I’m Sick Of Following My Dreams. I’ll Just Ask Them Where They’re Going And Hook Up With Them Later
Posted on November 9th, 2009 in Collar And Cuff, Does All Her Own Stunts, Mating And Relating, Polyamory, Tie Me Up
It’s been five days since Aiden fastened that lovely steel collar around my neck, in a sort of impromptu exchange that only involved the two of us. Earlier in the day we went over together and finalized our contract. We also went over and agreed upon the rules (some of them were a little harder to ‘agree on’ than others, LOL). Then he asked if I wanted his collar, and I said yes, and that was that. Afterwards we consummated our ‘new relationship’ and then had a long, hot shower together, followed by more of his cock being thrust into my mouth, and pussy, and ass.
That evening he took me out for dinner, and then we rented some movies (Serenity and Twilight, for those who are interested). We spent Thursday together as well, minus a few hours I spent at work. I got a little spoiled having him here, and when the alarm went off on Friday morning, I think I almost convinced him to just quite his job and stay with me. Fortunately he had just enough willpower to disentangle himself from me and get some clothes on before I could pull him back to bed.
Which brings me ’round to the sleep sharing situation over here. You may have noticed that Aiden spends quite a lot of time at our house. In fact the basement bedroom has now come to be called “Aiden’s room” and his toothbrush has taken up permanent residence in the basement bathroom. He leaves clothes here regularly, and my children have staked claim to his PS3 which has been set up in our living room since September.
Since we’re not yet prepared to start explaining relationship dynamics of this kind to our children, the sleeping situation presented an issue at first. I didn’t want to have to give up sharing a bed with Aiden, just because he happens to be here more than I am at his house. At the same time, Jack feels like it’s too soon for the kids to find out I spend every other night in the basement instead of in my own room. The solution that we’ve come up with so far, is that depending on schedules, I spend more or less half the night in each bed, which sounds ridiculous and probably won’t work long-term, but for now it’s ok.
When Aiden has to leave for work in the early morning (around 4am) then I go to bed with him and when he leaves for work I get up as well and return to my own bed with Jack. If Aiden doesn’t have to work in the morning sometimes I will set my alarm for 6am and then sneak upstairs before the children wake up. Jack generally stays up later than Aiden does, so other nights I will go to bed with Aiden and cuddle with him until Jack is ready to go to bed. It sounds kind of complicated, but we just sort of work it out as we go along, just like everything else.
During the initial round of collar-related negotiations Jack expressed discomfort with the idea of me wearing my collar all the time. As such, Aiden made sure that Jack would also have access to a key for said collar, so that he could remove it as he wished, since I am never to remove it myself. Quite surprisingly, after seeing it on, he’s decided that he likes it, and so it will only be removed when I am either going through airport security or on the rare occasion when he is taking me out on a date and simply wishes me to wear one of the necklaces he’s bought for me over the years. I’m really, really grateful for how understanding and accommodating Jack has been through all of this. He’s amazing, and I hope that he knows how much I appreciate him.
The first night that I wore my new collar to bed, it was kind of weird and mildly uncomfortable, but since then I never notice it at night. The weight of it reminds me that it’s there during the day, but not constantly. When I wore it to work on Thursday I was slightly conscientious of it, although nobody inquired about it. I know that it’s only a matter of time before someone asks about it, but that doesn’t really bother me.
While the actual wearing of it has become normal, the agreements that I am bound to have not. I struggle, a lot, and I’ve been punished a fair number of times already. I forget to ask permission to do things, I speak disrespectfully at times, I fail to do the things that I am told. Aiden has been generally forgiving, since he understands that this is a huge adjustment for me, but at the same time, he knows that I will never learn if he is too lenient. He expects that I will be defiant, and disobedient, and rebellious, although not forever. I know that there will always be a bratty streak in me, and that I will never be perfect, but hopefully with time and patience I will become close to it. So far I can manage “fairly good” for short periods of time, LOL.
Giving up so much control isn’t something I am used to, nor do I find it comfortable. I’m not the naturally submissive type, and I like being able to make my own decisions. Everything from my exercise habits, to what time I go to bed are no longer up to me. When Aiden is here I have to ask permission to leave the room. Freedom to do anything without asking has become a privilege that I have to earn back, when I can prove to him that I can consistently follow directions and do as I am told.
Aiden has given me permission to share our contract and rules on the blog here, so I will hopefully add that, perhaps as a page of it’s own for easy referral, in the next few days.
For now I’d better get going, as I have a lot of chores to get done and if I don’t, I won’t be able to sit for a week.