Comments on: A Little Slab Of Guilt? http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/ My Life, With Appearances By Other People Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:28:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Rupert http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2568 Rupert Sat, 31 May 2008 21:26:13 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=716#comment-2568 I have absolutely no advice for you. But I just wanted to say something so I could see my cool "curtain rod" icon. I have absolutely no advice for you. But I just wanted to say something so I could see my cool “curtain rod” icon.

]]> By: red http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2567 red Sat, 31 May 2008 15:54:44 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=716#comment-2567 Vulnerability and trust beget affection and caring. It's like a law of nature or something. Just be honest about it all and don't get too wrapped up in what could be - enjoy the ride for what it is. Good luck! Red Vulnerability and trust beget affection and caring. It’s like a law of nature or something. Just be honest about it all and don’t get too wrapped up in what could be – enjoy the ride for what it is. Good luck!

Red

]]> By: Roxy http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2566 Roxy Sat, 31 May 2008 01:17:18 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=716#comment-2566 my regrets in my relationship with my on-again, off-again BDSM partner stem from the fact that i tried to play it cool, pretending i wasn't feeling the things i felt because i didn't want to overwhelm him. Ironically enough, that meant that, instead of bringing issues up when i was calm and could speak clearly, i ended up waiting until the situation was unbearable and saddling him with a lot of drama. It's not easy to find a happy balance between feeling like you're pushing him and holding back by ignoring your own needs. It's easy to SAY that a guy who's good for you will understand, but harder to live in the real world where inexperienced guys aren't always that generous. my only thoughts are that i most regret my actions when i'm not true to myself. He may be with you for years, but you'll be with you forever. (How's that for cheesy?) my regrets in my relationship with my on-again, off-again BDSM partner stem from the fact that i tried to play it cool, pretending i wasn’t feeling the things i felt because i didn’t want to overwhelm him. Ironically enough, that meant that, instead of bringing issues up when i was calm and could speak clearly, i ended up waiting until the situation was unbearable and saddling him with a lot of drama.

It’s not easy to find a happy balance between feeling like you’re pushing him and holding back by ignoring your own needs. It’s easy to SAY that a guy who’s good for you will understand, but harder to live in the real world where inexperienced guys aren’t always that generous.

my only thoughts are that i most regret my actions when i’m not true to myself. He may be with you for years, but you’ll be with you forever. (How’s that for cheesy?)

]]> By: Jay Jay http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2563 Jay Jay Fri, 30 May 2008 18:43:54 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=716#comment-2563 awwww it's ok, well I can't talk about the BDSM or the poly since I've never personally experinced either or, but as a female I totally understand why you feel the way you feel. Women who have a heart generally tend to get attatched the moment anyone explores with our bodies. Our bodies are temple and so private and we don't just let anyone take a tour. So obviously you saw something special in him, and he made you feel so good why wouldn't you want it to contiune. But men and men so you never know...., I think that at least he wants a friendship with you... which is good all in all, but can you ever really be friends if you guys have already played together ?? I couldn't. awwww it’s ok, well I can’t talk about the BDSM or the poly since I’ve never personally experinced either or, but as a female I totally understand why you feel the way you feel. Women who have a heart generally tend to get attatched the moment anyone explores with our bodies. Our bodies are temple and so private and we don’t just let anyone take a tour. So obviously you saw something special in him, and he made you feel so good why wouldn’t you want it to contiune. But men and men so you never know…., I think that at least he wants a friendship with you… which is good all in all, but can you ever really be friends if you guys have already played together ?? I couldn’t.

]]> By: Shasta http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2562 Shasta Fri, 30 May 2008 18:08:33 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=716#comment-2562 Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment Padme. You're certainly correct about the complexity of it all. Communication is so important as you said, I guess I just feel really anxious about being TOO communicative at the beginning, but at the end of the day, it sets a better tone for the future if you start with the open talking right from the beginning. I keep counting down on the calendar to when you arrive! I'm really looking forward to you coming out here :D XOXO Shasta Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment Padme. You’re certainly correct about the complexity of it all.

Communication is so important as you said, I guess I just feel really anxious about being TOO communicative at the beginning, but at the end of the day, it sets a better tone for the future if you start with the open talking right from the beginning.

I keep counting down on the calendar to when you arrive! I’m really looking forward to you coming out here :D

XOXO
Shasta

]]> By: padme amidala http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/30/a-little-slab-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2560 padme amidala Fri, 30 May 2008 14:38:33 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=716#comment-2560 Hi Shasta, I understand so much about your feelings about the bdsm and poly. I know many people didn't seem to understand the complex relationship I had with Master R but we played on such a heavy level and required so much trust to play like that. BDSM is very complex and can bond you in a way that you sometimes don't expect. Breaking up with R was one of the most complex breakups of my life. I admit that I am very picky now about who I play with now. I know that when I first get to know anyone I am already having thoughts of "will this work out" or "do we have other interests other than bdsm" because I need to know there is a friendship as well as a play relationship. Make sure to communicate lots with Varick. It can really help with how you are feeling and it's important for any bdsm relationship to make sure to communicate with who they are playing with. The trip is SOOOOOO close now!! I even had a dream about it last night. :) I can't wait! XOXO padme amidala Hi Shasta,
I understand so much about your feelings about the bdsm and poly. I know many people didn’t seem to understand the complex relationship I had with Master R but we played on such a heavy level and required so much trust to play like that. BDSM is very complex and can bond you in a way that you sometimes don’t expect. Breaking up with R was one of the most complex breakups of my life. I admit that I am very picky now about who I play with now.
I know that when I first get to know anyone I am already having thoughts of “will this work out” or “do we have other interests other than bdsm” because I need to know there is a friendship as well as a play relationship.
Make sure to communicate lots with Varick. It can really help with how you are feeling and it’s important for any bdsm relationship to make sure to communicate with who they are playing with.
The trip is SOOOOOO close now!! I even had a dream about it last night. :) I can’t wait!
XOXO
padme amidala

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