X: I am trying to convince my freind to have sex with a bag of dead moths Shasta: LMFAO X: Am I a bad person?
Shasta: Hello? Aiden: Hey, you called? Shasta: No, I didn’t. Aiden: Well, your butt called me then. Shasta: It misses you!
Favorite Aunt: So what is Aiden going to do now that you guys are moving? Shasta: Actually, he is moving with us, since the job opportunities will be better for him there and also his twin brother lives in Edmonton. Favorite Aunt: Are you guys into threesomes or something? Shasta …What? Favorite Aunt: Are you [...]
Sadie: Look at what I made at school today. This ball is made out of tinfoil. Luke: *obviously impressed* REAL tinfoil? Sadie: Yes, REAL tinfoil. Luke: Wow!
Aiden: What’s in here? Shasta: GAH! Don’t open that! Aiden: What? Why not? Shasta: There’s a dead gerbil in there
V: So is the title of your last post the way you say “Merry Christmas” in Ukrainian? Shasta: Basically, yes V: How do you pronounce it? Shasta: I have no idea V: *Pause* Well, at least you sound smart on the internet
Shasta: I really HATE the gym in January Jack: What? Why? Shasta: It was SO crowded tonight. When I got there, EVERY. SINGLE. TREADMILL was being used, full of New Years Resolutioners, promising themselves that THIS YEAR will be different and that they will actually lose the weight, get in shape, whatever Jack: Maybe you [...]
Rona Guy: Tools department, how can I help you? Shasta: Do you guys carry any nylon-jaw pliers? Rona Guy: Nylon-jaw pliers? Shasta: Yeah, or pliers that have any type of soft jaws? Rona Guy: What are you using them for? Shasta: Making…chainmail *Silence* Shasta: Ok so I have these anodized aluminum rings and my regular [...]
Aiden: *Examinging Shasta’s wallet* Shasta: The address sticker from your mum and dad’s is still on there from two weeks ago Aiden: Yes I noticed that Shasta: Well make sure you leave it on there. I need their address to send them a Christmas card Aiden: Make sure you put my name on it too [...]
Jack: I’m going to go and get this shelf from Canadian Tire so that you can put it up Shasta: Sounds good, but I’m not going to put it up today Jack: Why not? Shasta: Because I’m tired Jack: Aiden, tell her that she HAS to put up the shelf, today! Shasta: Goddamnit
Shasta says: Maybe it’s that plastic thing they jammed into my uterus last week So much for “may cause a decrease in sex drive” LOL X says: Ha Ha its the opposite world equivalent Shasta says: Yes It would appear so I should write a letter to the manufacturer “Please add ‘may cause you to [...]
Jack: I love you Shasta: Will you still love me if I take up LARPing? Jack: I’ll have to think about it Shasta: *Pouts* Jack: LOL
Aiden: So what movie do you want to see this weekend? Shasta: How about District 9? Aiden: I kind of wanted to see The Time Traveler’s Wife Shasta: … Aiden: Here’s my man card
Jack: It was much cooler down by the lake shore in Toronto today V: I wish my bus route was down there Shasta: *Laughing Hysterically* I thought you said “I wish my BUSH TROUT was down there” V: Bush trout? WTF? That makes me think of something sick. Shasta: Like rancid vagina!
Shasta: I think I have heat rash… Jack: But it’s not even hot out Shasta: It IS between my legs Jack: …
Random Vegan Friend: Why is it easier to watch Cold Case Files (about dead people with graphic photos) than it is to watch Rachael Ray talk about meat? Shasta: LOL, because people are annoying And animals are cute Shasta: Dead People = Meh Dead Animals = Random Vegan Friend: Yeah, and also the detectives have [...]
V: Do you smell diarrhea? Shasta: Not really, but one of my nostrils is plugged V: That’s lucky for you. I’m gettin the full flavour over here
Shasta: I just wanna make love to a block of ice right now V: Yep, slow and passionately Shasta: Totally
Jack: Look at how cool our new credit cards look! Shasta: I know. I licked mine Jack: ….. Shasta: It tasted like plastic
Random Friend: Also WTF? and PORN go together a lot on the Internet Shasta: Last night I watched a clip of a woman being sodomised with a turkey drumstick Random Friend: See? Shasta: Indeed
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