This Is A Public Service Announcement
Posted on January 23rd, 2006 in Does All Her Own Stunts, Emotional Angst, Mating And Relating, Polyamory
I know that some of my tales from the threesome weekend are yet to be told, and I assure you that I will finish the story as soon as I can. I don't want to give anyone the impression that once you decide to start playing around outside of your marriage that everything will just go wonderfully and you will live happily ever after. Of course we always strive for that sort of thing, but naturally since we are only human, we are going to fuck it right up once in a while. I spent some time with K yesterday, and during that time, we broke one of the rules. The Condom Rule to be more specific. Jack is understandably angry. I will be the first to admit that it was immature, selfish, and totally irresponsible of me to just go ahead and make an exception in the moment. Especially after Jack and I discussed said rule after the threesome weekend and decided that we had to be more careful. I know that if our roles were reversed and it was Jack that had broken one of the rules, I would be furious. All we can do now is keep the communication open and try to work forward from this. I don't really know what that will mean yet. We are still figuring everything out as we go along. I only know that I feel terrible about the entire thing, and all I can do is apologize and assure Jack that it will never, ever happen again. Hopefully he can forgive me and eventually trust me again. More on this to come I am sure.Published by Shasta
January 23rd, 2006 at 4:25 pm
so what happened that night that made you make an exception?
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January 23rd, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Was K informed of the rules? If so, did he agree to them?
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January 23rd, 2006 at 6:02 pm
mindtrickz, I think I was just being selfish. Bareback always feels better on both ends and I have always had kind of a bad habit of neglecting to use condoms (I know how stupid that is, and now I don’t even have the excuse of being young and dumb). There is absolutly no good reason I can give you, which just makes the entire thing worse.
Anon, yes K was informed of the rules and has agreed to them. It was totally my fault that the entire thing happened, I take all the responsibility. In hindsight both K and I realized it was a very stupid move and one that we will not soon be repeating.
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January 23rd, 2006 at 6:40 pm
stupid heat of the moment…
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January 24th, 2006 at 4:56 am
Ohhh – not a good move. I hope you two can get through this quickly and without too much damage. Good luck!
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January 24th, 2006 at 5:06 am
[put's on his daddy hat] What the heck were you thinking?? I know bare back feels better and I know that everyone else knows that too. There is A LOT at stake here girlie!
Not just because of the rules you made with your husband but your HEALTH also! [/Takes his daddy hat off]
If I was there I would turn you over my knee and…oh wait…you would probably LIKE that!!
Seriously, please take care of yourself and always, ALWAYS play by the rules you set up. Once you start breaking them it may be very hard to fix them.
Ask me how I know
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January 24th, 2006 at 7:58 am
Health wasn’t an issue as both are clean. Yes theres more risk for pregnancy, however, despite subduing to the lure of going bareback I keep my head enough to take precautions. My pleasure is of far less importance then C and Jacks’s security in life. I myself take the blame for this all happening as I should have had more willpower to resist the lure. But whats done is done.. no need to make her feel any mroe worse then she already does. This is something her and Jack’s need to work over and see what happens. All we can do is hope for the best and root for them. I myself stand beside them and accept any decision they come to in how to deal with this. If they should so choose to no longer meet me I would understand and accept. It was and still can be a wonderful experience. That all depends on them. All we can do is sit, wait and see. All I’m saying lol
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January 24th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
Despite K’s statement that “health is not an issue as both are clean” this is not something which can be assumed even if both have had recent negative results for STD tests. HIV, in particular, does not show up on tests early in the course of an infection. Does K really want to trust that, for example, there were no Rule 16 violations with R, or that Jack really hasn’t had any other partners lately and is clean? Does Stiletto Girl really want to trust that K always uses a condom, except for this one time with her? Possibly everybody really is clean; are all of you willing to bet your lives on it?
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January 30th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
I’m late on this… sorry, but going to throw my two cents into the mix anyway. All the “practical” worries aside, the biggest issue with this, Stilletto, Dear (and you know that I am not one to be quick to judge) is foundational. You started this whole process off by very carefully and deliberately formulating rules. Why? I’d presume that was about creating some sense of mutual trust, accountabilty, and control. Good foundation work. What you did here, beyond the obvious risks you took with your personal wellbeing, was to take a pick axe to the foundations the two of you set in place so carefully at the outset.
If this is going to work to your mutual benefit, to the enriching of your love for one another, and to the growth and maturing of your relationship, you must absolutely be able to trust and rely on one another. That’s what all that beginning stuff was about. That’s what was most seriously harmed by this “heat of the moment” tossing the “rules” to the wind. I hope that you and Jack can find your way back to a common place to stand again. I imagine that healing will take some time…
Wishing you well.
swan
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