Don’t Play Leap-Frog With Unicorns
Posted on February 7th, 2010 in Mating And Relating, Polyamory, Three's Company
I don’t know which is more annoying: having the desire to blog, but being unable to think of anything particularly interesting to write about, or having lots to write about but no desire to blog.
In response to my previous post, Perakath remarked:
I feel a bit bad for Jack! Is he really okay with it all?
I left it sit for a while, because Jack intended to respond personally (and he still might) but being me, I have a few things to say on the matter, and some additional comments on how the co-habitation is progressing.
Over the weekend Jack and I had the opportunity to go out for dinner together while Aiden supervised the younglings. As often happens, the conversation turned to our current state of affairs, and I asked Jack if he ever imagined that we would end up in a poly living arrangement like this. I don’t think either of us ever really thought that we would get to this point. When I really stop myself to think about it, it seems not only strange but bordering on insanity, which is perhaps why it works.
The short answer is, yes Jack really is ok with it all.
Having Aiden living here is not without it’s perks for him. Another adult to ride herd over the children is always welcome, not to mention that fact that Jack and I have been able to spend some desperately-needed alone time together out of the house. Aiden pitches in with the housework and contributes to the grocery bills, and he keeps me on task when it comes to getting things done.
It’s not perfect and it’s not always awesome and I don’t expect that it will ever be just right. Jack is sometimes resentful of the amount of time I presently get to spend with Aiden, although that is bound to change rather immediately, as there is progress on the job front. Sometimes one of them has a shitty day and could probably use a warm body to cuddle up with that night, but it’s not their turn (that’s actually already happened to both of them at least once). I feel like when that happens it might be understandable for the one in need to approach the other and ask to switch nights, but that is up to their own discretion. Maybe we need to add that to the discussion topics for the next family meeting. There are days when I am in a mood and I think they might BOTH like to throttle me. Aiden and I have had our share of disagreements. My stubbornness frustrates him to no end, and we piss each other off fairly regularly, but it never really lasts long. He’s not one to let things sit un-mended and while I’m not particularly cooperative much of the time, our communication with each other seems to be improving.
Speaking of switching nights and sleeping arrangements, starting tomorrow we are going to try out a 3-night rotation, due to the fact that changing beds every night is very disruptive to all of our sleeping patterns. Hopefully that will work out a little better for everyone, but only time will tell.
There are also funny little insignificant aspects of this arrangement that one never really considers until they come up. Such as having to keep a spare toothbrush in Aiden’s bathroom so that I don’t have to go all the way up to the Master bathroom to brush my teeth before bed and in the morning. I’ve also come to realize that it is essential to keep at least one change of clothes in Aiden’s bedroom, because sometimes I’m already naked before I get down there at night and then I have nothing to put on in the morning when I get up with the children.
Jack and Aiden also have vastly different morning routines, which means I have a different morning routine, depending on where I am waking up. Jack likes to hit the snooze button half a dozen times and get up very gradually, while Aiden’s alarm causes him to jump three feet straight into the air, and then out of bed. On the weekends they both like to sleep in a little, although Jack more so than Aiden. Fortunately they both like cuddling, and Aiden has begun allowing for snuggle time in the mornings before he has to get out of bed or he knows I will be owly all day
Hopefully Jack will get around to commenting and share his own thoughts and feelings on the current living arrangement but I think for the most part we are all pretty content with how things are progressing thus far. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions if you are curious, someone will take the time to answer them sooner or later