will likely be our only opportunity to go back in this fashion (with everything paid and a job at the other end).

You have no idea how badly a part of me wants to say yes. I miss Alberta; I miss my friends, my family, and the luxury of having a night away from the kids with my husband. When I think about the people we left behind…I just want to start packing boxes and booking plane tickets.

There is a larger part of me that knows that wouldn’t be the best choice. We are just beginning to get established here. There are so many things we have yet to see and do. Jack is going to take me to Ottawa and Montreal this year. We want to go camping up in the northern part of the province, and then there is the fact that V is getting geared up to move out here with us. Yes, if we moved back, she would be nice and close again, but not in the same house.

I just don’t think the time is right for us to leave Ontario.

*James P. Blaylock