I will admit, it has been a great surprise to see that people still check in on me. I am touched, honestly. I’ve missed this place, and all of you.
I wasn’t going to dwell in the past, but I feel that in light of you taking the time to come over and say hello, I will provide this small update.
This blog was taken down shortly after I announced that Jack and I were separating. Aiden moved out, and I moved in with him, more or less.
For a time things were very bad.
However, after the initial pain and anger had subsided, Jack and I were able to be amicable. Lawyers were never once involved. We both recovered fairly quickly (I would say incidents of hostility dropped to “rare” within 6 months) and decided that for the sake of our kids, we needed to pull it together and be adults.
It’s been, hmmm, 3.5 years since since I moved out, and we are still a family, all of us, it just looks a little different now.
Aiden and I are still together. It’s been a struggle, but there will be more on that in the future. Jack and I have become what I would describe as close friends. We talk often, and all five of us still spend every holiday together (we take turns hosting, Aiden and I just had Easter at our place, Thanksgiving will be at Jack’s, etc) and birthdays. Saydie is turning 10, and this Saturday we are all going to Laser Tag with her and a load of kids from her class. We still co-parent, we just live in different houses.
I am not going to say things like “It’s better this way” because I feel that it cheapens what Jack and I had. I did truly love him, and a part of my always will. This is where we are now, and we are working together, and that’s the important thing. Our kids are happy to have all of the adults they love under the same roof on a regular basis. They get a lot of support, and are loved dearly by a great many grown ups.
Now, as for polyamory, I am sorry if it disappoints anyone, but after many a long discussion, Aiden and I decided to be monogamous. Our relationship has been…fragile, ever since we went from a triad to a couple, and we both recognize that adding more people is frankly, stupid. We wanted to wait until we were solid before we re-visited the idea of being open, and we’re not there yet.
Kink has been utterly non-existent as well. Aiden and I haven’t played since before the separation. I still wear my collar much of the time, but it definitely doesn’t mean what it used to. We are trying to get back there (more on that as well) but we’ve had larger issues to deal with.
Currently I work 10 hours a day, 5 or more days a week. Aiden works a job out of town, 4 days away, 3 days home. He’s been at that for a month, and maybe eventually I will get used to it. We are still ridiculously busy people, and that will probably never change.
Many of the people I used to write about here have slipped away. The Infamous V is still around, of course. We’ve been the best of friends for 17 years now, and she’s not going anywhere. More recently K and I have been talking again, just casually. He’s been with a really great woman for 5 years now, he seems very happy.
My life has become rather domestic. I spend a lot of time working and cooking and cleaning. I have horses now, and several gardens, and I am obsessed with canning. Long gone are the nights of wild parties, and leaving a string of confused men in my wake. I don’t stagger home at 5 in the morning, trailing glitter and glow sticks.
I traded in my stilettos for a pair of steel toes, and maybe that will make me less interesting, but I am ok with that.