Images courtesy of ontarioparks.com

While I am somewhat sad that we will be missing LARP and our friends, I am really looking forward to this camping expedition.  We reserved a spot right on the beach, in an un-crowded camp ground.  You can see approximately where we will be set up on the map below; our site is somewhere in the vicinity of that green arrow (click to embiggen)

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Killbear Park is on the edge of Georgian Bay, which is a part of Lake Huron.

Aiden and I have camped together at LARP, and briefly at TEASE, but never recreationally. I am looking forward to a weekend away from the house and the kiddos, before we really get down to the nitty-grits of this moving business. With just over a month to go, there likely won’t be a lot of opportunities for rest and relaxation after the next two weekends, which is why I am taking full advantage of both this weekend in Calgary with Jack, and next weekend camping with Aiden.

Today we are waiting to find out if the offer has been accepted, for the house I mentioned here.  I am hoping and praying and crossing all of my appendages that they take it, so that we can have the inspection done this weekend and close the deal.  Looking for the right house has gotten terribly old, and I will be glad to have that stage of the process finished with.  For the time being, there are clothes to be folded, and more empty boxes to be filled, and packing lists to be made!

Aiden and I went LARPing last weekend, despite the fact that I felt terribly guilty for leaving the house at all, under the current state of affairs (boxes everywhere, a mile-long “to do” list, no place for us to live on the other end).  It was especially lovely, however, to leave reality behind for a couple of days and pretend to be someone else.  Someone who is not moving across the country, or preparing a house for sale, or faced with 32 loads of unwashed laundry.  Despite the fact that it rained, and gusted, and SNOWED while we were out in the woods, we had a good time.  A cold and wet time, but worth it none the less.  Our 10 year old, 4-person tent was totaled by the severe wind, and so I am currently shopping around for something sturdier for the next event, which is in June.  I’ve got my eye on the Sierra Designs Zeta 4, which should stand up to anything we might subject it to.  Jack and I bought an 8-person tent a couple of years back, but it’s huge and not really ideal for the conditions we camp in during LARP events.  It’s wonderful for camping with the kids and the dogs and all of our gear, but for just Aiden, myself, and a pair of backpacks, it’s a bit much.

As I mentioned above, we are still on the hunt for a house.  The house that we loved, that we had conditionally purchased, did not pass muster.  The building inspection revealed around $10,000 worth of invasive work needed to bring the basement up to code.  This work would entail ripping out walls and ceilings, which is way more than I feel up to dealing with, and so we let it go, bringing us back to square one.

It’s easy to feel discouraged, because house hunting from 2,000 miles away is difficult enough as it is, and finding a house in the size and price range that we would like is daunting.  The uncertainty leads to stress, which has been wearing on all of us.  There have been days when it felt like we all might kill each other, but for the most part, I think we are pulling together to work it out.  Yesterday Aiden and I finished a number of projects that needed doing, while Jack took the kids grocery shopping and then washed dishes.  Everyone pitched in and we got a lot accomplished.

Hopefully this week, and all of the weeks to come, run similarly, and we finish everything that needs doing before we drive each other mad.

I’m certain my inexplicably foul mood has something to do with it.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed it would seem.  I am easily rubbed the wrong way, and I feel cranky and sad all at once.

I wish I could chalk it up to hormones, but my period is at least two weeks away.  Actually, I should be ovulating today, which I suppose might explain the moodiness.

The weekend was fairly good.  On Saturday I got to see The Wild Hunt with Aiden and Dex.  It was a great movie, and I can’t wait for it to come out on DVD.  Even if you’re not interested in LARP, but enjoy indie films or romantic tragedies, it’s worth seeing.  Right now it’s only being released at select AMC theaters, but braving Toronto traffic was totally worth the effort and aggravation.

After the movie we had lunch at Red Lobster before dropping Dex off at his place, and then it was on to Aiden’s parents house.  We had a really nice visit with them, and they took the news of our move surprisingly well.  Aiden’s twin brother moved to Edmonton last fall, and since my family is all out west, I don’t think our relocation came as any shock.  They did ask some questions about Jack that were a little awkward (since they think I am divorced) but fortunately Aiden and I had agreed on our “cover story” before we got there, so that we could at least be consistent with it.

We ate dinner there and then visited into the evening, before excusing ourselves to head for home.  I am going to miss Aiden’s family a lot after we move.  Probably more than I miss my own family while living out here.  Hopefully we can manage to fly out for visits a couple of times a year, and they have already mentioned coming out to visit us in the fall (more on how that will work closer to when it happens).

On the way home we stopped at Blockbuster and rented Up In The Air, so that we could watch it with Jack when we got home.  It was a really terrific story, although really quite sad in many places, and the ending is sort of bitter sweet, but I liked it enough that I would watch it again.

Sunday was something of a wasted day.  I spent a couple of hours playing Left 4 Dead II with Aiden, we had steak for supper, and mostly lounged around the house.  I would have liked to have gone out and done something, but I didn’t feel right doing so after leaving Jack with the kids all of Saturday.  Both Aiden and Jack seemed kind of…off, although for no specific reason that either of them shared with me (who really knows though, LOL, men can be terribly secretive).

Tomorrow a representative from our moving company is coming by the house to evaluate the amount of stuff we have and estimate how much time and manpower will be involved in getting our possessions from here to Calgary.  Normally that would be rather exciting, except for the fact that the house is a bit of a disaster and it feels like I’m the only one who bothers tidying it.  Hopefully I can at least straighten it up enough this afternoon and evening that I won’t be totally embarrassed to parade a stranger through our space.

I should probably get going on said cleaning.  Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more like myself again.

Not that the week has been particularly long or bothersome.  Actually it was quite a good week overall.  The final paperwork on the move was completed and we were finally able to share the news with our families.  They are understandably thrilled.  Jack and I went out on a date Monday night and enjoyed spending some one-on-one time together talking.  Tuesday night was the local kink munch, and Aiden and I planned to go, but on our way there we decided that we would rather just go for dinner alone together, so we hit up our favorite sushi joint and chatted over California rolls.

Tonight I think Aiden and I are going fabric shopping, as I need some lighter material to make a second cloak for LARP.  I am trying to work something out so that V can join us for the June event, since she’s planning to come out to help us with packing and the like, so I shall sew her a cloak as well, just in case.

Tomorrow Aiden and I are heading into the city early to see The Wild Hunt with Dex.  It’s a movie about LARPing, and I’ve been dying to see it for months.  I don’t think it’s a particularly accurate portrayal of LARP, but at least we are portrayed as attractive and wearing epic costumes:

After the movie we are meeting up with a woman who has offered to buy our Tease tickets, since we won’t be able to make it now with the move. I’m actually rather sad about that, but it is what it is, and I am sure there will be other things we can get up to this summer, like camping in the mountains.

We are planning to go visit Aiden’s parents in the afternoon so that we can tell them that we are moving. I’m a bit anxious about how the conversation will go (particularly explaining WHY exactly we are moving across the country, since we can’t exactly tell them the whole truth) but Aiden seems to feel that it will be ok, and he knows his parents better than I do.

On Sunday Aiden is taking the kids out to an indoor play center (like Chuck E. Cheese) for a while so that Jack and I can have some time to ourselves. We’ll probably do something super romantic like organize the garage or finish staining the railings Heh.

As for today, I have a ton of cleaning up to get done, so I’d better stop procrastinating. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Friday was sort of chaotic, due to the fact that last week was kind of rough and I completely neglected my normal routine of packing and preparing everything WELL in advance.  Aiden and I were both finishing up costuming on Friday morning, and then there was a mad dash to load everything and get out of here on time.

My costume is comprised of a really big brown cloak, which I made myself, brown or black draw-string pants, and whatever combination of tank top/t-shirt/long-sleeved sweater I can arrange.  Aiden and I are now both playing the same race (Darklings) which requires any visible skin to be painted black, and then yellow or gold veins are to be painted on top of the black.

Here is a photo of us from the event we just attended (I would be the shorter one with the shield):

The strange protrusion on the one side of my cloak is my sword.

At one point over the weekend Aiden and I went into a local Wal-Mart, in full costume, because I needed drier footwear.  You should have seem the looks we got, particularly from little kids, who seemed to be either afraid or in total awe.  It was funny.  Oddly enough, people don’t often seem to stop us to ask questions about why we are dressed up.

It was really fantastic getting away for a weekend and totally escaping from real life.  I didn’t have to answer any phone calls, check any e-mail, and I even turned Twitter off on my cell phone, so that I wouldn’t have to plow though dozens of updates the two times I day I bothered to check it.  I still carried it with me, in case Jack had an emergency, but I forgot it was even with me most of the time.

Friday night was a lot of fun.  We went adventuring with out friend Dex, and built a fire, and met some new people.  Aiden and I are playing a married couple in game now.  A very unhappily married couple I might add, so there was a lot of fun role play fighting and cursing at each other.

We turned in at around 4am and it was damned cold.  Fortunately it warmed up in the morning, and we were up by 10am to start the day.  Darklings are damaged by the sun, so there was a lot of wandering around with our hoods up.  We ended up adventuring a lot of the day with Aiden’s ex-girlfriend, which was unexpected, but actually a lot of fun.  I am glad that she and Aiden seem to have buried the hatchet as it were, because she LARPs with us and now it won’t be awkward.  We joked and laughed a lot, and I think were we not moving, she and I would likely become good friends eventually.

On Saturday night there was a major battle, after which Aiden and I happily went to bed.  It wasn’t as cold the second night, and I woke up feeling really well rested, even though I was stiff and sore from the night before.  When you are at LARP there generally isn’t a lot of time for cooking, and so we lived on bottled water, cold hot dogs, and granola bars pretty much the whole weekend (oh, and quite a few coffees) but next time I will be better prepared with sandwiches and whatever else I can make up ahead of time that we can eat without a lot of fuss.

I also learned that taking the time to stretch after battle is probably in ones best interest.  As is packing adequate blankets, and clean socks.  OMG you have no idea how many pairs of socks Aiden and I went through in just two days.  I would say that bringing five or more pairs for each person is about right.  No fewer than five, that’s for sure.

On Sunday there was one more battle, and then it was time to pack up and go home.  It’s kind of a rude shock going back to normal life after spending the weekend in a fantasy world.  I was really excited to have a shower though.

Aiden and I hadn’t really been intimate all weekend, for one because we were both beat tired whenever we were in bed, and for another because my period was just ending.  There’s also the matter of being covered in mud and black make-up, it just doesn’t inspire a lot of sexiness.

Fortunately once we were back home, and in the shower and mostly cleaned off, we were able to make up a bit for lost time, and had some fun under the hot water, and then later in bed together.

I can’t wait for the next event, in four more weeks.  I am planning to make another cloak in the mean time, because my brown one is lovely for the night time, being a super heavy wool blend, it kept me warm and cut the wind, but it was hot in the day time.  Particularly with having to keep the hood up all the time in the sun, it got a little warm.  I would like to make something a little lighter weight, maybe in dark grey or forest green, for day wear.  Plus one can never have too many cloaks in my opinion.

Anyway, it’s time to stop procrastinating and turn my attention to the remaining smelly laundry that needs washing and the camping gear that needs to be put away.  I’m hoping that Aiden and I can make it out to the local kink munch this evening, but it may be awkward if I don’t have any clean pants to wear.

Jack, quite touched by my unexpected generosity, offered to let Aiden and I go away overnight this coming weekend, but we have LARP, and I would rather “bank” those overnight opportunities for Alberta, where we can spend a weekend in the mountains.

Having P here has been lovely.  I don’t want to overstep when it comes to how much I share regarding her relationship with Jack, but from what I can tell, things are going really well.  She seems to be settling in for the long-haul, and it’s very apparent that her presence in his life makes Jack very happy.  She and I have a bit of a running joke going about the 12-passenger van we’ll have to buy once Aiden and I, and she and Jack, have children.

It’s been rather interesting living in the basement full-time with Aiden.  My clothes are strewn all over his room, and I’ve only ventured into my own room a couple of times to fetch items that I’d forgotten to bring down prior to P getting here.  The last time I went in there, a couple of days ago, I felt as though I was intruding into someone else’s space.  It was something of an unsettling sensation at first, since it’s my room, and normally I consider it something of a sanctuary, where I can go when I need time to myself.  So I thought about it some, and realized that it’s really just a room, and for that matter, in a couple of months I won’t even live in it anymore.  Kind of silly to get bent out of shape over something so trivial.  I did, however, come to realize that in the next house I will need some sort of space for myself, especially if P does end up moving in, because everyone should have an area of their own, that is just theirs.  Jack, Aiden, and P should also have their own spaces, because the more people that live together, the more difficult it becomes.  This has stirred some ideas regarding how we will divvy up living area in the next house, which I hope to discuss with the rest of the family at the next opportune time.

This week I really must get started on the pre-pack for the move.  I also need to get all of our stuff together for LARP, especially since we are supposed to get rain, UGH!  Wet weather always means packing extra clothes, etc.  Don’t tell Aiden, but I am almost beginning to wish we WERE going away overnight somewhere that didn’t involve camping and re-applying black face paint 45 times, and getting wet in the great outdoors.  I am sure it will be brilliant once we are there, but at the moment, it just isn’t sounding so hot, LOL.

First I began writing about a tantrum I had on Friday that culminated in me taking off my collar and leaving it on Aiden’s bed while he was at work.  The discussion that followed was rather uncomfortable for me, and just this morning I completed the two-page apology that will hopefully earn me a second chance at being Aiden’s slave.  I miss my collar.  I feel naked without its familiar weight around my neck.

Second I began writing about the dull and mostly shitastic weekend that I had, but it’s all water under the bridge now.

Third I began writing about P’s arrival, and the wonderful visit we’ve had thus far.  Yesterday we spent the day shopping together, and making plans for the future.  We talked about her relationship with Jack, and I assured her that I am indeed very ok with them being together, and that I hope it lasts.  Yes, I still have the odd twinge of discomfort in my guts, but it passes as quickly as it comes.  Kind of like a moment of unfounded anxiety, or having butterflies when you drive through just the right sort of dip in a road at just the right speed.  Any “weirdness” (I wouldn’t even go so far to call it jealousy or insecurity or anything like that) on my part is quickly and easily dispersed by the fact that they make each other so happy, and it makes me happy to see them together.

This is what compersion feels like.

Next week Aiden is going to be working graveyards, which means I will be sleeping alone at night.  My period is also due on Tuesday, which means I am going to have to be extra-aware of my emotional state and do what I can to keep my irrational craziness in check.  Aiden and I have LARP next weekend, so fortunately I will have that to look forward to.  Even though we don’t actually spend a lot of time together “in-game” there is still the car ride there and back for us to talk and be with each other.  We should be able to coordinate sleep schedules at the event as well so that we both get in a bit of cuddling time, and aren’t apart the entire weekend.  That’s the thing about LARP.  Even though it’s something we do together, we aren’t actually together while we are there.  In the game we don’t know each other, so it doesn’t make any reasonable sense in the story for us to be anywhere near each other.  If we were staying in this game for any period of time, yes eventually our characters would probably become pals, but for now we are essentially strangers.

It’s strange, I know.  Just smile and nod.

The paperwork for our relocation came though, and Jack signed off on it.  Now the whole thing just has to get one more signature (from someone in Jack’s office, whom is in charge of such things) and it’s all set in stone for us.  That should happen today or tomorrow.  Either way, by Friday everyone in our family will know that we are moving, and the minor details should begin to solidify (the exact moving timeline, help with the kids and with packing, the actual crossing of the country, etc.)

There seems to be so much to do, in what feels like very little time, but I know it will all work out as it should.  It always does.

For the time being I am going to enjoy my visit with P.  Aiden and I have plans to go hiking on Friday.  I’m going to pack a picnic, and later in the evening we have a family dinner to attend (on his side) to celebrate Granny’s birthday.  Saturday is my tattoo appointment, and also Easter dinner here at Chez Gibson.  I think we are going to have turkey, with all of the excessive trimmings, since I didn’t go all out for Christmas and I am kind of in the mood to celebrate what with all the great news we’ve had around here lately.

That reminds me, I’d better plan to do some baking tomorrow.  Maybe I will post some photos of food, or my new bras or panties.  MAYBE.

If I had a nickle for every time that Jack and I have exchanged such messages in the last few days, well I’d have at least a dollar.

Then it breaks down to the numbers.  Percentages to be exact.

“I think I’m 95/5 at the moment.  You?”

“60/40 maybe”

“Really?  Not 80/20?”

“Ok, maybe 75/25″

These are the obscure methods we use to express how we feel about moving back to Alberta.

We need more details before we can make an informed and solid decision, but the fact that Jack and I spent over an hour last night looking at houses in our old neighborhood perhaps gives some indication of which way we would like to go.

Likewise Aiden and I are already mulling over plans to start up a LARP in the Calgary area, since to my knowledge there are no existing games that we can join.

As much as I like Ontario, I miss home.  I miss V, and the mountains, and my friends.  There are things I will miss very much about Ontario, but the lure of the place where I grew up is stronger than anything holding me here.

I’m doing my best to keep my excitement in check until we find out what exactly the offer is.  Jack is going to discuss the specifics with the higher-ups on Monday.  In the mean time, our weekend will likely be spent making the first moves towards preparing the house for sale.  The garage needs organizing, Aiden still has some boxes of possessions that need sorting, things of that nature.

V and I have a phone date planned for this evening.  We spoke for a short while last night, so that I could fill her in a bit on what is going on, but we didn’t have time to talk about everything.  She has already offered to do whatever she can to help with the move, including making a trip out here to help me pack or get organised or anything else we might need.

Hopefully by early in the week this will all be a done deal.  I hate the not knowing.

Ugh, I hate how my period makes me moody and extra sensitive.

Perhaps the pinky-purple daisies (in the photo above) that Aiden brought me on Tuesday were a preventative measure.  You know, so that I wouldn’t rip his face off at the most minuscule of provocations.

I loathe women who use their cycle as an excuse to act like total nutbars, but I can’t deny that it does have some effect on my ability to deal with my emotions.  I take everything extra personally, I am more easily agitated, and I feel like bursting into tears every five minutes.

*Sigh* Stupid hormones.

Thanks to my IUD my periods are nearly non-existent.  The last one was light enough that a pantyliner was sufficient to do the trick (and I was a “super-plus mondo pad” kind of girl prior to the IUD).  Yesterday I had a tiny bit of spotting, and so far today, nothing.  I wouldn’t even know it was that time of the month if I didn’t keep track on my calendar, or feel like disemboweling one of the guys every time they ruffle my feathers.

I wish that the changes in my mood had stopped along with the monthly bleed, but if I have to take one or the other, give me the cranky-pants any day.  At least I can quell my inner dragon with exercise and eating right, but there is nothing to be done about blood gushing from your vagina except wait it out.

Speaking of eating right and exercising, with the recent development of nicer weather I dug my bike out of the garage this morning.  After pumping the tires back up and locating my helmet, I took it out for a 30-minute spin around the neighborhood.  It’s a gorgeous day, warm enough for bike shorts but still cool enough to prevent getting excessively hot and sweaty.  Now I just need to practice plenty and then nag… I mean, ENCOURAGE one of the boys to get a bike, so that I don’t have to ride alone all the time.

As it turns out, this weekend Aiden’s mum is out of town, and so instead of going to visit his parents for dinner, we are planning to take a hike together, weather permitting.  I should also start working on a cloak for LARP, and perhaps finish up the long sword I started.  I know, I know, I subject you to suck geekery these days.  Speaking of which…

The paper is just there as a size reference. The shield and the short sword I built myself, and the longbow was my Valentine’s gift from the guys.  The short sword is rather massive and heavy, but I love it.  Eventually I will save up for some fancy Calimacil weapons, but for now these will do.  I still have to build a long sword and two daggers (my characters is a fighter/warrior, so I need lots of things to hit people with).  More pictures to come, I am sure.  I know you guys are dying to see photos of my costume once it’s done

Hmmm, from photos of blow jobs and fucking, to duct tape weapons and LARP gear.  Could it be that my blog is going downhill?  Perish the thought *Cheeky Grin*

I didn’t feel any weirdness while he was with P.  Ok maybe a twinge on Sunday, but I was also feeling generally over-sensitive because I was tired and my period is due immediately, so my hormones are out of whack, and I had to miss LARP while Aiden went with our friend Dex.  Still, when I thought of him and her together, particularly the thought of them having sex, I felt…nothing.  No angst, no guts turning over in my stomach.  If anything I was just happy that the two of them were able to spend some time together, since it’s difficult with the distance.

I’m not going to pretend that having Aiden here doesn’t make sharing Jack far easier for me.  While I do believe that I have grown as a person, particularly in poly, and that I have worked though much of my jealousy and insecurity in relation to Jack, it’s more fun to share when one still has a warm body to curl up with at night.

As an added benefit, Jack found it easier to relax and enjoy his time with P knowing that I had Aiden here to keep me company, and to help me work through any uncomfortable feelings that may have cropped up.  It’s all win

The lovely P is already booking a trip out here (hopefully for Easter, for two weeks!!!) and I.CANNOT.WAIT to see her  It has been far, far too long since she and I were able to hang out.  Maybe we can collectively lure her into moving out to Ontario once she is finished school  There is still an extra bedroom in the house, hee hee.

This week and the coming weekend promises to be quite busy.  This afternoon I had a blood donation appointment, my fourth successful donation.  Afterwards I stopped by my favorite tattoo studio and booked an appointment for some new ink at the beginning of April.  It’s been almost three years since my last tattoo and I’ve been itching for a third for ages.  I’m pretty excited about it

Aiden and I are planning on attending the kink munch in our city this evening, which will be a nice opportunity to catch up with everyone.

This weekend we have plans with G and S of Horny Geek, which I am looking forward to.  I assume a lot of our conversation will revolve around LARP or kink (or both at the same time!) but I’m sure you expected as much.  At some point we are going to visit Aiden’s mum and dad as well, and tidy up the house, and likely work on some other projects.

I’m currently plowing my way through a copy of “His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-Proof Marriage” and while the subtitle does seem a tad laughable, all things considered, it’s actually filled with fantastic advice about negotiating your respective needs with a partner.  Most of the conflicts that occur between Jack and I, and Aiden and I, center around one or more of our individual needs not being met, and even if this particular book is heavy on the monogamy, they at least acknowledge that it is totally possible and not unexpected to fall in love with more than one person at a time.  The copy I am reading actually belongs to Aiden’s mum, whom had lent it to him at some juncture in the past.  I want to return it to her this weekend, so that she can pass it on to someone else she knows that needs it, but I am thinking of picking up a copy of my own.  In case I don’t have time to cajole the boys into doing some of the writing and conversation exercises it recommends before Sunday.

More on the book, and some thoughts on getting your needs met while meeting the needs of multiple partners in poly relationships.  Even if some of the suggestions don’t work for our arrangement, at least they have inspired some thoughtful pondering that will hopefully result in a good post or two!

Last night after we got the kids to bed she sat and chatted with me while I worked on Aiden’s chainmail (the green and black, shown below) and has offered her assistance in weaving it.  I was pleased that she appreciated my project, although I did tell her that I was getting paid to make it, and if there is anything that my mom can understand, it’s money.  Regardless, her enthusiasm and compliments on how beautiful it is were a welcome surprise.  I showed her the anklet I made for myself as well (the orange and silver piece) which she totally loved.

I wonder if she is setting out to kill me with kindness, because not only does she like the chainmail, she also supports my LARPing.  She asked plenty of questions about it and seemed genuinely interested.

“You know, you could have just taken up quilting if you needed a hobby.  I would have an easier time explaining it when I get home” she said, and we both laughed.  In fact we laughed a lot during our time together last night.  She kept me company while I built a LARP shield as well (oh the joys of putting together my first set of gear).  Her and Jack commentated on my skills with foam and duct tape, while we joked and had a good evening together.  She cleaned my kitchen, and I had the good sense not to object, and then offered to help with the shield too.  Could it be that she’s a little cooler than I give her credit for?

When it comes to the cleaning, as much as it bothers me to watch her do it, I have come to realize that it’s her way of showing me that she loves me.  When I make a big deal of keeping her from helping out, she takes it as rejection, and that causes strain.  As much as her way of doing some things offends my OCD, I am exercising my ability to gracefully accept that my mum needs to be able to DO things for me, so that she feels needed, and to express her affection.

When my shield was finished she even went so far as to call it awesome.  This morning when I was showing it to Aiden she teased him about having “shield-envy” because I made a better one than he did.  The three of us sat at the counter and had coffee together and talked, and I think that she likes Aiden enough, considering he’s a total stranger that she’s only just met.  I don’t think she suspects anything out of the ordinary at this point either, which is how I am hoping it will stay.

I’m sure it seems minimal to most of you, but she so rarely takes much of an interest in the things that I do, that I’m practically elated to have her be supportive of this.  Particularly because LARPing seems to carry kind of a negative stigma.

She still doesn’t care for my dogs, but at least she tolerates them well enough.  She hasn’t used that tone even once so far, and today I took her out shopping and she seemed pleased as punch to be spending some one on one time with me.  We had a good outing, and suddenly it doesn’t seem as though this week will stretch on for eternity.

I do miss Aiden a little bit.  By that I mean I miss being able to be affectionate with him.  We managed to sneak a few kisses today while mum was in the shower, but there was no cuddling, and I feel somewhat on guard when he is around, in case I slip up, or look at him too lovingly, or Gods know what else.  It’s kind of unfortunate, but hopefully we can remain inconspicuous for another six days.  On Saturday he and I are going to pick up as many of his remaining possessions as we can, so we will have a bit of alone time.  I’m looking forward to that, if only because I think taking small breaks from her will make it easier to keep things rolling smoothly.  Right now, for example, she is watching a movie with the kids, which is giving me some alone time for blogging.

As much as I was dreading her arrival, when she is acting so awesome, I can’t help but enjoy her company.  I am certain that the week will fly by, and as much as I love her, I will be just as happy to see her go so that we can get back to our own version of normalcy around here

I want to assure you all now that Jack had just as much input as Aiden and I, when it came to the contract.  He read the drafts and requested additions/subtractions as he saw fit.  Aiden and I both felt (and still feel) that although the contract is technically between him and I, that it affects Jack just as much, if not more so, and that his feelings on the matter would be of the utmost importance.

Currently the contract is up for renewal, however with Aiden just beginning a new job and settling in here with us, we’ve postponed renegotiating it for the time being.  When we do, Jack will again be asked to contribute his thoughts and feelings on how the trial period went, and what changes he would like to see, if any.  It’s obviously very important that we are all on the same page when it comes to where the boundaries lie, and what is and is not ok.

Sometimes Jack disagrees with the way in which Aiden and I conduct our relationship.  I won’t speak on his behalf, but for example there was one day when I had been feeling off, or at least more moody and emotional than usual, and I had a punishment coming to me for some infractions in the days prior.  Jack found it difficult to understand why Aiden would follow through with punishing me when he knew I was having a really shitty day, as he is more inclined to coddle and snuggle me when I’m not feeling like myself.

We talked about it, and I did my best to reassure him that not only was the punishment well earned on my part, but that it was important for Aiden to follow though on these things because otherwise it would be difficult for me to take him seriously as my Master.  Consistency is important, especially in the beginning, and despite feeling really terrible, I knew that and accepted it, although perhaps not as gracefully as I could have.

Jack gets it on a rational level, it’s just not his way.  Regardless, he did not interfere, and I believe that he does trust Aiden to look out for my best interests.  He knows that while I can be submissive, I am not passive, and that if I am really having an issue, I won’t hesitate to make it known.

Aiden isn’t really that inclined to order me around a lot either.  There are certain expectations when it comes to my behavior, which I am aware of.  Rather than ordering me to do something, he prefers to ASK that I do it, which leaves the onus on me to obey.  This may seem contradictory to the entire Master/slave relationship, but Aiden prefers that I not become the type to mindlessly follow orders, and would rather that I behave because I’ve made the choice to do so.  It’s kind of difficult for me to put into words, but by leaving me at least the illusion of a choice, I confirm my submission to him every time I do as I am asked.

There are times when Jack is resentful that I will do things for Aiden without argument, when I won’t necessarily do those things for him so willingly.  It’s not that I am intentionally being disagreeable, or dismissive of Jack, it’s just the difference in how our respective relationships are negotiated.  While it sometimes bothers him, there are also times when he uses it to his advantage.  He does enjoy the perks of the house being tidy more often than not, and of tasks being completed in a more timely manner.  When he points out to me specific things that I do more willingly for Aiden, I do make a note of it and then put more of a conscious effort into doing said thing for Jack without a ton of objections.

Division of time is perhaps the most difficult aspect of co-habitating.  While Aiden was looking for work, he and I were able to spend every day together.  Obviously Jack and I don’t often enjoy that luxury.  Now that Aiden is working again, things should be a little more fair.  Divvying up the weekends can be difficult, between LARP and kink events and other social engagements, I could be gone almost constantly, but that would be terribly unfair for Jack and the kids.  So we work at balancing.  I make sure to give Jack as much notice as possible regarding plans or events I would like to attend, and then we negotiate how to make the most of our time in a way that is workable for everyone.  This past weekend, for example, I spent most of Saturday with Jack and the kids, and Aiden went for lunch with some friends.  Saturday evening Aiden and I attended a birthday party, and got home quite late.  Sunday morning Aiden went to visit his parents, and afterwards to LARP, and I skipped LARP and spent the whole of Sunday at home with Jack and the young ones.

This coming weekend, Aiden will be out on Friday night until the wee hours I imagine, as he has plans in the city with his pals.  On Saturday he and I are going to drive out to his parents place, to celebrate his birthday with them and his siblings.  On Sunday Aiden is going to watch the kids for a while so that Jack and I can go out for V-Day brunch, and that evening we are all going to hang out and have fondue to celebrate as a group.  Monday will also be spent at home, celebrating Aiden’s birthday for a second time, as a family.

Those are just some examples of what our weekends look like around here.  Some are more low-key than others, but our schedules are generally crazy, LOL.  Fortunately I’m a planner, and both Aiden and Jack generally leave it up to me to keep track of our respective social engagements and to give them each adequate notice regarding what we are doing at any given time.  Slaves are really just glorified personal assistants with better perks, after all

When something isn’t really working for Jack, in terms of time or my relationship with Aiden, he’s really good about letting me know so that we can discuss it and make adjustments.  As long as the lines of communication remain open, we can generally find a workable solution that makes everyone happy.

Thank you again for the question(s) Tonya.  I hope you guys will keep them coming, if you are curious or require clarification on anything.  Please don’t be shy

Last weekend I went out with friends on Friday night and saw Daybreakers (pretty good movie, but unless you’re really into non-sparkly vampires, I would wait for the DVD).  Afterwards I went to Aiden’s house and spent the night, and the following morning we attended a FetFair together, along with a friend of his who is just coming out in the scene.  Aiden bought two new floggers, one of rope and one of soft, buttery deer hide.

That evening we also went to a play party together, where we socialized and spent time with our friends (we didn’t play).  Recently Aiden has taken an interest in needle play, and so I found someone within our social circle, whom came highly recommended, to teach us.  Likely those lessons will begin within the next month, or as soon as our respective schedules allow.

On Sunday Aiden watched the younglings so that Jack and I could go out on a date and celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary.  We did a little shopping and then had dinner at a restaurant in town that we’ve been meaning to try for the better part of a year.  It was really nice to get out with no kids.  I can’t properly remember the last time he and I went out like that.

Aiden hadn’t been feeling good over the previous week, and decided to take Monday off of work.  He’s had some stomach issues, and at first he assumed it was the flu or something of that nature, but it’s persisted for longer than a normal flu should.  He ended up taking Tuesday off as well and spent almost 10 hours waiting in emergency to see a doctor.  They did some blood work, which came back normal, and examined him, and then encouraged him to follow up with his family doctor to be tested more thoroughly.  So we don’t really know for sure what is going on with him yet, but his symptoms have eased off a bit since then.

As his car died back in late November, we decided to use his time here to our advantage and shop around for something new (to him).  We spent two days checking out various and assorted car lots, and reading through the most recent copy of the Lemon-Aid Guide, before he finally settled on a Chrysler Neon (yes, I know, but it will do for the time being).  It’s a standard, which he didn’t know how to drive, so I took it for a spin to try it out before he bought it.  I had almost forgotten how much more fun it is to drive a stick, heh.

We brought it home on Friday, and that evening I took him out and taught him to drive it.  He caught on really quickly (we’re still working on the roll-back issue when stopping on an incline) and I think he’s already spoiled, because on Saturday he complained that my automatic was boring to drive, LOL.

Speaking of Saturday, I went my first LARP event over the weekend.  I was anxious about it all last week, and I felt under-prepared, but off we went Saturday morning.

It wasn’t as awkward as I expected.  It was not one of their typical events, as due to it being winter, it largly took place indoors.  There was some excellent combat outside in the evening and during the morning and early afternoon the following day, but mainly it was RP (role-play) based in terms of character interaction.  That suited me as I’m still not very confident with a weapon (although I did actually participate in some of the combat, and I didn’t die) and it gave me a chance to meet and get to know some of the other characters.

I play a darkling, which is a kind of fae with black skin and gold veins (wearing lots and lots of black make-up was interesting).  They don’t like the sunlight and generally don’t interact a lot with other creatures.  That worked well for me as I could act as quiet and broody and I wanted, LOL.  I had a great time though and I can’t wait to go to another event.  There is also nothing quite like going through Tim Horton’s for coffee while you’re still 100% in costume.  We got some interesting looks (Aiden plays a goblin who is bright green and scampers around in chainmail and a loin cloth) but it was amusing.

After we got home on Sunday (the kids thought we looked fabulous as we were still in costume) we showered, ate supper, and got kids to bed.  Then Jack patiently tolerated Aiden and I re-telling stories from the weekend, even though I’m sure most of it was a vague mystery to him.  It was kind of strange really, because even though Aiden and I were together most of the weekend, I felt like I’d missed him, because IG (in game) we hardly know each other, and spent a lot of time doing separate things.  We didn’t even sleep together at the event because for one it was kind of “pass out where you can find space” and for another because you’re still technically in character while you are sleeping and darklings do not go around cuddling with strange goblins whom they hardly know.  Plus when I get in the game I don’t feel like I’m hanging out with Aiden, I’m hanging out with his character, so it’s kind of an unusual sensation.

536. LARP

In case anyone is curious, when we are in game together, we put our Master/slave relationship on hold.  As mentioned above, we are in character, and so I can be as mouthy and badly behaved as I like (and believe me, I took full advantage of that, HA HA!)  If anyone asks about my collar, I tell them that it’s OOG (out of game) as in not part of my darkling costume or persona.

This week will be spent finding Aiden a new job and moving some of his stuff into the house.  Blogging may be light during this transition time, as adding an extra person to the house and working their schedule into the rhythm of things can take some adjustment.