Comments on: It’s Just Another Phase That I’ll Go Through http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/ My Life, With Appearances By Other People Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:28:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Adult Sex Toys Rep - AdamEve.com http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-3888 Adult Sex Toys Rep - AdamEve.com Thu, 07 May 2009 09:48:18 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-3888 When men make statements such as that, it always gives me a great sense of unease. I really despise it actually. It really seems to me that he is just using you for the convenience and wants to establish that so he can toss of any responsibility. That is how men keep themselves detached so they don't have to realize their own flightiness. When men make statements such as that, it always gives me a great sense of unease. I really despise it actually. It really seems to me that he is just using you for the convenience and wants to establish that so he can toss of any responsibility. That is how men keep themselves detached so they don’t have to realize their own flightiness.

]]> By: Chickpea http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2347 Chickpea Tue, 06 May 2008 23:53:34 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2347 Did you tell Nelek you had intentions of him being your secondary? Did YOU have those intentions? The way the conversation comes out, it seems like this was all intended to be something casual, not a full on relationship and now he's freaking out thinking you might go all clingy on him. You're a woman. You have feelings and emotions. You have a vagina. All of these things go hand in hand unless you're a total slutbag ho afraid of opening your heart... like I used to be. Being a male he should know this shit. I think I might just be too vanilla to fully understand the complexities of polyamory. Did you tell Nelek you had intentions of him being your secondary? Did YOU have those intentions? The way the conversation comes out, it seems like this was all intended to be something casual, not a full on relationship and now he’s freaking out thinking you might go all clingy on him. You’re a woman. You have feelings and emotions. You have a vagina. All of these things go hand in hand unless you’re a total slutbag ho afraid of opening your heart… like I used to be. Being a male he should know this shit.

I think I might just be too vanilla to fully understand the complexities of polyamory.

]]> By: Stiletto Diaries » Blog Archive » Twitter Updates for 2008-05-05 http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2345 Stiletto Diaries » Blog Archive » Twitter Updates for 2008-05-05 Tue, 06 May 2008 22:36:34 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2345 [...] Emoshunal Angsts, Let Me Show Them 2 U: http://shastagibson.com/?p=665 [...] [...] Emoshunal Angsts, Let Me Show Them 2 U: http://shastagibson.com/?p=665 [...]

]]> By: Shay http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2339 Shay Tue, 06 May 2008 15:31:14 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2339 Is it being greedy to want a little bit of everything that life has to offer? I don't think so. So long as you're happy and no one is getting hurt, I say that it's all good. ^_^ Is it being greedy to want a little bit of everything that life has to offer? I don’t think so. So long as you’re happy and no one is getting hurt, I say that it’s all good. ^_^

]]> By: Adam http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2332 Adam Tue, 06 May 2008 04:10:56 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2332 I get attached quickly, too. I'm very much an optimist and see what is good in people and latch onto it with both hands. Makes me a likable guy, I suppose, but sometimes I fail to see the truth about people as well. I feel like you are better to have loved and lost than to have never loved, so I am trying to allow my feelings flow where they will. I'm an affectionate guy, and the world could always use more affection, from my perspective. But then the real world kicks in and reminds us that there must always be balance. The tricky part is that the balance keeps moving. I think it's worth the effort to find that balance, maintain it, and try to create another place of joy and happiness for yourself and those you care for. I get attached quickly, too. I’m very much an optimist and see what is good in people and latch onto it with both hands. Makes me a likable guy, I suppose, but sometimes I fail to see the truth about people as well.

I feel like you are better to have loved and lost than to have never loved, so I am trying to allow my feelings flow where they will. I’m an affectionate guy, and the world could always use more affection, from my perspective.

But then the real world kicks in and reminds us that there must always be balance. The tricky part is that the balance keeps moving. I think it’s worth the effort to find that balance, maintain it, and try to create another place of joy and happiness for yourself and those you care for.

]]> By: nia http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2330 nia Mon, 05 May 2008 22:47:36 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2330 it's kinda ironic, my most regular gal and i had a convo about this just the other day. her line seems to be that she has folks she hooks up with regular for sexual reasons, and then friends whom she also has some degree of sexual intimacy with. the people she is not particulary interested in some kind of relationship with, she contacts only for the purposes of sex. the people who are friends and regular lovers are the people she keeps in touch with regularly. i think this kind of arrangement makes sense to me, but speaking as someone who has been on both sides of the things-getting-too-serious-for-someone's-comfort-ratio, it's never easy to find yourself in one. i guess really that if you are feeling that you may be wanting more than something super casual, in general, in theory, that it's better to be honest earlier rather than later. it's not ever easy to break up over some potential, but at least talking frankly about it lets you both make an informed decision about it. if all you want now, with Nelek, is something casual in spite of feelings, then go for it. if you think you'll eventually want more, you need to honestly tell him that. it's a sucky spot to be in irregardless :( big hugs! xo nia it’s kinda ironic, my most regular gal and i had a convo about this just the other day. her line seems to be that she has folks she hooks up with regular for sexual reasons, and then friends whom she also has some degree of sexual intimacy with. the people she is not particulary interested in some kind of relationship with, she contacts only for the purposes of sex. the people who are friends and regular lovers are the people she keeps in touch with regularly. i think this kind of arrangement makes sense to me, but speaking as someone who has been on both sides of the things-getting-too-serious-for-someone’s-comfort-ratio, it’s never easy to find yourself in one.

i guess really that if you are feeling that you may be wanting more than something super casual, in general, in theory, that it’s better to be honest earlier rather than later. it’s not ever easy to break up over some potential, but at least talking frankly about it lets you both make an informed decision about it. if all you want now, with Nelek, is something casual in spite of feelings, then go for it. if you think you’ll eventually want more, you need to honestly tell him that.

it’s a sucky spot to be in irregardless :( big hugs!

xo nia

]]> By: Jade http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2329 Jade Mon, 05 May 2008 21:08:49 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2329 I care easily about people too. I find the pool of people availible to me tend not to be interested in anything quite as long term as I'm hoping for, but that doesn't ruin me having a perfectly enjoyable time with them. Communication is key though, as I learned with Frank. I care easily about people too. I find the pool of people availible to me tend not to be interested in anything quite as long term as I’m hoping for, but that doesn’t ruin me having a perfectly enjoyable time with them. Communication is key though, as I learned with Frank.

]]> By: padme amidala http://shastagibson.com/2008/05/05/its-just-another-phase-that-ill-go-through/comment-page-1/#comment-2328 padme amidala Mon, 05 May 2008 16:31:46 +0000 http://shastagibson.com/?p=665#comment-2328 Good morning Shasta, I really enjoy all your posts but this one especially hit close to home for me probably because I've had similar thoughts and feelings when it comes to poly relationships with others. I am so glad that I have you to talk to about the poly because it helps me a lot. I love that song by Miley Cyrus. Leia loves Hanna Montana and I've got so many of her songs including that one on the Ipod. :) 39 days and counting! Woot! :) XOXO padme amidala Good morning Shasta,
I really enjoy all your posts but this one especially hit close to home for me probably because I’ve had similar thoughts and feelings when it comes to poly relationships with others. I am so glad that I have you to talk to about the poly because it helps me a lot.
I love that song by Miley Cyrus. Leia loves Hanna Montana and I’ve got so many of her songs including that one on the Ipod. :)
39 days and counting! Woot!
:)
XOXO
padme amidala

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