i’m totally idealising in my mind that Muse & i will find someone who loves us both, thus somewhat limiting potential icky feelings, but i realise that it’s just as possible we’ll end up in some sort of arrangement similar to yours. i’m feeling lucky that Muse is so social, and so comfy with flirting, because i think he’ll have an easier time than most poly guys finding another partner if he chooses to do so. it’s so hard for poly guys to convince women that it really /is/ okay with their female partner for them to get involved with other women – at least it seems much harder. dudes are almost always perfectly content to get down with attached-yet-open women

xo nia

It’s so much easier to let your spouse go and have fun when you have fun of your own. When I was without a girlfriend, I struggled a lot more. I also hate to sleep alone, so now that I have people to share my time with, it’s much better.

My wife has traveled with her boyfriend a couple of times now and they are planning a trip near Christmas where she will be gone for a week. I’m very happy for them, but part of the reason why is that it gives me more time to be with my other loves. If they weren’t there, I’d be dreading the week, for sure…

I will say, though, I don’t feel guilty about whatever feelings I have any more. The feelings are all natural and when you can see it and know what it is, you can cope. And with practice, the coping gets better and you see the bright side allowing happiness to follow, even if it’s not all your own.

And for Jack, as a guy trying hard to find company too, all I can say is I think patience pays off. The right person or persons are there, and when you find her/them, it’ll all be worth it. Although don’t ask me to repeat that when I’m alone.