Stiletto Diaries™

Curse Of The Water-Bearer: Pt 1

Posted on April 26th, 2009 in Carnal Confessions

Curse of the Water-Bearer: Pt 1

By: Lov Doc and
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I’d rather have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all!!

Hi! I’m LD, a two letter word that is an enigma. I dance to the beat of a different drum. The sky in my world is psychedelic and filled with clouds that have a varied range of human emotion: love to hate – joy to sorrow; all the makings of a great melodramatic adventure. The thing is, this is not a soap opera, this is my reality, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The ancient Greeks had a philosophy in regards to how they measured a mans life. It was not by who he was, where he lived, or what he accomplished.  It was measured by a very subjective criteria: did he have passion?

I have an intense passion. A love for food,wine, culture, and especially the Gods most beautiful but complex creation: Woman !! They are life’s most fascinating, beguiling , desirable, and frustrating creatures.  Like I said above, I wouldn’t want them any other way.

This combo-amorous/epicurious memoir confessional has been a longtime coming, and after numerous roadblocks, it’s here! 

Her…you know that one. That one girl, that just got under your skin.  You loved her, or at least you thought you loved her.  To this day I have no idea what the hell that was. It’s 5 yrs later and I still thinking about her…damn.  I think she or her mother put a spell on me.

We only had one date: it lasted 18 months it was the best and the worst time of my life.  Her name was Laureen Benji and I loved her.  Or like I said, I think I loved her?

To be blunt, to date she was the best sex I have ever had.  Damn…it was hot, raw, and loud. We got in trouble by the neighbors every day. At one point we moved the mattress into the living room to give us a sound barrier, but it didn’t work.  We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. At the peak of our sexcapades we did it about three to four times a day.

My fondest physical memory of her, besides her earthy Peppermint Patty sex appeal - was that she had the most beautiful ass I have ever seen.  It was perfection.  I am ass man and “It was gold Jerry! Gold!” It was healthy, round, and firm.  God we were fertile. I didn’t have to touch her – if I even looked at her wrong, we had a pregnancy scare.  It was a monthly baby lotto. She was a very stubborn girl.  She refuse to use birth control.  “It’s the guys responsibility” she used to say.  “It’s not natural to use birth control, it will screw up my natural rhythm”. The only thing that worked, weirdly enough, was going au naturel and pulling out. She hated condoms and my willy wouldn’t perform properly with a rain coat on, he would lose his get up and go.

(In retrospect this was a very stupid thing to do I regret it. Thankfully it did not have any adverse health consequences.)

Laureen and I had a bit of a whirlwind and tumultuous relationship to say the least.  We met, and 6 weeks later we shacked up, and it was an uphill struggle every day after that.  When it was good, it was great – and when it was bad, it was a train wreck. (Note to self: never date an Aquarian if you are a Pisces)

She was a carboholic, who loved breads, pasta, and Mediterranean food.  When I think of her I think of a local Med cafe called Aida’s where we ate lamb, falafel, spinach rolls, and hummus. Our best dinner date was Spanish-prepared Seafood at Tio’s on Valentine’s. Our worst date was at a Vietnamese cafe, where we ate chicken wings, veggie salad rolls, and lychee bubble tea.

I think we could have had a fighting chance if I wasn’t dating her mother and her ex-boyfriends (that is not a typo).  I did not realize at the time that she was still scarred by past dating disasters, and was still psycho-umblically attached to her mother’s every manipulative whim. Evil woman!

I should have clued in on our first date that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore, when I showed up at her place and it was packed from floor to ceiling with cardboard boxes…and plastic garbage bags.