Here For A Good Time? Or A Long Time?
Posted on May 30th, 2006 in This And That
I have been pondering this blog the last couple of days, and it occurred to me "What would I write about here if things did not work out with K?"I mean, if you look back, things before K were pretty boring around here.
So let's suppose that we decide The Poly Experiment™ with K (or being open in general) is not working. K and I end our relationship, so I post about that. I post about my feelings for a few days, maybe even a week or so after, and then that starts to get old.
I imagine after all this I would be terribly reluctant to start a new relationship, assuming that I even met anyone I am interested in.
The prospect of having no more K and no more relationship issues to blog about is sort of bleak, and I have a feeling that I would quickly grow tired of this blog. There would be serious lags between posts at the very least, I might abandon it altogether, leaving it up if only so that other could learn from our mistakes.
I think even the critics would miss me, after all, what would they do with their free time with no one to criticize?
Do not confuse this post with forshadowing, since that is not my intention. I just have nothing else to say at the moment, and when that happens, I ponder.
I will put a question to my readers, commenters and lurkers alike. Why do you read this blog? What do you get from coming here? I am simply curious as to your motives, especially the people who post biting comments. What do you love or hate about me and this blog? Inquiring minds would like to know.
Published by Shasta
May 30th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Maybe it will be your husbands turn to have a girlfriend and you can blog about your polyamoury experiment from that point of view.
I enjoy reading your blog because I’m interested in your husband and I want to be inspired by your love for eachother.
You write well, and I’ve enjoyed the links you’ve added to this site as well.
I have a feeling you’re the type of person who will find new and interesting content to fill your life as well as your writing with.
Reply To The Above Comment
May 30th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
i read because it’s interesting to read about a lifestyle different from my own. i read a lot of different blogs about all different types of people. i don’t love or hate anything about you. i only know a small portion of your life. but it does seem that your relationship with k has gone in a cycle. you and j set rules. things go ok for a while. j expresses discomfort with your relationship with k. you and k break the rules. j asks you to take a break from k. you and j and k come to an uneasy truce. things go ok for a while…..etc., etc, etc.
as for less than gracious commenters, i can only imagine that they have issues in their own lives and take it out on you. but that’s about them and not you, and they’re probably leaving just as nasty comments on a lot of other blogs.
to blog or not to blog is a question we all come to at various points in our lives. i have enjoyed reading this. i would just blog when you feel like it and leave it alone when you don’t.
Reply To The Above Comment
May 30th, 2006 at 11:05 pm
I read your blog as you are a good friend to me in R/t and our friendship goes beyond this blog. Even if you started another blog or didn’t blog…I would hope we would be friends.
I’ve gotten a lot coming here and reading you…I think you have a lot to say and I’ve enjoyed your posts, pictures, links and getting to know a bit of you through your blog.
Hope your doing ok SG…
BIG HUGS
Reply To The Above Comment
May 30th, 2006 at 11:07 pm
I keep coming back hoping that you’ve posted another photo of your ass.
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May 31st, 2006 at 1:23 am
I think you write very well about subjects that are not always easy to write about. Your honest in sharing both the good and bad of your relationships is refreshing and encouraging.
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May 31st, 2006 at 2:39 am
I like your literacy and intelligence. I like your willingness to experiement with relationship and eroticism way outside of the box, at an age at which I would never have dared such things (of course we didn’t ahve the Internet:). I flatter myself that I may have something to add to your thought process that could perhaps be helpful to you and yours.
I hate watching sincere people attempting to follow the path of their dreams being beaten up by neanderthals who are threatened by anythng that does not conform to their life’s choices. I enjoy playing defender when that occurs.
I suspect too, that you’re very hot and I think you need to be seriously disciplined to help you deal with your self-determined polyamory “rules.” I think there is a level at which I fantasize about performing that role. I wish we were closer to you. (So permit an old man his fantasies:)
We three joke we should emigrate. It seems a majority of our Internet friends are Canadian:)
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction fo your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.
Reply To The Above Comment
May 31st, 2006 at 5:14 am
My impression is that you and Jack seem to be interested in continuing to see how polyamory fits into your marriage, and that the current problems are due to the fact that K just doesn’t fit in very well. I’d be fascinated to see what both of you think about this experiment after K leaves the picture, and whether, with a little time, you and Jack decide to try again, and, if so, what you and Jack do differently. Even if you never try it again, just understanding something of the impact of the experiment on your marriage would be helpful.
My motives? Marriages are interesting; it’s rare to see this sort of raw, relatively unfiltered look inside of one. Even though mine is very different from yours, I learn something every time I tune in.
Reply To The Above Comment
May 31st, 2006 at 8:59 am
Goodmorning SG. i really hope you won’t stop blogging because i’ll surely miss this place.
The only blogs i read are those which i can feel *real*: i don’t like fiction blogs, i like to “see” the life behind the screen. And that’s how i feel when i read your blog as well.
i really appreciate your honesty in blogging. i hope you will go on.
Reply To The Above Comment
May 31st, 2006 at 2:07 pm
I pop in when I can. I guess I feel like the older sister/friend, who can speak to this from a perspective of some years.
There is the place where I don’t have to get all heated up over what you write because I don’t have “investment” in your life — you aren’t my child or any real relation. Just an interesting young person, taking life’s path and thinking about it as you go.
If I can add anything to that, then good.
Hugs, swan
Reply To The Above Comment
May 31st, 2006 at 2:11 pm
This last post reveals that your vision of things is rather self centered.
Polyamory… Amor=Love. it ALSO involves thinking of others… ;^)
your “question here” read as a bit extorsive in the sense that you believe:
“What would I write about here if things did not work out with K?”
“The prospect of having no more K and no more relationship issues to blog about is sort of bleak, and I have a feeling that I would quickly grow tired of this blog.”
and then:
“I think even the critics would miss me, after all, what would they do with their free time with no one to criticize?”
You are trying to have a convincing reason (other than your own desire) for not dumping K… and you know what?
this reason (that K is essential to the blog) is actually absolutely based on your own desire to make K a protagonist and vertex of your relationship on a daily basis.
The fact that you are looking for all these “justifications” to keep K with you reveals the degree of compromise that you have asumed with him.
Hope Jack could post more. perhaps this blog becames a chanel of comunication between you and him. hopefuly these posts will help you to reconect and will make possible that you can be as sincere and open with J as you are being with K now.
Hope also that K could, for example, think if it is not time to step aside unilaterally and for a LONG time (of not for ever.
Hope you can post about those things and maybe, only maybe. the center of your life will be again J and your children (as you and them are right now the center fot J).
Good luck with that!
m_i
Reply To The Above Comment
May 31st, 2006 at 3:41 pm
I like watcing the going ons in your life just to remind me all the interesting pitfalls of being in a polyamory relationship. I wonder if you watched the HBO series Big Love/ It centers around a polygamist lifestyle, different but emotionally very true to a polyamory lifestyle also. The old adage of “When you go to bed with someone you also go to bed with everyone they went to bed with.” is kind of true in Polyamory too. When you have someone enter into your Poilyamory Lifestyle they also enter into a relationship with everyone in your iommediate Polyamory circle. They all better get along and like each other or things just don’t work out. Imagine the problems two people have and multiply that exponentially by how ever many people is involved in your PolyAmory group. WooHoo!!!!!
Reply To The Above Comment
November 15th, 2006 at 12:24 am
I read your blog because I’m very curious to see if this whole..polymarriage thing will work out. Think of it as me trying to live vicariously through you?
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