The Baby’s Blood Type? Human, Mostly.*
- Posted by Shasta on September 11th, 2007 filed in Advice, Mating And Relating, Polyamory
I hadn’t really planned to post anything today, but I am having a bit of a dilemma and I had hoped my insightful and wise friends out in the Land O’ Blogs might have some thoughts to share.
See, I’ve been chatting a bit to this new guy, in the hope of establishing some sort of Friends With Benefits arrangement with him in the very near future. Thus far he seems agreeable to us hanging out, doing ‘pals’ type things, and also sleeping together if the mutual desire presents itself.
Which is excellent. At this point I am not looking for anything serious. I want someone I can have social time with and the sexual aspect is always a plus.
This male is, in a word, pretty. Actually gorgeous is a better word but I just like calling him pretty. He’s incredibly good-looking, great body, fantastic smile…in a word, YUM!
Unfortunately he also seems a little…dumb. Not stupid mind you, just not very intellectual. A little blah in the brain pan you might say. He doesn’t do a thing for me when it comes to intelligence.
This is a problem because smarts turn me on. Not the only thing that turns me on of course, but if we’re going to spend any time talking, I’d prefer the other person have a good handle on intellectually stimulating conversation.
Now, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here. Normally the lackluster content of our initial conversation would have earned him The Block And Delete. However, I realise that some people just do not communicate well online. Some people can’t translate the thoughts into the written words very effectively. It goes the other way too, I’ve met people who were fantastic writers and yet having a conversation with them made me feel like I had to ‘Dumb Down’ so we could connect on some level. I am totally planning to meet him at least once so that I can get a better feel in real life.
Lets just say though, that he actually IS equally blah and duh in real life. Would it be wrong of me to tolerate him just so I can have [hopefully] awesome sex with such a pretty, pretty man? Should I just walk away even though he’s so delicious I could eat him with a spoon? I mean, generally speaking, there are aspects of just about every person that we don’t really adore completely. That doesn’t mean we can’t click with them in certain ways while just accepting their lesser traits as part of the overall package. Especially in situations where it’s going to be a casual thing and there aren’t any expectations of true love.
What do you guys think? I’ll give you the run-down of course when we actually get together in real life, and this entire thing might be moot. Share your thoughts, I’m eager to hear them!
*Orson Scott Card
September 12th, 2007 at 1:16 am
In theory I don’t think so, as long as he knows it’s just fun and casual. I do have to wonder, however, if the boy is so pretty, might he be a dud in bed because he’s never had to really try? Could also be why he’s not particularly interesting.
Still, as long as you’re honest about your intentions toward him and he’s OK with it, give it a shot.
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September 12th, 2007 at 2:07 am
I agree with finn…I think you should give it a shot.
xoxoxo
padme amidala
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September 12th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Hmm. If I can’t connect mentally, I just don’t respond. But that’s me. I’m saving myself for that special someone.
I just hope my wife understands when she comes along…
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September 12th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Finn makes a good point. Maybe he has never had to “work” at relationships. There is always time that you are not engaged in sex. If that time is unfullfilling, then you have to ask yourself: Is the sex time so good as to offset the boredom of the non-sex time
[Reply To The Above Comment]
September 12th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Finn,
You know, I hadn’t thought much about him being pretty and perhaps being rather dull in bed. Hmmmmm, interesting. We’ve talked more since this post and he seems a little…sexually repressed. It seems all of his past girlfriends were rather prudish and conservative so maybe he just needs someone open minded to indulge some of his fantasies.
I’ve been very clear (as has he) that this will be very casual, so as you said, why not give it a shot?
Padme,
Hee Hee
Yes I suspect I will! Especially now that he’s mentioned skinny dipping in his pool.
Rupert,
Generally I am the same way. I am hoping I am wrong about him, LOL.
Mr & Mrs SW,
I suppose it depends on how much non-sex time there is. If I was going to be spending a great deal of time with him outside of the bedroom I suspect it might be more of an issue. We shall just have to see what he’s like in person, and in bed
XOXO
Shasta
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